


Heart Skipped a Beat

by makemeanybraver



Category: Sorted (Website) RPF
Genre: Boys In Love, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Occasional Body Image Issues, Porn With Plot, Questioning, more tags in the chapter notes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2020-11-02 13:33:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 53,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20763812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makemeanybraver/pseuds/makemeanybraver
Summary: This is just a whole bunch of fluffy and sexy Mike/Ben nonsense. Mike and Ben meet each other and fall in love. Just a classic love story.





	1. so be nice to him

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Mystery of a Speeding Heart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16453985) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account). 

> One of the first Mike/Ben stories I read on here was The Mystery of A Speeding Heart, where Mike and Ben meet in a hospital waiting room and start chatting. Ben is instantly pining over Mike because, oh my gosh, he is so cute. I absolutely LOVED the Ben character in that story and I just wanted to hug him, squeeze him, and put him in my pocket. Instead, I put him in my own story. Unfortunately, that work is now orphaned. This work will chronologically follow directly from the last sentence of that work, so I encourage you all to read it. Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16453985. 
> 
> I will edit the tags here as we go along, but just to give you a taste of what's to come: this is gonna be a love story. Just a whole bunch of Mike and Ben getting to know each other and loving each other in an AU where they met in a hospital waiting room. 
> 
> Also, know that this story isn't beta'ed and I write it on my downtime in between studying. There are probably a few mistakes. I take full responsibility for them and hope that they don't stop you from enjoying the story. I just do this for fun. 
> 
> Finally, this is fiction. Mike and Ben are characters in this story and, while they may resemble the people in real life in some ways, this story is made entirely for my personal entertainment and hopefully yours. Enjoy!

Ben felt a pang in his heart as he let his arm down and continued the walk to his car. Surely, he could not stand there waving up at Mike forever, but the idea of leaving him made his chest hurt. What if Mike had only asked for his number to make him feel good and he had no plans on calling or texting him ever again? What if Mike didn't feel the spark like him? What if Mike wasn't even interested in men? Doubts raced through Ben's mind as he was waiting in traffic. Part of him felt silly for gushing about someone he had only just met yesterday. Part of him felt like there was really something there. The gazes, the grins, the laughs. Although it could have just happened that way in Ben's eyes, but not in reality. 

Whatever the case was, Ben would only be slightly ashamed to admit that the next couple of days consisted solely of hoping and waiting for a message from Mike. He could not hide it very well either, as he pulled his phone out of his pocket at every moment he was not occupied with a dish. There was a special reception lunch tomorrow Friday at the school where they were hosting a five times michelin star chef. That required an array of several different hor d'oeuvres, pastries, salads, and drinks to be prepared. All the faculty teachers were on duty for either cooking or prepping the dining area for the event. They were, however, short on a few chefs, so the staff had asked one of the more talented senior class students, James, to help out. He volunteered to help Ben on pastries, as they had known each other for about two years and were friends. 

"Are you expecting an important call?" James wondered quietly while rolling out a dough. 

Ben was embarassed at being caught phone-handed. Oh how Ben and all the other teachers had gone on to the students about phones being turned off or even better put away while cooking, to reduce the transfer of germs. Only natural James would assume that it had to be an important call. 

"Maybe..." Ben began, hesitant to elaborate further but also too antsy not to. "I told you I had to go to the emergency room to get stitches for this," he prefaced, holding up his gloved, injured hand. "Well, I met someone while I was there," he said to keep it brief. 

"Oh, is it a doctor or a nurse?" James asked, assuming Ben was awaiting a call in regards to his hand. 

"No, no. I meant I... /met/ someone. In the waiting room," Ben tried to clarify. 

"Oh, you've met a guy!" James said excitedly, it was no secret to James or most senior students that Ben was gay since he had been in a class with them as a student a year earlier. Most of them knew about the boyfriend he had had through his second and almost his third year at culinary college. His ex, though, moved on to be a co-head chef at a restaurant back home in Brighton when he graduated instead of staying to teach the next class of students. 

Ben only nodded his head, slightly sheepishly with redness spreading across his cheeks slowly. 

"You're doing quite well if you can get a number from a man you've met while waiting at the hospital," James replied, tongue in cheek. 

"Offended by the implication that you didn't think I was doing well before," Ben chuckled. "Uh, we both had to stay the night for observation and landed in the same room so we talked for some time. I drove him home as well because it was his ankles that were broken and sprained, so doctors said no going around on it without help," Ben said, finding himself now unable to stop talking about Mike now that James had gotten him started. 

"That's a little bit adorable, Ben. What's his name then?" asked James. Just then a tone sounded from inside Ben's chef jacket. "Oh, is that him?"

Ben would be lying if he said his heart didn't skip a beat when he heard that tone. He dried his hands on a tea towel and fished the phone out his pocket, excited that he saw Mike's id show on the notification in the screen. "Mike..." Ben replied to James' earlier question. The text read: Friends and I going to the pub tomorrow 9pm, are you interested? Ben texted back: Interested. Where can I meet you? He was delighted by seeing the typing response dots almost immediately after messaging. The new text read: Ankles still fucked, was hoping you'd be my shoulder to lean on for the tube ride. Come over to mines thirty minutes earlier? Ben replied: Will do. 

Now was the waiting around period. The toiling over whether Mike is into me period. The nervous but excited period. All the rest of the day and all the next day all Ben thought of was Mike. Were his friends nice? Why didn't he ask one of them for a shoulder? Surely Ben wouldn't complain but there's another question that sent him into a spiral. Maybe his friends weren't so nice or maybe he just wanted to get to know Ben. Ben hoped for the latter. In either case, he was happy to see Mike again. He only felt a little bit of butterflies in the bottom of stomach as he knocked on Mike's flat door. 

"Well, hello, Ben," Mike said, smiling. "It's good to see you," he said as he hobbled over to give Ben space to enter his flat. Ben could not help the slight pink that spread itself across his cheeks at that greeting or the multiplication of butterflies, now flying up to his chest, that he felt seeing that smile. This despite he didn't really know Mike so well. But he had a feeling about him. 

"It's good to see yourself, Mike," Ben said, instinctively lending out a hand to help Mike get some weight off of the broken ankle. "How are your ankles getting along?"

"The broken one is bloody awful, but the sprained one is starting to feel better. Cut healing?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, cut's healing," Ben said, following Mike as he walked toward his room. "Where are we spending the night then?" 

"Dolphin, over by King's Cross. You ever been?" 

"Yeah, pub's got banging Thai food."

"Mates and I usually just get some beers."

"That's a shame, they've got an incredible chicken satay." The pair finally made it to Mike's room then, he excused Ben because he needed to get a change of clothes and invited him to eat some leftovers from dinner that were still on the stove. This intrigued Ben, but he was expecting a little bit more when he went over the stove and found instant ramen with steamed broccoli and some thin sliced meat. No sauce, no more vegetables. He even noticed an empty box of frozen gyro meat in the bin. Of course he couldn't be rude, so he got himself a bowl anyway. It wasn't completely inedible. He thought of offering Mike some cooking lessons.

In a few minutes the pair was off to find the tube station. Ben enjoyed cuddling up to Mike essentially, by letting the taller man lean on him whenever he needed to get the weight off his ankle. It was a bit of a precarious situation getting on the tube with crutches what with the longer wait times involved with using elevators and the huffing and puffing of fellow transport goers who had the unfortunate luck of walking behind Mike. Regardless, Ben limped with him every step of the way, feeling bad from the faces Mike would be pulling. Surely the doctors had given him over the counter stuff for his pain? 

"Should we find a Boots and get you some paracetamol?" Ben asked gently once they had finally found themselves sat down in the tube headed for Kings Cross Station. 

"Ben, the only pain relief I need is several pints of beer," Mike joked, feeling much better now that he was sat down. Ben worried that walking around on the ankle would lengthen its healing time. "I know, I know I shouldn't be walking around on it but dammit Ben I've been sat home for the past four days and if I had waited too long to invite you for a pint, well, frankly you would have lost interest," Mike said, smiling, not giving attention at all to the people around them with annoyed faces. They can turn their music up in their headphones if they are bothered. 

"Well my interest remains. We must not go out again until your ankle heals," Ben felt his face turn warmer as he said. "We can just enjoy a beer at your flat later on," he clarified. 

"Sounds enticing, Ben," Mike smirked. The rest of the way was spent quiet so as not to upset the other commuters further. In a few minutes, the tube arrived at Kings Cross and minutes after that, the pair were walking up to the pub. 

"Friends here yet?" Ben asked. 

"Yeah," Mike answered, hobbling in. "It's those two over there," he said waving his head in their direction and waddling over with Ben's help. 

"Michael, good of you to finally join us," said the guy with very coiffed hair, glasses, and flannel on. Mike sat in a booth with him, leaving Ben the option of sitting down with the very tall thin guy.

"Is this your carer?" said the other guy with a smirk on his face. Ben laughed slightly, unsure about these two yet. 

"Bugger off. I am fine. No, this is my new friend, Ben. Ben, these are two bums I found sitting outside the pub one day and invited them in. This one's Jamie and that one's Barry. I call them Jay and Baz, affectionately," Mike joked. The two and Ben exchanged greetings.

They had already ordered beers before Ben and Mike arrived, so Mike was about to stand again to go to the bar before Ben stopped him. "I'll order two, what do you like, Mike?" Ben asked as he stood up.

"That's kind, Ben. I'll have whatever special they got on tap," Mike smiled up at Ben before he left the table. 

"You sure he isn't your carer?" Baz asked once Ben was away. 

"This is the guy you met at the hospital? Do you know anything about him?" Jamie asked. 

"Yes, and well I dont know his whole life story, but we were in the same room together for quite some time and we talked. He just seemed like a really friendly guy," Mike said, stealing a sip of Jamie's beer. "So, be nice to him," he said pointedly. 

"And his name is?" Jamie asked.

"Ben, it's Ben. Benjamin Ebbrell," Mike said quietly as he noticed that Ben was already making his way back to the table with two pints of beer. 

"So, Ben, Mike tells us you two met at the hospital. Did you trip on your own two feet like this bloke?" Jamie asked, giggling. 

"Oh, come on, it happens to everyone," Mike complained, shaking his head in disapproval of Jamie's teasing. 

"Um, by everyone, do you mean toddlers learning how to walk for the first time?" Barry said, laughing along with Jamie. Ben laughed along as well, just to not look out of place. He wondered if Mike's friends always made fun of him like this. 

"No," Ben responded once the laughter had died down. "No, I just sliced my hand while I was cooking. Got stitches in, getting them out in a few days," he said.

"Yeah, that's right because Ben here is a professional chef," Mike said, hint of brag in his voice for Ben, it made Ben smile. 

"Really? Where do you cook?" Baz asked curiously.

"Well, no, that's misleading. I teach first-year students at the culinary institute of London. Essentially I have the skills of a professional chef, but I don't cook professionally at a restaurant," Ben explained. 

"Damn, I've always wanted to learn how to cook proper food, but seems all complicated. I always burn things when I cook," Baz said. 

"That's because you always leave the hob on, you bell-end," Mike accused him, to which Baz immediately tried defending himself, but it was no use because Jamie accused him as well and he couldn't fight both of them. "If you couldn't tell, Ben, three of us used to live in a flat together while in uni. Baz almost burnt us down multiple times, eventually we just stopped letting him try to cook and shelled out for meals at the dining hall," Mike said. 

"Well, Baz, it's really not that complicated and only takes some practice. Learning how to turn the hob off is the first step," Ben said with a smirk, which got Mike and Jamie to start laughing again. He felt proud, like he was already starting to fit in with the group. 

"Oh, not you too, come on Ben," Baz said sarcastically, rolling his eyes at Mike and Jamie. 

"Well, what do you all do for jobs then?" Ben asked curiously. 

"I'm a photographer," Barry said. 

"Oh, just like," Ben said pointing at Mike. 

"Yeah! Dunno if he's told you, but we usually photograph together. Weddings, school pictures, whatever we get asked," Barry explained.

"And I make adverts," Jamie said. 

"Any that I would have seen?" Ben asked curiously. Just then, a waiter brought over a plate of chicken satay and crispy squid. Jamie went to say that they hadn't ordered this, then Ben interrupted saying he got it for them. "Mike told me you all have been to this pub and never ordered food. I picked somethings that you should try," Ben said, pursing his lips hoping that they all wouldn't think he was weird for ordering for them or asking them to eat food that they didn't ask for. 

"Well, I've never ate Thai food. Didn't seem like something I'd like," Barry said, which Ben took as a bad sign. Mike immediately made things better.

"Baz, aren't you always going on about how you'll try anything once?" Mike ribbed him, trying to encourage him to try it. "Thank you, Ben," he said, smiling at him from across the table. Ben responded that it wasn't a problem.

"I love eating and that looks like a chicken goujon, so what could be so bad about it?" Jamie said, putting his hand in the middle of the table first and picking up a piece of chicken and dipping it in the sauce. "Whoa, hold on a minute. That's not mustard, I thought that was going to be mustard," he said as he chewed the food in his mouth and tasted the new flavors. Everyone then followed suit after him, each picking up a piece of chicken, dipping it in the sauce, and eating it. 

"That tastes like peanut butter," Mike commented. 

"Oh my god, I've never tasted this taste before," Barry said with a surprised tone. Everyone chimed in about how it was really good. 

"That's chicken satay. It's chicken marinated with ginger and soy sauce, curry powder, garlic, sugar. It's amazing. And the sauce is peanuts, chili, sugar, and more soy," Ben said as he took another bite.

"That's a lot, mate. It tastes like savory and spicy, but also sweet and salty. That's banging," Mike said, taking another piece himself. 

"Yeah, why haven't we ever bought the food here before?" Barry asked.

"Well, what's that? Crispy onions," Jamie asked, making Ben laugh. Ben said no, but encouraged them to try it. Barry gave him a concerned look as he picked up a piece and brought it to his mouth. He started chewing it slowly, and then gagged, making everyone at the table laugh.

"Wait, wait, I don't hate it. It just surprised me," Barry clarified, laughing as well and swallowing it. "That's weird," he commented as everyone picked up a piece of their own. 

"It tastes like fish, but... it doesn't..." Jamie started saying, confused about what he was eating, but it did taste good, mostly he tasted fish and lime. 

"It doesn't feel like fish, like it's chewier," Mike said, he also liked it too. 

"It's squid," Ben broke the news and laughed at how shocked all the boys got. 

"I had no idea thats what squid tasted like. Its not bad," Jamie said, going on for another. 

"No, its actually really good," Mike said, doing the same. "Damn, Ben. Thank you for ordering this for us," he said, smiling in Ben's direction, which instantly caused his heart to race. That smile and those eyes were something else. If he felt this good about Mike and his friends approving of his choice from a menu, he imagined what it would feel like if they approved of meal that Ben cooked himself. The two others then gave a resounding thanks as well. 

Mike wanted to go and order Ben another beer and maybe another plate of food too, but his ankles were killing him and he didnt think that he could stand and go order by himself. "I want to get you another drink, but do you mind helping me?" Mike asked and of course Ben did not hesitate to say no. His heart skipped several beats there when Mike put his arm around his shoulder and he got to put his arm around Mike's waist. 

"You alright, there?" Ben checked to make sure that Mike was comfortable before they hobbled to the bar together. 

"Yeah," Mike said, breathing through the pain. "Whats your favorite drink, Ben?" Mike asked, and Ben was flattered that he asked instead of ordering him another beer. First go, Ben had only ordered two beers because that is what Mike asked for and what the others were drinking. He didnt want to seem out of place. 

"I really like gin," he said. 

"Gin it is then. And what else do you recommend from the menu?" Mike asked, and Ben said the spring rolls would be quite nice. When they made it to the bar, Mike ordered three more beers, a gin and tonic, and an order of spring rolls. After pouring each drink, the boys then had to figure out how they would get them all the way back to the table with only two free hands between the two of them. "Wait, okay, so here is my idea, you take two of them and I'll walk behind you holding myself up with my arms up on your shoulders. And I'll hold the other two like out in front of your face," Mike said, moving his arms around to demonstrate how it might work. Ben was going to suggest that he would just bring two beers over to the guys, walk back, and help Mike walk over again. But would he pass up a chance at having Mike on his back? Of course not. 

"Okay, that sounds crazy, but lets do it," Ben giggled as he picked up his gin and a beer. Mike smiled and laughed in response, picking up two more beers and getting into the position. Ben checked if he was ready then stepped one foot forward. Mike dragged himself behind Ben, trying not to put too much pressure on Ben's shoulders or his ankles. As they started moving faster, Mike's hands were getting shakier and some beer started to drip from the top, causing Mike to curse and Ben to laugh. 

"Oh come on, Ben, we are so close. Bollocks," Mike laughed as his fingers got covered in beer. They had the table in their sights but were not paying much attention to the friends sat there. Barry and Jamie had confused looks on their faces at the way that Mike and Ben were walking and laughing. 

"Isnt it weird to ask some bloke who've you only met once, at a hospital to go and have a drink with you?" Barry whispered while they were still out of earshot. 

"Yeah, but hes nice and he bought us good food. And they seem like theyre having fun," Jamie whispered back just before the boys came upon the table. Ben set two beers down and Mike pivoted himself around him to plop back down in his seat. Mike handed the two beers in his hand to Barry and Jamie. "Oh, Mike, you spilled like a full quarter of this glass," Jamie said, slightly annoyed but unwilling to complain outright about the free beer. 

"Let me tell you, mate, it was a task to get them here," Mike said laughing and then taking a big gulp of the beer that Ben carried.

"They must have given you some heavy pain killers, Michael. There were like 10 easier ways to do that," Barry said, rolling his eyes and chuckling, wondering why Mike was asking this guy to carry him around instead of one of his mates. 

"Yeah, but none as fun," Ben remarked which made Mike laugh, which made Ben's infatuation even stronger. Jamie and Barry shared an inquisitive look, one that the other boys didn't see because they were too engrossed in their giggling at each other. 

Barry cleared his throat, then spoke, "So, Ben, d'ya got a girlfriend?"

Then Ben had to make a choice... He decided not to. "No, Baz. Have you?" Ben asked, trying to keep his voice at a normal volume so no one suspected that anything might be off. 

"Oh, yeah. Her name is Hayley. She's gorgeous. She's a make-up artist," Barry started to say, now fully steered away from his inquiry as to Ben's romantic affairs. The two other boys then started to ask how things were going on with her. Barry went on talking about how she was doing really great in cosmetics school, learning how to cut hair, practicing make-up on different people. Somehow the conversation got back to Ben. He wished he could kill Barry for grilling him about this, but Ben knew he didnt really mean any harm. The thing was that he was not about let Barry or Jamie, who he hardly knew, know that he was gay because who knew how they would react. Maybe under the right circumstances, he would come to tell Mike. Maybe when he finally got up the nerve to tell him that he fancies him. 

"You being a chef and all that, you could probably get a girlfriend easy," is what Barry said, and that got Ben feeling all insecure about all the qualifications that Barry was attaching to him about his ability to get a girlfriend. He just smiled and nodded and drank his gin. Mike was the only one paying close enough attention to notice that Ben seemed to be getting uncomfortable. 

"These two lads are blinded by love, they are. They havent been single in ages. Im pretty sure that Jay proposed to his girlfriend Lucy when they were still in nappies and theyve been taking all this time to plan the wedding. No, Ben, you and I, we are free men. We are free to go where the wind takes us," Mike started saying, as if it was a massive declaration, and it made Ben and himself laugh. Really, Ben was pleased to hear the confirmation that Mike was single. Finally, the spring rolls arrived at the table and the tasting experience was much the same, everyone loved it despite having never tried before. Mike asked Ben if he knew how to cook food like this. 

"Yeah, Thai is probably one of my favorite cuisines to cook. It utilises so many fresh vegetables and herbs and really high quality ingredients. Its always delicious," Ben commented before biting through a spring roll. 

"Mate, you really gotta teach me how to cook like this. D'ya think i can learn? You saw what I had for dinner tonight," Mike said laughing. 

"Yeah of course you can. You can make anything with just a little guidance and practice. I'd love to teach you," Ben said with a smile and his heart skipped a beat when Mike smiled back. He took the final sip of his gin, feeling a nice warmth in his blood, tuning out all the noise as he looked on at Mike with his toothy smile and bright blue eyes. Ben thought he was really in trouble. He tried not to stare too directly so as not to make things awkward. After some minutes passed, Jamie said something about heading home and so did Barry. Ben waited for Mike to say so. He didn't. 

"Your friends are quite the interesting pair," Ben said. 

"Yeah, they're annoying but I love them," Mike laughed as he sipped his beer. "I do have to apologize for Barry grilling you about your love life. He's weird. Dunno why he did that," he said sincerely, as he had noticed that the topic had made Ben uncomfortable. The fact he noticed made Ben fancy Mike even more. "Have you been through a break up recently or something?" Mike asked, hoping that he and Ben had established a level of trust that Ben could talk comfortably about something like this. 

"Not too recently. But yeah. About 7 months ago my ex and I mutually broke up," Ben said, careful not to use pronouns. 

"Oh so you both wanted to end it?" Mike asked to clarify. 

"Yeah. Well, we were just going to graduate from culinary schools and were going different places. We didn't want to be long distance and we decided we're better off as friends anyway. What about yourself, Mike? Single?" Ben asked, curious and surprised to hear that Mike didnt have a partner. 

"Yeah. Ive actually been single for 5 years now. I dont have the best luck with the ladies, honestly," Mike chuckled to himself. "But its alright. Ive kind of resigned myself to the whole 'I'll know it when the right person comes along' mentality," Mike explained. 

"Did you ever think in the last five years that maybe the right person had come along?" Ben asked curiously. 

"Uhm..... Yeah," Mike said shifting his eyes between Ben and his not empty glass of beer. "Maybe," he said, shrugging his shoulders. Then Ben offered to go and get them more drinks, and returned in a minute or two with another gin and another beer. "I dont know. The problem with me is that I'm always way too nervous to ask a girl out on a proper date and I get paranoid thinking about well is she into me, is she enjoying the date, or whatever. Its such pressure, you know," he started saying. 

"Really?" ben asked surprised. "You struck me as a really confident guy. Youre so personable and easy to talk to," Ben said honestly. 

"Im really glad that you think so," Mike laughed slightly. "So are you," he said, smiling at Ben. "Thank you for helping with my ankle and getting us food. Youre a top bloke, really. We should do this again when my cast gone," Mike said, and it made Ben hopeful. 

"It's alright," Ben said trying not to take too much credit. "I wanted too. But when do you get the cast off?" Ben asked. 

"By next Friday. I might still have a brace on but docs said I'll be able to walk on my own so i wont have to lean on you anymore," he laughed, and Ben wanted to tell him that he could lean on him anytime. "Those stitches are out already, yeah? Still got the scar?" Mike said, putting his hand in Ben's and holding it up higher to see. Ben's breath caught in his throat when Mike touched him, rubbed his fingertips across the scar on his hand. He mumbled an answer to Mike's questions, though he could barely think with his hand in his. In a moment, the feeling was gone again. Ben wished he had an excuse to grab and hold Mike's hand back. "Thats kind of badass. You can tell people you were a knife fight with someone," Mike said, raising his eyebrows. 

"Well, I suppose I was technically in a knife fight. With myself," Ben pointed out, letting out a chuckle when Mike laughed. 

"You won and lost at the same time, mate," Mike said as he laughed. 

"That bloke's never going to come at me with a knife a second time," Ben joked, making himself and Mike laugh more. Mike commented that Ben was so funny, and Ben felt his heart fill with so much joy, a smile spread itself wide across his face. They started talking about Ben's job, how he loved educating and learning from young first year culinary students, how he loved helping people, how he loved food and learning new things about food and cooking food. Again the topic of cooking lessons came up and this time, they actually agreed that Ben agreed would come to Mike's flat with some ingredients in tow next Friday to help Mike learn to cook something new in his kitchen. They both said they looked forward to it. 

They talked about Mike's job, how he got into photography, what he liked about it. Also about how he used to teach music to kids in year 8 for two years, taught them to play a guitar and how to sing. Ben marveled at what a creative mind Mike had. He wondered if he could play music for him or take photos of him. They talked until it became midnight and they both got tired. They slowly made their way to a bus stop, arm around a shoulder and another arm around a waist, electing not to get on the tube again because of all the elevators. When the next bus came, there were plenty of open seats since it was so late but since they were already attached, they sat next to each other. Almost were snuggling. Ben's whole body was set alight by how close they became both physically and emotionally. Maybe it was just him but he started to seriously consider that maybe Mike was into him too.


	2. say that again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "That was quite the kiss," he said, bringing his arms to Ben's waist. 
> 
> "Would you like to do it again?" Ben asked eagerly, rubbing his fingers on Mike's neck. 
> 
> "Yeah?" Mike said, not intending it to sound like a question as if he was unsure of what he wanted. "Yes," he repeated, bending down again and capturing Ben's lips.

Ben spent the whole week anxiously waiting for Friday. He came to Mike's door with a bag of ingredients for some bahn mis, a bottle of gin, and a feeling of happiness that he finally was going to see Mike again. Amplified by about five times when Mike opened the door and invited him in with a big smile and a hello. 

"How are you feeling, Mike?" Ben asked, glancing down to take notice that Mike had his foot cast off. 

"I'm feeling fine. It doesnt hurt too much now. The doc gave me a brace to wear when I'll be walking around a lot, but its mostly healed. Tell me whats on the menu tonight, Ben," Mike spoke enthusiastically. Ben took his bag to Mike's kitchen counter and removed all its contents, splaying it out in front of him. "I see bread. You should know, Ben, I love carbs," Mike smiled. 

"Well thats great," Ben giggled. "Because tonight Im gonna teach you how to make a sandwich," he said. 

"A sandwich? Ben, I know I told you I dont know how to cook, but you must give me some credit," Mike said, laughing. 

"No, no, but its not a boring sandwich. Its a really great sandwich from Thailand called a Bahn Mi. I know that you'll like it," Ben said confidently. He asked Mike for a jar, then told him to take some vinegar and fill it about half way, then add some salt and sugar, all while Ben was julienning a cucumber, carrot, and green chile. Ben asked if Mike had ever made homemade gherkins before, Mike answered that he didnt know gherkins were made of cucumber until a few years ago. Of course not. Ben then showed him another jar of pickles that he had pickling since yesterday morning, and Mike appreciated how well prepared he was. 

They worked together on cutting up a pork filet into strips and marinating it with green curry and soy sauce. They had a pan full of steaming hot pork strips, two small baguettes sliced down the middle, a handful of chopped coriander, and a jar of picked veg, all ready to assemble into sandwich form in no time. Mike then poured out some gin and orange juice for the both of them before they started chowing down. 

"Thanks for teaching me how to make this, mate. Its delicious. And I think I could actually make it by myself," Mike said in between bites. 

"Definitely, yeah. The green curry sauce is kind of a cheat. You can buy it premade at the grocery store instead of making your own and it is loaded with flavor. It has curry, gives it heat, lime juice for acidity, sugar to balance the lime, and soy for the saltiness," Ben said. 

"I had no idea that those flavors were in that green sauce. Like, Im tasting it and it tastes great but I'd have no clue what the flavors are if you hadnt told me. You really know your food, mate. You're a great teacher, too. You're really in the perfect job," Mike commented. 

"I'd really like to teach more people," Ben replied. 

"Like have a tv show where you meet blokes like me that are 23 still eating instant ramen for dinner and teach them how to cook," Mike chuckled. 

"Maybe not exclusively 23 year old men who eat instant ramen," Ben giggled. "But something like that I suppose. I doubt i'd ever get on tv though," Ben said. 

"Well, what about something that you could do on your own or with some mates? Like start a series on Youtube or something," Mike suggested. 

"Youtube? Don't people just upload like funny videos of their cats on there," he asked. 

"Theres some more variety than that," Mike chuckled. "Lots of companies and product makers put up instructional videos on youtube. Thats kind of like that. Instructing people how to make food," Mike said. 

Ben considered it for a moment. "Yeah, I mean it sounds kind of innovative... Really, I was thinking more along the lines of making a cookbook for the public," he said, getting more gin and juice to refill their drinks, and the pair finished up their sandwiches and moved the conversation over to Mike's couch. 

"A cookbook, thats the traditional way of teaching people to cook, innit? Well, whats stopping you?" Mike asked. 

"I dont know. I havent really thought about it seriously. I know that I would have to write down the recipes. But I'd also have to get pictures of the food to put them in there. And I have no clue how I'd get it published," Ben explained. 

"You got a photographer sitting right in front of you, mate. As for the publishing, maybe we can do e-cookbooks. Or my mate Jamie could make an ad for the book, we can get orders online, and then get them printed. Like self publishing," Mike brainstormed. 

Ben couldnt help but smile as he heard Mike turn them into a we. He thought how endearing it was that Mike was making a whole plan to help him create something that was just a wishful idea in his head. 

"That sounds like an awesome idea," Ben said, trying to resist the urge to sit closer to Mike. 

"Yeah... We should really try it sometime," Mike said quietly, looking on at Ben in a way that made the chef nervous, though he tried his best not to let that on. "What did you teach your students this week?" Mike asked quietly, again, laying his head down on the couch cushion. 

"I taught them how to cut their hands open with knives," Ben said dryly. There was a two maybe three second silence where Ben was sure that his joke didn't land. Then Mike started laughing, his whole chest shaking, his eyes crinkling. Ben felt his heart explode with butterflies seeing the man across from him laugh with so much joy at a stupid little joke he made. He smiled back at him, chuckling to himself before chugging the last few sips of his drink. 

"Yeah, you really good at that. Right, Ben?" Mike egged on.

It was the three drinks that Ben had in him (yes, he did take a shot from the bottle of gin in his car before going up to Mike's flat, he was very nervous!) that gave him this confidence boost. He knew what he wanted to say, didn't even think about it three or four times as usual. Mike was sat there next to him on the couch, smiling, laughing at his joke and it felt right. Felt good. 

"Mike, forget it if you disagree, but I've really enjoyed spending time with you and I'm wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me," Ben said. 

"What?" Mike laughed. "Say that again." 

"A date!" Ben said, louder now, waving his arms too. "I could cook you dinner or we can go out for dinner if you'd prefer. We can go to the cinema," Ben said.

"You fancy me?" Mike asked, smiling with an inquisitive look. 

"I fancy you, Mike Huttlestone. I do," Ben remained. Mike thought this over briefly, unsure how to respond given that he's never been given such a proposition by a mate before. 

"Well, that's quite a compliment," Mike laughed again, nervously this time. "If I don't fancy you, can we still hang out? Can we be mates?" Mike asked, looking down at the couch between them, refusing to meet Ben's gaze. 

"Yeah," Ben said after a pregnant pause. "Yeah, just, nevermind then," he said after clearing his throat. Just when Ben was imagining an excuse to leave, Mike spoke again. 

"And what if I don't know if I fancy you?" Mike said, finally engaging with Ben's eyes. "Can you make me dinner and we'll put on a film and that whole bit," Mike suggested. 

"I think you just want me to make you dinner," Ben laughed nervously. "Mike, I'm alright. You don't have to," he said sympathetically, secretly hoping that he never said anything.

"Well, I know I don't have to. Still, uh... a dinner sounds like something that I might enjoy. So I will go to yours tomorrow evening for dinner," Mike said decisively. 

"Okay. I will have dinner then," Ben nodded. 

"Okay," Mike said, smiling, the one that was entirely infectious and got Ben to smile, too. "Stating the obvious, you are gay," Mike said, more like a question. 

"Yes, I am. Always have been and always will be," Ben said, now getting up for another gin and juice, taking Mike's glass to refill it as well. 

"How did you know?" Mike asked out of curiosity. 

"Um... Well, in primary school, I was in the scouts. There was a boy, in my troop, named George. He was very tall, at least for a 10 year old, very athletic, very kind as well. He would always help me and the other boys when we were struggling with a task. I thought he was quite cute. There were just so many things that I fancied about him," Ben shrugged. 

"So what happened with George?" Mike asked. 

"Oh nothing. I never told him I fancied him and I never saw any indication that he fancied boys. My first kiss was with a boy named Jamie," Ben laughed. 

"Jamie?! Surely not my Jamie?" Mike laughed with him. 

"No, no of course not," Ben laughed. "Another Jamie. I was 13 and he was 15. Well, it's not fair that I keep having to tell you about my childhood crushes. You tell me yours," Ben asked. 

"Well, theyre just not nearly as interesting, are they? They were all girls. I can't quite remember but Im almost sure the first girl I had a crush on was Allison, also in primary school," Mike said. 

"Yeah? What did you fancy about her?" Ben asked. 

"I dont know. She smelled nice, shared her snacks with me, laughed at my jokes. It doesn't take much for me, truly," Mike said sarcastically, to which Ben laughed. Ben couldnt help but think about how he fulfilled all those criteria for Mike tonight. Or at least he hoped he smelled good. 

Ben cleared his throat before coming out with his next question. "Whats got you unsure about you fancying me?"

Mike took a few seconds to really think about this. "Well, I guess its just because I've never fancied another boy or a man before. But you are quite kind, and I enjoy spending time with you, you're quite funny, its charming how you often turn red when complimented," Mike smiled, enjoying how Ben's cheeks were getting pinker and pinker. "Its also quite flattering that you fancy me. Whats got you sure about that?"

"Oh, dont. Dont. That's not fair. You say you arent sure, but youre making me tell you why I fancy you?" Ben laughed. 

"Please go on. Maybe it will make me fancy you," Mike said, raising his eyebrows and grinning. 

"You're an arsehole, Mike," Ben laughed, sitting back and finishing off his drink. "Well, you're very attractive for starters," he said. "You're easy to chat with. You're quite charming. Uh, does this satisfy you, Mike?" 

"I think thats all the gin talking for you. But yes," Mike said. "Consider me satisfied, Ben Ebbrell. Have you ever been in this situation before?" he asked. 

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, have you ever fancied a man that... Well, that was not sure?" Mike asked. 

"Oh sure. The first boy I kissed, Jamie, he wasn't sure. We kissed and did other things several times and he was never sure. He also had a girlfriend during the time that we were, uh, getting to know each other. Eventually, I just stopped seeing him," Ben explained. 

"Do you know who he's with now?"

"No, it doesnt bother me," Ben said. 

"Was it hard for you? To grow up knowing that you fancied boys?"

"Yes, well I think it is hard for anyone. In primary, all my mates would be talking about the girls and it felt foreign to me. I guess I felt like I was wrong for having feelings for a boy when none of the other boys did. After seeing Jamie, I wanted to be more open about my sexuality because I was interested in a relationship. I saw alot of the people around me in relationships, many of them seemed quite happy. But being more open meant getting picked on and called names by people who didnt understand me. When I was in cooking school, people were more accepting since times changed. I saw a boy named Alex in school for about two years. Hes the ex I told you I broke up with 7 months ago. I guess its just hard to accept a piece of you that seems so different from the pieces of everyone else," Ben explained. 

"Are you really open about it now?" Mike asked. 

"Well, I came out to my mum and dad a few months after I stopped seeing Jamie. Then I started openly dating other boys from school. A lot of people say they can see it in me... I try to be proud even though sometimes people still treat me differently," Ben said, pursing his lips before letting out an enormous sigh. 

"Thank you for telling me all this. You know... I guess have two fears. First one being, if I am gay, how is it going to change me and my relationship with my parents, my mates? Second one being learning how to be in a relationship with a man if I never have been before," Mike explained. 

"Well, hopefully it wont change a lot. But if it does, then in my personal opinion, its better to know. Being open and honest about who you are feels better than hiding the truth about yourself from people who might not love you for who you are. And I promise you that most of it is the same. Ive never been in a relationship with a woman before but ive seen it in film and TV and whatnot... You go on dates, you open up about yourself, you support each other, you do things for the other person and the other person does things for you. The only change is that men have cocks. And if you are gay, and if you would like to be boyfriends, then we'll cross that bridge when we get to it," Ben said. 

"The cock bridge," Mike smirked. 

"Yes," Ben giggled, looking back at Mike, feeling comforted by his gaze. "The cock bridge." There was a pause between them while they just looked on at each other. Ben thought of all the possibilities that lied ahead of him and he had the feeling like most of them were very good. Mike thought about getting closer. 

"I think I'd like to kiss you, Ben. I've just never kissed another man before so I'm not sure how it works," Mike said smiling. 

"Have you kissed a woman, Mike?" Ben asked, to which Mike nodded his head. "I can promise you it is the exact same," Ben laughed as he stood up from the couch. Mike followed, standing after and looking on at him with stars in his eyes, like Ben was something really special and Ben would be lying if he said it didn't give him the greatest feeling in the world. 

"Really? Okay, and you're gonna make me do it?" Mike asked laughing. 

"I can't quite reach you up there by myself," Ben replied, looking up at Mike with big round eyes, feeling his heart beating faster. "Unless you want me to kiss you elsewhere," Ben said, gently smiling as he brought a hand up around Mike's waist. 

"Well, usually you don't start elsewhere, but," Mike said, trailing off as he stared into Ben's eyes. Mike stepped even closer, nearly closing the gap between them entirely, before a raising a hand to Ben's cheek. He finally bent down and kissed Ben softly, without much effort, as if he had done it before, as if he had been kissing Ben all his life. 

In a couple seconds, Mike pulled back thinking it was over, but Ben pulled him back in, now lifting both hands to the back of Mike's head. Ben delved his tongue in Mike's mouth as he caressed the skin on his neck. The kiss lasted a few more seconds than the last before Ben pulled back and opened his eyes. 

"Wow..." Mike said, somewhat out of breath and heart beating fast. "That was quite the kiss," he said, bringing his arms to Ben's waist. 

"Would you like to do it again?" Ben asked eagerly, rubbing his fingers on Mike's neck. 

"Yeah?" Mike said, not intending it to sound like a question as if he was unsure of what he wanted. "Yes," he repeated, bending down again and capturing Ben's lips. This kiss was much like the first two ones except Mike took the lead this time, pushing his tongue in Ben's mouth and even moaning into his mouth. Once he started running out of breath, he pulled back to see Ben's red face, his eyes still closed because he didn't want the kiss to end. Only a couple seconds later, he opened his eyes again, delighted by the look in Mike's eyes. "I quite enjoyed that," Mike said stepping one little bit closer and shutting that gap between them entirely. 

"Yeah, me too," Ben whispered, laying his cheek on Mike's chest and clasping his fingers behind his neck. They stood there in an embrace for a long while. Mike liked how Ben smelled and felt in his arms, liked how comfortable this felt, liked how Ben made him feel desired. 

"I fancy you, too, Ben," Mike whispered in his ear, making Ben's heart beat now five times as fast. Mike loosened his arms from around Ben's waist, as did Ben from Mike's neck and they stepped back. As soon as they did, Ben pulled Mike down and kissed him warmly again, quickly. "I really want to see you tomorrow, on a proper date," Mike said. 

"You will. I'll make dinner, get some wine. The whole bit. You and me," Ben said, squeezing the back of Mike's neck, now going up on his toes to kiss him again. "Don't want to stop kissing you, Mike." 

"We'll kiss more after dinner tomorrow. This was... Wonderful and so much more that I expected from this night inviting you over for drinks and cooking lessons," Mike smiled and laughed. 

"Yeah, I hope you learned some things," Ben said, sad but understanding that Mike didnt want to go too fast. He grabbed his phone and wallet and put them back in his pockets. 

"I learned a lot from you, Ben," Mike said, following Ben to his front door. 

"Goodbye, Mike. Until tomorrow," Ben said. They shared one last kiss before Ben left the flat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed!


	3. a first one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How am I going to tell people? My parents, my mates..." Mike said, leaning his forehead up against Ben's and holding his other hand now too, both of them shutting their eyes. 
> 
> "You don't need to tell them tomorrow," Ben said, squeezing Mike's hands. "You can take your time. No rush," he explained further, rubbing his nose against Mike's. 
> 
> "Can I tell you?" Mike whispered. 
> 
> "Yeah," Ben replied, so quiet it was almost inaudible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of this chapter contains mild sexual content.

Being honest, Ben had never felt more excited to make a meal for someone before he invited Mike over for a date. And Ben has cooked for Gordon Ramsay. The process for deciding what to prepare was a long one. He had to choose something not too complex, because Mike didn't have a very sophisticated palette, but also impressive, and of course he had to make dessert as well. Eventually, he decided on spaghetti with chicken parmesan and an apple tarte tatin. He was very pleased with himself for having come up with such a good menu for his date. He was very pleased with himself, additionally, for having asked Mike out on a date and not been rejected. His heart may have even skipped a beat when he heard a knock at his door and saw the tall blond man behind it. 

Mike was going to start with hello, but as soon as Ben opened his door, he was hit by the smell. "Wow, it smells amazing in here," Mike said excitedly, walking in as Ben made room for him. "Hello," he smiled, bending over to peck Ben on his lips, which came as a surprise given that the pair had only shared a few kisses last night while they were both drunk. He had to be honest, it came as a relief to Ben that Mike still wanted to kiss him sober. 

"Hello," Ben replied, smiling back for a moment before turning his back and walking over to the kitchen. Mike followed and sat himself at the counter island on a barstool. "We have chicken parmesan and spaghetti for the main and apple tarte tatin for dessert. I hope you are hungry because it's nearly ready," Ben said. 

"I have no idea what apple tat satin is, but how did you know I love italian food?" Mike asked, propping his head up on his elbows and watching Ben move through the kitchen. 

"It's apple tarte tatin," Ben repeated more slowly, smiling when Mike repeated his words and got them wrong again. "Pasta's italian definitely, the tarte is french. Would you like wine?" 

"Oh, I'm already having such an excellent time. Yes, please," Mike said happily. Ben shut the oven off and retrieved a bottle of wine from the fridge, two glasses from the pantry, and poured wine for them both. After taking a sip, Ben went on to begin plating their dinners. "Okay, that looks amazing. You must have been cooking for a while before I came here," Mike said. 

"I wanted to impress you," Ben said, slight pink on his cheeks as he extended a finished plate to his date. 

"Job done, thank you," he said as sliced off a piece of chicken and wrapped some spaghetti around his fork. "That's... Freaking delicious. Are you serious? You cook like that for yourself every day? Ben, you could be a chef at a proper posh restaurant," Mike said, shutting up then to eat some more. 

"I love cooking," Ben explained, extremely flattered at the compliment that he didnt know what to say as his cheeks turned pink. 

"Well you're proper talented," Mike said, to which Ben smiled. 

"Next date its only fair that you sing to me whilst playing the guitar," Ben said, taking a risk at suggesting a second date just minutes into their first. 

"Oh I'm much less impressive," Mike said immediately, seemingly not paying much attention to Ben's implication. It kind of made Ben feel bad. 

"I dont believe you," Ben replied, trying to brush off and play down his disappointment. 

"If you'd like, I can write you a song? Play it for you on our next date?" Mike offered, although nervous, and Ben's heart skipped a beat hearing that. It instantly made him happy. 

"A song for me?" Ben reiterated, heart beating fast. "That is so damn romantic, Mike Huttlestone. Of course, I would love a song," he said, already swooning. 

"You know, one day I wrote a song for a girl I fancied in year 10, because I was too shy to tell her directly. I wrote it down and had set the paper down on her desk in the next class we had together. When she arrived, she turned over the paper, read it, then crumpled it up and threw it in the bin. She didn't even look at me!" Mike said, finding it funny now so many years later. 

"I can promise you that I will love your song," Ben said. 

"Now, dont just say you like it, if you dont, to spare my feelings," Mike asked, having just about his finished plate, and Ben as well finished. 

"I have full confidence in you that you cannot write a bad song," Ben said, which made Mike smile hard. 

"So, you're in charge of the dinner portion of the evening, and I'm the entertainment," Mike said, feeling a sudden rush of blood through him. 

"We have everything we'll ever need," Ben replied quietly, taking a risk and putting his hand on Mike's thigh, hoping that Mike would hold it. And he did, Mike turned his hand so it lied palm up and locked his fingers into Ben's. 

"I was thinking a lot about you yesterday after you'd left, and its... Just you make me feel a lot of feelings that I never had felt for another man before... Um, and not that it's a bad thing, at all. It feels good. Its just... Well, frankly, very confusing for me," Mike said honestly. 

"I understand what you mean," Ben said, trying to comfort him. "You dont have to be sure for my sake. I'm happy just knowing that you fancy me and want to date me. If it takes time for you to find out how you feel about your sexuality, then thats okay with me," Ben reassured him with a squeeze of his hand. 

"Youre too kind," Mike whispered, looking into Ben's eyes and feeling his heart ache at how gorgeous he looked. "Thing is that I've fancied girls, and I always have until you came along and found yourself in the same hospital waiting room as me," Mike said. 

"Well, maybe you can relate to being bisexual then. Means that you are attracted to both women and men. And there arent rules. You arent supposed to be attracted to men and women the same. You can feel attracted to more women than men but fancy your partner the same whether a man or a woman," Ben explained. Mike thought about this for a moment. "I know it sounds silly but the way I learned more about my sexuality and attraction was looking information up online, or you can ask me," Ben said. 

"Don't suppose you can tell me if Im bisexual or not," Mike smiled, laughing gently. 

"Unfortunately, no, but other questions?" Ben invited, standing up to get the apple tart from the oven and serve them both a slice with vanilla custard. 

"Lets say I am. Why did it take so long to find myself attracted to a man? Ive had crushes on girls since primary," Mike said, taking a piece of dessert happily. "Whoa, no wait. What? What is this? It is wonderful. I was not expecting it to taste like that," Mike said, delighted that Ben made this just for him. 

"Apple tarte tatin. Essentially just apples, butter, and sugar. Ive made dozens of them while i was in school, most of the classes I took were about classical French cuisine," Ben showed off, pleased that Mike enjoyed it so much. "But, in primary, you fancied a girl for the first time right?" To which Mike nodded. "Theres always got to be a first one. Maybe from now on you'll be finding yourself attracted to men a bit more often. But you've really never been attracted to men before? Not even celebrities?" 

"Do celebrities count?"

"What do you mean do celebrities count? Of course they do," Ben said, giggling. 

"But they're celebrities. Everyone finds them attractive," Mike said. 

"No. No, straight men are not legitimately attracted to male actors or singers or footballers," Ben argued. 

"Really? Well, then that means..... Wow," Mike said quietly. 

"Which celebrities?" Ben asked. 

"You know that bloke that acted in the Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean?"

"Orlando Bloom?"

"Yes, Orlando Bloom. He is proper fit," Mike said. "He was in the Three Musketeers this year wasn't he? With some other handsome bloke."

"Luke Evans?"

"Yeah! He's fit as well. Oh, Tom Hardy, hes been on the BBC a few times. And David Tennant, the tenth Doctor. So, I am attracted to blokes," Mike said reflecting on the many, many times he saw on a man on his TV or at the cinemas who struck his fancy. "I should have already known that," he said. 

"For a lot of gay men, their mates or whoever always say that they knew that their mate was gay even before he comes out. Because the way that you feel, seems natural to you, and youre talking about how attractive you think David Tennant is while your mates are saying 'yeah yeah ok sure' because they dont really find him attractive but they dont want to make it into a weird situation," Ben explained. 

"That... Wow, I'm pretty sure that is spot on," Mike said. "You're fit as well, Ben," he said. 

"I know I'm no Orlando Bloom," Ben replied, laughing. 

"Orlando Bloom didn't cook me the most amazing dinner and dessert that I've ever had, though," Mike said, holding Ben's hand when a blush crept up his chef's cheeks. "Thank you, Ben," he said, before leaning over to kiss him softly. He felt little pokes on his skin from Ben's 5'o clock shadow, he felt Ben's soft lips, and he thought to himself that he could really get used to kissing this man. "How am I going to tell people? My parents, my mates..." Mike said, leaning his forehead up against Ben's and holding his other hand now too, both of them shutting their eyes. 

"You don't need to tell them tomorrow," Ben said, squeezing Mike's hands. "You can take your time. No rush," he explained further, rubbing his nose against Mike's. 

"Can I tell you?" Mike whispered. 

"Yeah," Ben replied, so quiet it was almost inaudible. 

"Ben, I think I'm bisexual," Mike said after a long pause. Ben didn't say anything in response, only just squeezed Mike's hands. A few seconds later, Ben felt wetness on his cheeks and he just realized that Mike had started to weep silently. He felt his heart ache for him, knowing exactly what he was going through, how difficult it was to say those words out loud for the first time. Ben plopped down from the barstool and took two steps forward to wrap his arms around Mike tightly, and Mike reciprocated the embrace as well. Mike rubbed his face on Ben's shoulder to dry off his tears. "I dont know whats come over me, I dont know," Mike said quietly, bit of a quiver in his voice.

"Its okay, Mike. Promise, it's okay," Ben reassured him as he embraced him closely. Mike sniffled a couple times and after a long pause lifted his head from Ben's shoulder to kiss him slowly, then laid his head back down. "Life gets a lot better when you stop hiding," Ben whispered. "You dont need to come out to everyone yet, but you dont have to hide anything from me," he said before kissing the soft skin on Mike's neck. Mike closed his eyes and let himself feel love through the kisses on his neck and the caresses of his back. 

"Oh, Ben..." Mike began, voice back to normal now. "I dont even know what to say," he laughed softly. "Thank you for this... For everything," he said, kissing Ben back now. They kissed gently for a long moment before Ben pulled back slightly. 

"I dont know if its too soon to ask, but it feels like the right time. Are we a couple or not?" Ben asked quietly. Mike took a moment to consider the question, consider what it would be like to have a boyfriend, what it would be like to have Ben. 

"Of course we are," Mike said, rubbing his nose against Ben's. "But I dont think I'm ready to tell other people because... Just that-" 

"You dont have to explain yourself. I understand," Ben interrupted. "Whats important to me right now is that we know," he said. 

"Youre my boyfriend," Mike said, smiling, running his hands up Ben's sides.

"Yeah," Ben said, rubbing his thumbs on Mike's collarbone. "Im your boyfriend. You're mine," he said, before kissing him softly. 

"All yours," Mike whispered in between kisses. "Only yours," he said, standing up from his chair, not leaving Ben's lips. He turned them slightly to push Ben back against the counter as they kissed more passionately now. Mike ventured his hands down to Ben's arse and grabbed him there to lift him a few inches up so that he sat on the counter. Ben spread his legs to let Mike move between them so they were chest to chest, and Ben was now a slight bit taller. 

"You're so sexy," Ben remarked, heart beat racing from the moment his boyfriend squeezed his arse. They were both breathing hard now. "Are you ready for this?" Ben asked.

Mike wanted to say yes because seeing Ben's flushed and excited face made him feel so horny, but it also felt like taking this a step further was too much too fast. "I dont know," Mike said, securing his hands around Ben's hips. "I want to, but... Uhh, I don't want to give you blue balls," Mike said, unsure how he felt about doing more. 

"Its okay," Ben reassured him instantly. "Its okay. It doesnt matter. I just want to kiss you," Ben said, pulling him closer and kissing him passionately. Mike reciprocated, kissing Ben with his tongue. They had to pause every few seconds because their hearts were beating so fast and their breathing was so hard. But when they reconnected it was like they were trying to breathe each other in. Mike hadnt even noticed that he was pressing his fingers so deep into Ben's hips that he could bruise him. It made Ben so hot, feeling those thumbs press so strongly into his skin. He had to touch himself. "Lets go to the couch," he insisted once they had ended one kiss. "Lets just have a wank, youre making me so hot," Ben said in a whining voice. 

"Yeah, okay," Mike said quietly, moving back to give Ben room to get down from the counter. When he was, he grabbed his hand and walked to the couch. They sat down side by side and kissed more.

"Can I undress you?" Ben asked, breathing heavily. "You can say no," he said quickly, seeing the unsure look in Mike's eyes. "It's okay. I dont mind. We can just talk or watch the telly or whatever, I didnt mean to-" Ben was saying before Mike interrupted him by planting a wet kiss on his lips while sliding his hands under Ben's shirt to pull it off him. 

Ben returned the favor, taking Mike's shirt off and then eventually all the rest of their clothes were tossed aside. They started off wanking themselves when they came back to kiss each other. As they started breathing faster again, Ben left Mike's mouth in favor for his neck and shoulder. This finally gave Mike the opportunity just to look at Ben, with his chest heaving and his hair all disheveled. His eyes were drawn down to Ben's lap, where Ben's hand was moving quickly as he wanked himself. Everything about it was driving Mike crazy, from the feeling of Ben's lips on his skin to the view of Ben pleasuring himself. It made Mike's heart beat faster and made his cock fill with blood. He had no idea he would be this turned on, but damn was he glad to find out. 

Ben moved Mike's hand away and used his hands to wank both himself and Mike. He moved faster, encouraged by Mike's moaning. 

"Oh fuck that feels so good. I'm gonna cum," Mike said, throwing his head back and letting himself over to the feeling. Mike came first, cumming all over his own stomach and some on Ben's hand. Ben removed his hand when Mike was done, brought it to his mouth to lick Mike's cum. When Mike started biting his neck, Ben was done for. He came all over himself while moaning and whining. Mike thought it was so hot to watch Ben come undone like that. 

When they came back to their normal breathing, Ben stood to get some napkin from the kitchen. He handed one to Mike to clean himself up too. He wanted to say something, ask Mike if he enjoyed it, tell Mike that he really enjoyed it, but he didnt know how to get the words out. He started to worry that maybe the whole boyfriends thing was off and this was all Mike wanted when he started putting his clothes back on. He scurried to put his clothes on, not wanting to seem out of place. He was ready for Mike to say that he was leaving now. Instead, Mike just sat back down on the couch. He couldnt get a read on him. 

"That was really weird and nice," Mike said quietly, reimagining everything in in his head. On a level, he was still taking it all in. The fact that he now had a boyfriend for the first time was exciting and scary. The fact that his boyfriend just wanked him off to orgasm for the first time was exciting and scary. The fact that he is almost definitely bisexual was exciting and scary. And the fact that he was already falling in love with Ben so soon, that was just very exciting. 

"Did you like it?" Ben interrupted Mike's thought process with his burning question. He couldnt hold back. He had to know. 

"Yes," Mike replied immediately, unaware of what a total relief that confirmation was for Ben. "Yes, I really liked it, a lot," he said again, wondering why his boyfriend had sat so far away from him. He got closer and kissed him deeply, running his fingers through his hair, and Ben kissed back with his hands caressing Mike's neck and shoulders. "That was amazing," Mike said again, leaning his forehead against Ben's when his breathing ran out and he just couldnt kiss him any longer. 

"Bloody hell, Mike, you make me feel so good," Ben moaned as he laid there in his boyfriend's arms, then he flipped over so that he was facing the telly the same as Mike, though still warmly cuddled up against him. 

Ben flipped the tv on. A Doctor Who rerun was on the BBC. David Tennant. They watched two of them together then said their goodbyes before Mike headed off back home. As soon as they left each other, they missed each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading! Happy almost weekend!


	4. My hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Barry says that I kissed him one evening," Mike said, laughing. 
> 
> "What? You told me that you've never kissed another man before," Ben replied, shocked at the revelation, but definitely not mad or upset.
> 
> "Well, you're definitely the first that I remember. I got very, very drunk the night the alleged kiss happened. I still think Barry's taking the piss out of me because I'm almost sure that I did not kiss him. I know I was in the closet back then, but regardless, Barry is just not my type," Mike admitted honestly and laughed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of this chapter features descriptions of sexual acts.

"We should really get to know each other more," Ben said before sticking his fork in his mouth. He had prepared them dinner again, which Mike felt slightly bad for because Ben had just cooked last night, and if it wasn't for the many reassurances that Ben absolutely loves cooking, then maybe Mike would have still felt bad eating his food. But it was delicious. Morroccan Beef Tagine. Something Mike never tried before but really liked. Seemed like every moment with Ben was spent discovering something new that Mike liked. 

"I agree," Mike said. Not for a lack of feeling comfortable with each other because Ben had done plenty of that last night and had Mike open up more than he has to anyone before, but despite that, they really didnt know much about each other. "Tell me a great story you have," Mike smiled. 

"Oh... Over a summer while I was at uni, I worked for a catering company. One time, we were serving afternoon tea at the National Gallery and I learned that someone very special was the guest of honor that afternoon," Ben began to say, pausing for dramatic effect. 

"Who was it?" Mike asked with bright, intrigued eyes. 

"It was Her Majesty..." Ben whispered and pursed his lips like he had a dirty secret. 

"You're taking the piss... No... Ben, you cooked for the Queen?" Mike replied slowly, astonished. 

"Yes," he said. "I made her one savory. A Yorkshire pudding with roast beef and gravy. The rest of the team made everything else," he explained. 

"Okay... so, so what? Did you see her? Or meet her? Did you ask what she thought of your pudding?" Mike continued asking enthusiastically. 

"I saw her but I wasn't given the opportunity to meet with her. She met with some donors to the Gallery and she was there for the unveilment of a portrait of her and her corgis. When her plate returned to the kitchen it was clean, so I think its safe to say she did like it," Ben explained with a smile on his face. 

"Wow... I must be terrible company if you've cooked for the Queen before, mate," Mike laughed, still astounded but he knew that Ben wouldn't lie to him. He also knew Ben was a damn good enough chef to get a job like that. 

"No, of course, not. This is the first time I'm cooking for a king," Ben said quietly looking down at his plate and putting another forkful in his mouth. 

"My god, you're quite the charmer," Mike said, leaning back with his hand on his chest. "You're coming for my heart, you are," he said, smiling, feeling it beat faster inside his chest. 

Ben smiled, "tell me one of your great stories then."

"I don't know if I could top that one, Ben. My life is rather boring," Mike replied. 

"I don't care how boring it is. I just want to get to know you. What was the best day of your life?" Ben asked. 

"Well, I once went to see The Foo Fighters live in show. I think that was the most exciting day of my life. I was only 17 so I had asked my mum and dad for some money, also saved up some of my own from working at a grocery. I got first row tickets and made a little sign to bring with me to the show that said 'Dave & Chris' who are the singer and guitarist 'Let me play the bridge for My Hero'. So, Chris saw it and he had a bodyguard pull me up on the stage in the middle of My Hero. He gave me his guitar and asked me to play it. This was the song that I played every day practicing the guitar. I could probably play it in my sleep. So, I played it and everyone in the crowd was cheering and clapping. Then Chris and Dave gave me hug when the song was over and I got back down to the crowd for the rest of the show. Afterwards, Chris gave me one of his guitar picks. I still have it. It was the best day of my life," Mike recounted, smiling and moving his hands as he told the story. Ben couldn't help thinking how cute it was that he still got so excited thinking about that day. 

"Where was this? How many people were there?" Ben asked curiously with a smile on his face too. 

"It was at the O2. So about twenty thousand people in attendance. It was mental. I didn't think it would really happen when I wrote the sign," Mike said fondly. 

"That's incredible. You performed in front of 20 thousand people... You must have really looked like a rockstar," Ben commented. 

"Yeah. I went with an ex girlfriend of mine who would accuse me of fancying Dave Grohl, which I would vehemently deny like 'no, he's just so inspiring and a great guitarist and a singer and I wanna be like him someday.' Which is the truth, but I also did and do fancy him. But the point is, she was really into me after that. Said I looked very attractive playing Chris's guitar with the Foo Fighters," Mike laughed. 

"I'm absolutely sure you did," Ben smiled. "Why did you break up with her?" He asked curiously. 

"I didn't. She broke up with me," Mike laughed more. 

"Why would she do that?" Ben asked, sounding offended. 

"Yeah, she went to uni, one different from mine, and found someone else," he explained. 

"Did she cheat on you?" Ben asked now in a more serious tone. 

"Maybe. I think so. But she said that she hadn't done anything with this guy before she called to break up with me," Mike said. 

"She broke up with you through a phone call?" Ben asked in a high pitched voice, now angry. "What a bitch," he said. 

"No, she's fine. People grow apart. I don't want to be with her, anyway," Mike said to state the obvious. 

"Of course not. The least she could have done is had the decency to tell you to your face. I can't believe that she would do that to you. You deserved better," Ben said angrily. 

"You're sweet, Ben," Mike said quietly, smiling and feeling quite flattered by how protective Ben was of him. "Admittedly, I did not give her as much attention as I probably should have when we were long-distance. I mostly spent my first year at uni drunk," Mike said. 

"Really?" Ben asked inquisitively. 

"Yeah. Freedom, independence, and all that. I had to quit for a year because I really was drinking too much. But after that, I just learned to stop over-doing it," Mike explained. 

"Did you see someone else too when you broke up with..." Ben started to ask. 

"Camila. And, yeah. I hooked up with a some girls and had a really short fling with someone else. Barry says that I kissed him one evening," Mike said, laughing. 

"What? You told me that you've never kissed another man before," Ben replied, shocked at the revelation, but definitely not mad or upset.

"Well, you're definitely the first that I remember. I got very, very drunk the night the alleged kiss happened. I still think Barry's taking the piss out of me because I'm almost sure that I did not kiss him. I know I was in the closet back then, but regardless, Barry is just not my type," Mike admitted honestly and laughed. "Listen, I've got a question for you. When you asked me out that night I asked you for cooking lessons, did you think I was gay? Why did you ask?" Mike asked. 

"Because I fancied you. I thought you were so charming from the time we met in the waiting room at the hospital. Then you talked with me through the night in our hospital room and you, you gave me your number when I left you at yours the next day. I thought I had a reasonable chance. And I definitely knew I did when you said yes and kissed me three times that same night before going on any dates. Straight men don't do that," Ben laughed. 

"I did kiss you three times before we officially went on our first date, didn't I?" Mike asked, recalling it fondly. "It was really nice... It felt like something that was a long way coming, you know? You're an incredible snogger, Benjamin Ebbrell," Mike grinned as he reached out to hold Ben's hands in his. 

"Thank you," Ben giggled. "You are too, love," he said. "So, you haven't been in a serious relationship since Camila?" 

"Yeah. And she's the only serious relationship I've ever had. We dated for two years through sixth form, I lost my virginity to her, and I thought I loved her but I never told her. We broke up less than halfway our first years in uni. She's a great girl, just not the girl for me. I've always been really creative, into music and photography, art and all that. Whenever I did any of it for her, play her songs on my guitar or take photos of her, she would think it's really attractive and romantic or whatever. When I did it for myself, just because I love it, she would think I was being lazy. I didn't get great grades in maths, science, history, because I didn't apply myself because I didn't want to. I knew that wasn't what I wanted to do with my life. So I just passed my A Levels. In contrast, she was near the top of the class every time. Always offered to help me with grades, I always declined. She got into Cambridge University. Which is amazing for her. She'll probably become a doctor or a professor or something. But she always made me feel ashamed for not being as ambitious as her. She would tell me that I have to pick a different career path because I'll never pay the bills playing songs at bars. Even my parents are more supportive of me and my career choices than she ever was," Mike explained. 

"Well, you're doing quite well if you can afford your own flat in North London," Ben replied. 

"Barry and I were thinking of sharing a flat in Central because we have to travel for almost every job we get. Not doing well enough for that," Mike laughed. 

"Maybe some day. You're very talented, Mike. People will pay good amount for those photos," Ben said. 

"Well, thank you," Mike said, slightly blushing. "That relationship you had with that boy when you were 13, was it serious?" Mike asked curiously. 

"Um... Yeah. Yeah, I would say so. I mean, he was my first for everything. Kiss, shag, all of it. We saw each other secretly for almost two years. It was really heartbreaking if I'm being honest. I got very attached to him, Jamie, very quickly and I had so many feelings for him that he did not have for me. He liked messing around with me, he liked that I really liked him, and I think he cared for me deep down, but on the surface, he didnt show it. I think he was very ashamed that he was seeing me. He always kept it a secret, even after a really long time and he pressured me to keep it a secret after I told him I wanted to come out to my mum and dad. He refused to stop seeing his girlfriend even after I asked him if it could be just us because I knew that he wasnt very happy with her, but he just wanted to keep up the appearance that he was straight. I dont know why I stayed with him for so long... I guess its just because he made me feel like I was desirable and likable. Eventually, his treatment of me really started weighing me down, and I stopped seeing him. He didnt try to make amends or try to recover our relationship. He just let me go. I never saw him again after he started sixth form at another school," Ben said, becoming more and more somber as he relived those memories. 

Mike responded empathetically, reaching out to hold Ben's hand with a frown on his face. "Oh, Ben... You deserve much better than that..." he said quietly, rubbing his thumb back and forth over Ben's hand and bringing it to his lips so he could kiss him. 

"Yeah, but you have to experience things to learn from them. And I learned a lot from that. My relationship with Alex was much better, at least emotionally," Ben responded. 

"So, why did your relationship with Alex end?" Mike asked. 

"Well, we got together because we were the only gay boys in my school and we wanted to be in a relationship, though not necessarily with each other. He was sweet and kind. And a nice companion. I very much like just spending time with someone, like this. I like just talking and being able to be myself and to trust and confide in someone. We ticked all those boxes for each other. The problem was that sex was just very... unsatisfying," Ben sighed. "We liked the same things. We both liked bottoming, so we had to switch," Ben was saying then Mike interrupted. 

"What does any of that mean?" Mike asked with an awkward laugh. 

Ben grinned, then remembering that Mike had never done any of this before. "We both liked taking it in the arse. But it's just the two of us so we can't both take it at the same time. We had to take turns. It wasn't great. I couldn't satisfy him and he couldn't satisfy me. I wanted someone who was a little rough, who made me feel something, and he was just very gentle. I tried to be more rough with him, because that's what he wanted too, but..." Ben started to say and then trailed off not knowing the best way to explain this at this stage. 

"But what?" Mike asked curiously. 

"But I," and then Ben started giggling. "Okay, you know this already. I have a small cock. I have small feet, I can't grow a full beard. I have a small cock. That's why I prefer to be the bottom!" Ben said, and then they both started laughing. 

"Oh, it's not that small," Mike commented, thinking again about how sexy Ben looked sitting next to him wanking himself last night. He felt a rush of blood to his cock. 

"Well, you didn't touch my cock. I touched yours, and it is definitely bigger than mine," Ben replied, and Mike could tell he was clearly thinking of the same thing because Ben stuck his tongue out to lick his lips. 

"Is it?" Mike asked quietly, watching Ben's tongue. Ben couldn't hold himself back, instead of answering he leaned into Mike and kissed him with a passion that Mike had not felt for a very long time. He felt short of breath from just that one kiss. 

"I don't know. Think I should check again to make sure?" Ben said cheekily once they pulled back. Mike felt his heart race in that moment with such intense feeling of desire and of being desired. Mike smiled as he leaned in this time to capture Ben's mouth with a kiss as he laid his hands on Ben's hips. Ben brought his hands up to caress Mike's neck and shoulders. 

Mike tried to keep up with Ben's pace, but was finding himself running out of breath. Thankfully, Ben recognized this and moved southward from Mike's mouth to allow him some deep breaths. Instead, Ben attached his lips to Mike's neck and collarbone, feeling such intense emotions that he didnt care he was acting like a teenage boy, leaving marks on Mike's skin, all he could think about was tasting every inch of him. He was spurred on by Mike's soft gasps and moans. 

"Goodness, Ben," Mike said, still breathless, caressing the back of Ben's head while he nibbled on him. "You're amazing. Just phenome-" Mike was cut off by the return of Ben's mouth on his, although it was just a peck. 

"Let's go to the living room," Ben asked, or more so commanded. He took Mike by the hand and led him there, then sat on his lap after Mike sat down on the couch. Quickly, their lips were reunited, now they both were running their hands everywhere. Ben decided he enjoyed the taste of Mike's neck and started back again there. As Ben familiarized himself there, Mike slid his hands under Ben's shirt to caress his back. After some seconds there on Mike's neck, Ben came back to his mouth, but now added something new. When Ben began rocking his hips into Mike's pelvis, he felt for the first time Mike's growing erection. 

The contact felt so incredible that Mike had to let out some mix of a moan and a whimper. "Oh, fuck, Ben," Mike cried, pushing Ben up against himself with a hand on his lower back. Ben couldn't wait longer to take off both their shirts, he would have taken trousers off as well but instead he chose to return to Mike's mouth. "Wait, wait, wait," Mike said breathlessly. Ben was breathing very heavily once he pulled away. "This is... Uh, overwhelming," Mike said. 

"Do you want to stop?" Ben asked, trying to hide disappointment in his tone. 

"It feels too amazing to stop," Mike said, "but I.... I don't know what I'm doing."

"We're not doing anything unfamiliar, Mike. We're just snogging... Touching... Nothing more, yet," Ben replied, moving his hands up and down Mike's chest, silently begging him to stop over thinking things. Mike made the move to begin kissing again, then lifted his arms around Ben's back and pulled him closer. Ben once again rocked his hips into Mike's, sparking intense pleasure in them both. "Can I touch you, Mike, please?" Ben said while he held a hand close to Mike's erection. 

"Yes, yes..." Mike moaned, eyelids too heavy to look Ben in the eyes but consenting nonetheless. Ben's hands took quick action to undo the zipper on Mike's trousers and then pull his pants out of the way. Before touching him, Ben raised a hand to his own mouth and spit. Once Ben had placed that hand on Mike's cock, Mike's head felt like it was floating. He had the urge to speak, repeating the word "yes" over and over quite enthusiastically. Ben watched Mike grow larger and redder in the palm of his hand while Mike moaned. 

"I want to suck you off," Ben whispered in Mike's ear, while not letting off the stroke of his hand. "May I?"

"Please... Oh, Ben, you feel incredible. Please, please, do it," Mike begged. Immediately, Ben went down on his knees in front of Mike and pulled his trousers and pants further down. Mike watched Ben the entire time, heart pounding. Once Mike's clothing was out of the way, Ben didn't hesitate to put his mouth around the tip of Mike's cock first, then steadying himself to fit more of his cock inside before pulling back and doing it over again. The girth of Mike's cock stretched Ben's mouth and made his cock hard. His heart was racing and all he thought of was getting Mike to cum. He stretched his jaw to fit all of him inside and fondled his bollocks with his left hand. Trying everything to get Mike closer. Mike's hands felt drawn in that moment to the back of Ben's head. 

Mike soon felt close to orgasm and told Ben so. He took a few more seconds to free Mike's cock from his mouth and used his hands to finish him. Ben stroked up and down as fast as he could, relishing in Mike's quick breaths and moans as he neared orgasm. Ben readied himself by holding his mouth open next to the tip of Mike's cock. In seconds, Mike was ejaculating over Ben face, his cheeks and nose, even eyebrows, and some inside his mouth. Ben gently licked the tip one last time before letting go of Mike, but remaining on his knees. 

Once Mike reopened his eyes, he was mesmerized by the look of Ben with his semen covering his face. Mike moved his hand to Ben's cheek, touching his own semen with his thumb and gently putting his thumb in Ben's open mouth. Ben gladly sucked the cum off of Mike's thumb. Then Mike wiped more off with his pointer and middle finger and Ben sucked those fingers too. Mike sighed, pulling on Ben's hand to tell him to get off his knees. Ben sat down next to Mike and they kissed again, more lazy and slow this time. 

"You're messy," Mike said, once his breath finally returned, admiring the cum still clinging onto Ben's eyebrow and chin. 

"I like being messy," Ben said before giving Mike another kiss. 

"You're gorgeous like this. You're just gorgeous," Mike said after a few lazy kisses while he put his cock back in his pants and zipped himself up. "I've never done this or anything like it before..." Mike whispered, glancing down at the tent Ben's trousers. 

"I won't pressure you," Ben said, before kissing Mike some more on his mouth and his neck. As Ben unbuttoned his trousers, Mike took to leaving his own love marks on Ben's soft skin. Ben once again spit in his hand and started wanking himself. Mike then took Ben's mouth and kissed him deeply, he tasted the salt on his tongue, and bit his red lips. Almost every part of Ben had turned red, blushes were creeping up on his cheeks, his chest, and his cock. Mike slowed down to watch Ben wank himself, taken by the visual. 

"You're bloody perfect, Ben," Mike said, returning now to kissing and licking Ben's blushing pink ears. "If you could see yourself now," he whispered. "You're the sexiest thing that has ever existed," he said, moving his hand on the front of Ben's torso. The praise was making Ben so hot. Combined with Mike's lips on his ear, and his hand just above his pelvis, Ben felt about ready to explode into little pieces, each one made just for Mike's pleasure. He felt the rumble in his lower stomach where Mike was petting him. 

"Keep going," Ben managed to say despite his impossibly short breaths. 

"I'm going to fuck you good, one day, Ben. I'll make you scream and you'll take my cock like the good boy you are. Bloody perfect, Ben. You're gorgeous, covered in my spunk, and yours," Mike whispered. By the end, Ben was cumming hard, his eyes shut tight, riding waves of pleasure as Mike continued kissing and biting his neck. He took several deep breaths when he stopped ejaculating. "That was incredible, Ben. You're incredible," Mike said, standing up to get Ben a tissue, though feeling tired as well.

Ben took the tissue, wiped his face with it, and tossed it on the coffee table. He turned to kiss Mike with a hand on his chest. Mike grabbed his face and kissed him more when Ben turned away. At the end, Ben moved up against Mike's side, moving his arm around him, and laying his cheek on Mike's shoulder. "We crossed the cock bridge then," Mike smirked, putting his arm around Ben's shoulders and squeezing him. Ben laughed, rubbing Mike's side. 

"Yes, we crossed the cock bridge," Ben repeated, still laughing. "Still got one more bridge to cross."

"What is that?" Mike asked as he laid his head down on top of Ben's. 

"The bum bridge," Ben said. 

Mike started laughing, then kissed Ben's hair. Ben lifted his head to kiss Mike on the mouth, then laid his head back down. "You're naughty, Benjamin. Making me cum on your face. Telling me to praise you..." Mike said. 

"You liked it," Ben replied, kissing Mike on his chest. 

"Of course I did, that was proper sexy," Mike said. "Well, how was I?" Mike asked, almost nervous to hear the answer.

"You were incredible, Mike," Ben said, lifting his head to look him in the eyes. Mike thought he looked adorable with his big eyes. 

"I didn't really do much," Mike said, smiling, flattered by the compliment. 

"You didn't have to," Ben said, kissing him again. 

"I'm so glad I met you," Mike smiled, wishing he could get even closer to Ben, envelop him with his whole body as if they were not two, but one. Ben's eyes welled up and he laid his head back down so Mike couldn't see him. "Are you-"

"No," Ben interrupted, voice clearly shaking. "I'm glad I met you as well," he said. 

"You're perfect, Benjamin Ebberell," Mike said, lifting his head up and kissing him deeply. "Would you like to go to bed with me?" The pair went off to Mike's bedroom, stripped down to their pants and went into bed. Honestly, Ben was not sleepy, but would he pass up an invitation to Mike's bed? Of course, not. Mike kissed him softly. 

"I'm not tired," Ben said, with his hands resting on Mike's shoulders, thumbs rubbing his collarbones, legs snuggled up to legs. 

"Aren't you? Would you like me to sing you a lullaby?" Mike smiled sarcastically. 

"Sure, why don't you?" Ben replied sarcastically, rubbing his hands up and down Mike's chest, looking into his eyes in the dimmed light of the moon and city lights coming through Mike's windows. He closed the gap and kissed him deeply, just because he wanted to. Mike returned the kiss, putting his arms around Ben's back. 

"I don't think I'm ready to cross any more bridges," Mike said. It made Ben disappointed, honestly, but he had to be patient because he cared for Mike deeply, and this was all new for him. 

"Did you like it?" Ben asked. 

"You were amazing, Ben. I want to ask you to do it again, but it doesn't feel right that I'm not giving you anything in return," Mike said.

"It doesn't matter," Ben said, giving Mike a kiss. "I want to feel you in my mouth. I want to suck you off."

"Have I told you you're amazing?" Mike asked before being kissed again, then again, and again. Ben put his hand inside Mike's pants and started rubbing him. "How lucky am I to get you into my bed?" Ben started kissing him down his neck, his chest, his stomach, his pelvis, all the way down to his cock. Mike's hand immediately went to the back of Ben's head to pull his hair and push him further down. Mike's hands made Ben so hot that he had to pull his pants down and wank himself while he sucked him. This time Ben swallowed Mike's whole cock, till his nose was pressed up against Mike's pelvic bone. He stayed down there for a second before going back up, then he swallowed his cock again and again. Ben thought he couldn't wait to put Mike's cock inside his arse if holding it in his mouth felt this good. 

"Fuck, Ben. That's so good. You take my whole cock inside your mouth. Let me fuck you, stop," Mike said, grabbing Ben's head more forcefully now to stop him from going down. Instead, Mike slowly started lifting his hips off the bed and thrusting in Ben's mouth. After a few times, Mike began picking up the pace shouting all sorts of expletives, sounds of pleasure, and Ben's name. As far as sex, this physically felt like nothing he had not done before, except for how much hotter it got him. The fact that he was doing this with Ben just enhanced the feeling so intensely. 

"Oh, god." Mike said, laying back down and loosening his grip on Ben's head. Ben complied enthusiastically, once again taking Mike's cock deep into his throat. He could tell when Mike was getting close because he started moaning more, less able to string together words. Ben wanked himself faster, wanting to reach that point with Mike. And he did. As soon as he felt Mike's cum in his mouth, Ben blew his load all over Mike's sheets. Mike's hands came away from Ben's head, outstretched as Mike moaned through the orgasm. When he opened his eyes, Ben was by his side. Immediately, he grabbed his face and kissed him, tasted the saltiness of his cum inside Ben's mouth. He pulled back and put two fingers in Ben's mouth to touch his cum, as he pulled them out Ben's saliva and his cum clung between Mike's fingers and Ben's mouth. Mike wiped his fingers on Ben's face, spreading his cum all around him. 

"I can't wait for you to cum in my arse," Ben said, closing his eyes as Mike dirtied him up. "I love feeling your cum in me," he said, just when Mike put his fingers back in his mouth. He sucked Mike's fingers one last time before Mike moved his hands to Ben's lower back and kissed him passionately. 

"You're such a dirty boy, Ben. You've got to teach me how to suck your cock like that," Mike said, once they ran out of air and had to pull back. 

"It's easy when you've got such a nice cock to suck," Ben said. 

"Oh, Ben," Mike said, caressing Ben's back. "You're amazing, just amazing," he said before kissing him softly. "Did you cum?"

"On your sheets," Ben said apologetically. 

"I'll clean them tomorrow," Mike said. "How do you make me feel things I never have before?" Mike asked quietly after a pregnant pause. Ben responded with a few soft kisses. In less than a minute, both men drifted off into sleep while they held each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading!!


	5. blue eyes part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike offered his camera over with a smile. A fucking smile. He looked happier than many of the people in these wedding photos. Barry was entirely at a loss to explain why. 
> 
> He took the camera and popped the SD card out and into his laptop, then waited for the computer to read them. In a few seconds, all the pictures popped up. Something was off about the most recent one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter featuring Barry Taylor woohoo!

Mike awoke in the morning to a still sleeping Ben. So he took in the view. Ben was the kind of man who really took care of his hair, parted it the same way every time, always combed. In the early morning light peeking through the window blinds, Mike saw strands of hair going every which way atop Ben's head. He saw long eyelashes, soft lips, even thicker stubble than yesterday. He didn't want to disturb Ben's sleep but he wanted to touch him, to hold him, to feel every inch of skin under his fingertips just to know what it felt like. 

But he held off, thinking to himself that he was too beautiful to disturb and that just soaking the beauty in with his eyes was enough for now. He thought of how he could imagine himself here tomorrow, as well as the day after that, and after that until eternity. He thought of how different this was from the end that he imagined himself having. He thought of how satisfying this end, or rather, this beginning, was irregardless of his expectations. He thought of how Ben was better than anyone he could ever dream of having. He thought of how Ben held him two nights ago when he started weeping, and just the thought could have started him weeping again, because he's never felt such intimacy, so cared for, so loved by another before. He thought of how he could make Ben feel the same. He thought he could try for hours, months, or centuries to make Ben feel that love and never achieve it because, he thought, that feeling he had in that moment was unmatched to any other feeling he had ever had. 

So he let his eyes drift downward, over the plains of Ben's neck and the valleys above his collarbones. He was surprised by his upper arms, more toned and muscular than they appear when covered with shirt sleeves. Now he couldn't stop himself, he reached across Ben's chest and put his hand on his forearm. Ben had put his left arm behind his head. Mike caressed the soft skin and touched the firm muscle there, rubbing his thumb back and forth. He wished to pull the blanket down, reveal more of Ben's chest. But alas, Ben had been stirred awake by the hand on his bicep. He blinked a few times, slowly remembering that he had found himself in Mike's bed last night, that that was Mike feeling up his bicep, that was Mike's head lying next to his. "Good morning," Ben said, smiling and stretching out his left arm.

"You are so handsome," Mike said, continuing his caress of Ben's arms, delighted at how the muscle flexed under his fingertips when Ben stretched. Ben moaned, then turned to lie on his side facing Mike. Mike moved his hand from Ben's arm to his chest under the blanket. 

"You're more handsome," Ben replied, putting his arm down to Mike's waist. 

"No, mate," Mike said, stroking Ben's chest hairs. "I don't even compare," he whispered. Then Ben took his wrist away and nudged his arm to have Mike lay down on his back, then moved the blanket out of the way. Ben then lifted himself up to straddle Mike, knees on either side of his legs, chest flush against his, hands embracing his neck. Mike felt Ben's cock and bollocks lying against his stomach, felt a rush of blood from the close contact.

"I could collapse into those blue eyes..." Ben said, rubbing his thumb on Mike's jawline, and staring into his eyes. Mike wrapped his arms around Ben's sides and rubbed his back up and down. He shut his eyes after a few seconds when Ben touched his bottom lip with his thumb and leaned down to kiss him deeply. They kissed for a long while before Ben lifted himself off of Mike, lying back down on the bed on his chest, still very close, still with his arm on Mike's chest. "I should probably be going soon," Ben said sadly. 

"Don't go," Mike said instantly. "Please," he whispered. 

"It's Monday. I have to teach class at 10 am," Ben replied, rubbing circles with his thumbs into Mike's chest hair. 

"Cancel it," Mike begged. 

"You don't have some photos to edit today?" Ben asked quietly. 

"I'll cancel them too," Mike answered. 

"You come over to mine tonight for dinner," Ben said. 

"I want to take a photo, before you go," Mike said, to which Ben said okay and started to turn around. "No, you stay right there," Mike said, using a firm hand to push Ben back to the same position on his bed. Mike stood and walked over to his dresser where he had left his camera. He stood at the foot of his bed, bringing the camera up to his eye and framing the photo just how he wanted. Ben laid still quietly. Mike snapped a picture, then stepped back to admire the beauty of Ben's body. The curve of his back, the softness of his bum, the tone of his legs. 

"Come look," Mike invited. Ben stood, stretched a little, then walked over to Mike. He peered at the thumbnail image on the camera's screen. "You're beautiful," Mike said, making Ben's heart skip a beat. He kissed him yet again, for a long few seconds, before turning to gather his clothes from the night before and put them back on. They said their goodbyes, kissed some more, and promised to see each other tonight before Ben headed out back home. 

\---

Barry started suspecting something when Mike didn't exhibit an ounce of stress during work. They were working from Barry's flat today and had about 400 wedding photos to edit by the end of the next day, only been through half of them. Barry was about ripping his hair out, stressed over how many edits the couple had asked for - "make sure that you get rid of any fly away hairs" "if you could make us look slimmer in the first dance photos especially that would be lovely" "if you took any pictures with my cousin Tina in the background, crop her out, because we don't want her in the photos." Yeah, he was nearly ready to call the couple and tell them that their photos would not be ready by tomorrow. 

Mike, though, was cool as a cucumber. He just went along editing each photo. Said to Barry he was sure that it would get done in time and he needn't worry the couple yet. Didn't join Barry in his bitching - "if she didn't want her cousin in the photos then why invite her in the first place? Just to show off? Is she really that vain?" 

No, Mike was happy. The kind of happy where nothing and nobody can take an ounce of your happiness away. Barry was nearly sure that he must have been laid recently, but Mike usually always tell him of the girls that he meets out or online sometimes too. So, he didnt know what to think about this mood of Mike's. Though he supposed it was better that only one of them was a pile of nerves and frustration rather than them both. 

"Alright, I can't keep staring at this woman's decaying grandmother anymore," Barry complained, tired of trying to smooth out her wrinkles as best he could without just smudging her entire face. 

"I've got about 30 or 40 pictures of the siblings, nieces, and nephews that I haven't gotten to yet on my camera. You can work on those instead," Mike offered, handing his camera over with a smile. A fucking smile. He looked happier than many of the people in these wedding photos. Barry was entirely at a loss to explain why. 

He took the camera and popped the SD card out and into his laptop, then waited for the computer to read them. In a few seconds, all the pictures popped up. Something was off about the most recent one. Barry had to gasp. 

It was... A man. In what appeared to be Mike's bedroom, in Mike's bed. Laying on his stomach, naked. Bare, white bum at the center of the picture. 

"What?" Mike asked, looking up from his work over at Barry, wondering why he made that noise. 

"Um, nothing. Just, uh... Almost run out of battery," Barry quickly thought of an excuse, reaching out for the power cord that laid on the floor in front of him. His laptop was on a 75% charge. He couldn't tell who this could possibly be as his face was in a pillow and not in view. It felt like a violation of privacy for him to keep looking any longer. Clearly, Mike meant to use a different camera than the one he used for work to take this photo. He selected a group of wedding photos and downloaded them onto his computer. Before putting the SD card back in and handing the camera back, he deleted the risque photo. Obviously, Mike hadn't opened his camera files since he took it and didnt know it was there with a bunch of photos he took at the wedding last week. Barry didnt want Mike to find it there and realize that he must have seen it too when Mike gave him the camera. And he certainly was not going to ask Mike about it. 

"Here you go," Barry mumbled as he returned the camera. He silently carried on with editing more photos. Increasing the brightness here. Messing with the contrast there. Adding filters every once in a while. But he couldnt stop thinking of the photo. He definitely knew now why Mike had been so happy and relaxed recently. And yeah, it was a good look on him. It wasnt the most unexpected thing in the universe. After all, Mike had kissed him drunk once before. Sure it was just for laughs and Mike doesnt even remember. But he has also heard Mike go on about how attractive that actor from Pirates of the Caribbean is. He's heard him bang on about how much he loves and admires those guys in the Foo Fighters and Green Day and all the Arsenal players. 

But he wondered how long Mike had been keeping this, the fact that he was with someone, a secret. A man. A real man. Barry might have even thought about saying something like - "hey Mike, you know we're mates no matter what, right?" But that felt uncomfortable and like putting Mike on the spot. He supposed that Mike would tell him eventually? He wondered when. He wondered why Mike hadnt introduced him to this fellow. Then he put two and two together. 

Mike had introduced him to someone. Someone who apparently met with Mike at his flat before coming to the pub together. Someone who Mike was leaning his shoulder on for an entire night. Someone who bought drinks for Mike. Someone who got food for the whole table, apparently to impress Mike and his mates. Someone who Mike stayed with at the pub even after Barry and Jamie retired for the night. Someone who might have had a very similar haircut and body shape as the fellow in Mike's camera roll. 

"Hey, Mike... That guy you met at the hospital," Barry said, and Mike immediately interrupted him. 

"Ben," he said, happiness in his tone just as it had been all day. "Yeah, what of him?" He asked after clearing his throat, apparently self conscious at how eager he sounded. 

"Yeah, he should come back out to the pub with us Friday night... He seems like a nice bloke," Barry said, trying hard not to lead on like he knew more. Mike was completely oblivious still. 

"Yeah, definitely!" Mike said enthusiastically. "I mean, yeah, I'll ask him, sure," he said after, again, taking his tone down a notch. Barry nodded and got back to editing. Barry knew what kind of trouble making assumptions usually got people in. But he was nearly sure now that Mike had started sleeping with this guy, Ben. Unless Ben was paying him to take risque photos. Barry thought that couldn't be right. It can't explain why that photo was taken in Mike's bedroom or why Mike has been so happy as of late. No. It seemed like his best mate, Michael Henry Huttlestone, had a boyfriend. 'Good for him,' Barry thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! More sexy timez coming next chapter lol


	6. blue eyes part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you think you ever felt that way for a boy deep inside, but you just never really let yourself feel it?" Ben asked. 
> 
> "Blimey, I don't know..." Mike trailed off as he leaned back and thought about the question. "Maybe, but no one is coming to mind. I think you're my first Ebbers," Mike said. 
> 
> "Ebbers," Ben repeated, with a giggle. 
> 
> "You have a bloody adorable laugh. I love it when you do that. I've gotta get funnier so you can do that more often," Mike said with a big smile as Ben giggled some more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So warning for sexually explicit scenes ahead. Some of the more kinky things explored here is wax play and choking. Basically it continues to the end of the chapter so if you don't like to read that feel free to skip the rest once you get to beginning of it and you won't miss any of the plot. Enjoy!

Ben was practically dancing around the kitchen as he made dinner for himself and his boyfriend. Tonight, he was making homemade tortellini, and cutting circles out of his rolled out pasta dough when he heard a knock. As soon as he opened the door, he felt his boyfriend's lips on his. Ben smiled into the kiss, wrapping an arm around Mike's neck and the other around his waist, and then kissed him some more. Mike chased his mouth and pulled him closer by the hips when Ben tried escaping. "Love, I have to cook dinner," Ben said, giggling in between kisses and turning to the kitchen when Mike let him go. 

"I've really missed you," Mike said as he took off his scarf and coat and left them on the hooks near the door. Ben's heart skipped a beat as he heard that. "Baz and I were working on some photographs today. He wondered if you would like to come out to a pub with us again this Friday," Mike said as he walked on over to the kitchen and saw Ben cutting circles from some pasta dough. 

"Really? So he likes me?" Ben asked, more than excited that Mike's mate was liking him and asking to spend time together. 

"Of course, he likes you! You're funny and charming and gave him free food," Mike laughed, joining Ben on his side of the counter. "How can I help?" He asked. 

"Well, wash your hands first," Ben instructed, then waited for Mike to get done. "Alright, here we go. Take this spoon, grab some filling, and put it just above the center of the circle like this. Then fold the circle in half and crimp the edges with your finger. Now pick it up and wrap the tortellini around your finger to make ring shaped pieces," Ben explained slowly, doing every step as he went along.

Mike followed suit, when he had the finished piece wrapped on his finger, he turned to Ben and said, "will you marry me?" With a big smile on his face. 

Ben giggled in response, feeling his heart beat soar at the question. "You're going to have to give me more than a tortellini ring, love," Ben played along. 

"Alright, I'll ask you again when I figure something more out," Mike joked, smiling as he continued on forming the rest of the pasta. Ben let him do the rest while he started working on the sauce, chopped up a bunch of mushroom and fried them in hot butter before adding a bunch of wine, cream and cheese. 

"I should really introduce you to my mate, James. We were mates when he started studying at the institute, I was in my second year, so he is still a student. But he already knows about you, I've probably talked his ear off about you," Ben said while he was cooking off the sauce. 

"So he knows already that I'm your boyfriend?" Mike asked just as he got to his last two tortellini.

"Yeah... Um, should I not have told him?" Ben asked carefully. 

"No, yeah, you can tell your mates. It would be nice to meet him and be open about us too. When I can meet him?" Mike asked. Ben first instructed Mike to drop all the tortellini in a pot of boiling water he had already on the hob, then he transferred them to the sauce when done. 

"There's a reception this coming Thursday at the school, we're having dinner with some of the donors and alumni. You can be my plus one if you like," Ben offered. 

"I would love to," Mike said, turning Ben's head to kiss him as he was coating the tortellini in the sauce. Ben smiled and kissed him back before shutting off the hob. He began to plate up both their dishes. 

"I was thinking about coming out to Barry today, but.... I dont know, I couldn't figure out the right way to say it, and I didnt know when to tell him...." Mike started saying as he grabbed both their plates and put them on the dinner table. He took a seat and waited for Ben to join him after he poured two glasses of white wine. 

"You'll know when its the right time, Mike. And you'll know what to say, too. And it's okay if you takes you some time to tell him, or Jamie," Ben explained comfortingly as he set down a wine glass in front of Mike. They each took a bite of food, and Mike may have audibly moaned when he swallowed it. 

"That..... That is absolutely incredible. I never thought I'd like mushroom because they look so weird, but this is amazing, Ben. And you made this all yourself?" Mike asked as he eagerly took another bite. 

"Yeah, I made the dough about an hour ago and let it rest before rolling it out. Its mushroom on the inside, the filling, as well. With lots of butter and cream and cheese and wine," Ben explained. 

"You did all of that? You're kidding. My god, Ben, you must really fancy me," Mike smiled teasingly. 

"Would you reckon I do, Michael? I very, very much fancy you. I just hope i dont run out of recipes to impress you soon," Ben smiled, delighted as always that someone enjoyed his food, but especially happy that his boyfriend loved it. 

"Love, I'm already impressed with you. You could make me a bowl of cereal and I'll be impressed," Mike said, putting his hand on Ben's knee under the table. 

"How long have you been mates with Baz and Jamie?" Ben asked, holding Mike's hand and continuing to eat. 

"A long time. Ever since primary. It just makes me nervous because I've never had a boyfriend before. I've never introduced them to a man before. Besides celebrities, I've never even told them that I was attracted to blokes. I didn't even know myself until you started talking to me about it. I mean, I knew but I didn't... It's still confusing," Mike admitted honestly. 

"I know... If it makes you feel better, Mike, they probably already know," Ben said while caressing Mike's hand with his thumb. "I've only been together with you and your mates once, but just from what you've told me: Barry says you've kissed him. You've told them of your crush on David Tennant," Ben started saying, giggling when Mike smiled. 

"Yeah, and I've also told them of my crush on Orlando Bloom and Luke Evans," Mike laughed. "But, I don't know, that doesn't make me any braver," he said quietly. 

"Mike," Ben said, squeezing Mike's hand to get him to look him in the eyes. "Coming out is a really brave thing to do, and you don't have to do it until you feel ready. I'm sure that your mates will still love you even after you tell them, and you'll feel a lot better when you aren't hiding anymore. You have a lot to look forward to," Ben said reassuringly holding Mike's gaze and his hand. Mike smiled, feeling a really overwhelming sense of love for the man in front of him. 

"I feel so lucky to have met you, Ben," he said quietly, squeezing his boyfriend's hand when he started blushing. "So, we are still in the 'getting to know each other better' part of a relationship," Mike started. "Why not just begin with your family? Tell me about them," he asked. 

"Oh, okay, well I have two little brothers. Mum. Dad," Ben counted out on four of his fingers. 

"So you're the oldest son in your family?" Mike asked. 

"Yeah," Ben responded. "Occasionally caused problems," he said, to which Mike asked him to explain further. "Well, you know how parents have all these expectations of you? Of course, they want you to do well in school, they want you to make something of yourself, do something useful with your life. They want grandchildren. So when your son goes to you at the age of 16 and tells you... Mum. Dad. I'm gay. You're kind of ruining all those expectations for them. You're ruining the wedding that they saw in your future, the daughter in law and the grandkids that they saw in their future, and it... Takes a lot of time for them to adjust their expectations," Ben explained. 

"What was that like?" Mike asked. 

"Well, it was kind of terrible. I hid this from them for as long as I could remember. I never talked about how I fancied boys in primary. I never told them when I was seeing Jamie, partly because he didnt want me to, but I was scared too. Because I knew it would be terrible. They didn't want to accept it for a very long time, they refused to believe me. They thought that I was just going through something, that I was seeking attention, that I was just lying. And it hurt for a very long time, I cant really say that it ever stops hurting. Now my parents have had 7 years to deal with having a gay first born son and they don't shun me anymore. They've given up the hope that I'll find, you know, a nice young woman to date. They've even apologized for certain things they did in the past, which is nice. But I don't forget what it was like being yelled at by my dad for going to the cinema with a boy or being told by my mum why I couldn't just be normal like my brothers. Me being so young when I came out, it was a time when teenagers need their parents. They need their support and their love and I didn't get that from my parents for a few years," Ben explained. 

"Do you regret telling them when you did?" Mike asked. 

"Absolutely not. The way I see it, it was something that had to happen whether I wanted it to or not. By 16, I was absolutely, fully sure that I was gay. If I wanted to have a more serious relationship with a boy, then I had to come clean. Me and that boy I was seeing in year 11 didn't end up being so serious, but I knew that it would be someone. When I was dating Alex a couple years ago, my parents invited him over for Sunday dinner. I wouldn't have been able to properly introduce him to my family if I hadn't come out all those years ago. I did it at that time because that was when I felt like I was ready. And you'll know it when you're ready too," Ben said. "Tell me about your family," he continued. 

"Mum. Dad. Older sister," Mike said. "Guessing that being my parents' only son, they'll also take the news hard," he said. 

"You think so?" Ben asked. 

"Oh, I mean, I don't know. Its hard for me to predict how they'll react. This still being new to me personally, I've never even thought of it. I don't think that if I told my parents that I'm bisexual, they would even know what that means. I'm still not exactly sure what it means for me. I know that I have feelings for you. I know that is real. But I'm thinking back to all the crushes and the relationship that I had in my past, with girls, and I'm wondering if that was real or if I was just playing along, for the sake of not being different," Mike said. 

"That could be true," Ben said. "You're the only one that can determine that. And it takes time. I tell you that I had crushes on boys in primary and that's because I know that I did, looking back in hindsight. When I was an 8 year old, and I was fancying boys in my scouts troop, I didn't know that's what that was. Nobody ever told me that it was okay to fancy other boys. I just thought that I had those feelings because I really, really wanted to be friends with those boys. Not because I wanted to hug them or hold them or kiss them. But I did. Do you think you ever felt that way for a boy deep inside, but you just never really let yourself feel it?" Ben asked. 

"Blimey, I don't know..." Mike trailed off as he leaned back and thought about the question. "Maybe, but no one is coming to mind. I think you're my first Ebbers," Mike said. 

"Ebbers," Ben repeated, with a giggle. 

"You have a bloody adorable laugh. I love it when you do that. I've gotta get funnier so you can do that more often," Mike said with a big smile as Ben giggled some more. 

"Ebbers, I've never heard that one before," Ben giggled. 

"What do people call you?" Mike asked. 

"Well, either Ben or Benjamin," he said. 

"Bloody Hell, that's boring," Mike exaggerated, rolling his eyes. "What about baby? Honey? Darling? Sweetheart? Angel?" he said, looking at him with bright eyes. 

"Yeah, I like all those," Ben replied with a goofy smile. They finished their plates of food and brought them to the kitchen before going to the living room and sitting down together. 

"Okay, Darling, so its your turn to ask me," Mike said, rubbing his hand on Ben's arm and snuggling up to him. 

"Um... What's your biggest insecurity?" Ben asked. 

"Oh, a sad one. Okay... My weight," Mike said after a short pause. 

"Really? But, why?" Ben asked. 

"Well, in school I used to a do a lot of sports. I played football, rugby and I trained by running. After school and definitely after college, sports just kind of dropped out of my life and I've just been gaining weight ever since. For the past two years. I used to be a size 30 waist and I'm a size 34 now. I've tried to get back to exercising but I've been unable to find something that I can stick to consistently," Mike explained. 

"I think you're really fit," Ben said. 

"No, you're just saying that to make me feel better," Mike said, shaking his head. 

"I'm really not. I haven't been as physically attracted to someone as I am to you in a very, very long time. Even my last boyfriend wasn't as attractive as you. That's just the truth, Mike. You are bloody attractive. You're tall and strong, you've got gorgeous eyes, an infectious smile. There's nothing not to like. And it's not as if your waist size is printed on your skin. Your waist is beautiful just as the rest of you," Ben explained. 

"I disagree," Mike said, although Ben was making him feel really great. 

"Well, stop it. I mean, seriously, Mike, you're bloody, fucking attractive. I am ridiculously attracted to you," Ben repeated. 

"Oh Ben please... You... Ben..." Mike began saying, unable to find the words, thinking about love but also thinking it was way too early to say it. 

"It's the truth..." Ben shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, what's your biggest insecurity?" Mike asked. 

"Probably that other people don't like me as much I like them," Ben said. 

"And why is that?" Mike asked. 

"Well, I was very studious in school. I loved to learn and study, I was very good at math and science. People would always label me as the geek or the nerd and I didn't have many friends. People would come to me if they needed help with homework or studying for a test, but I had only two real friendships with people who really cared for me. Beyond that, there was also the bullying for being gay. A few people really didn't like me because I was gay. They'd call me names. Honestly, not being liked was part of the reason I wanted to be a chef. Cooking for people is an easy way to make them like you," Ben explained. 

"I quite like you, a lot. I fancy you, even," Mike said, making Ben giggle. "But you seem great at making friends. You're very kind, very friendly, you love asking questions and getting to know people. I mean, that's why I invited you for beers with my mates. And my mates liked you as well," Mike said. 

"Yeah, well, insecurities, they're kind of irrational by definition aren't they? Its always something you're sensitive about but no one else sees why," Ben said. 

"I genuinely don't think you have cause to be insecure about people not liking you. You're a delight," Mike said. 

"And I genuinely don't think you have cause to be insecure about your waist. You're fit," Ben said. 

"Touche," Mike nodded. "What's your favorite feeling in the world?" he asked. 

"Oh... interesting... Well, in combination with my last answer, not caring what other people think of me. Because being liked is and has been such a prominent insecurity of mine, I've never felt better about myself than when I've been able to let that go. When I came out for the first time, and I actually came out to a mate before my parents, that's how I felt. I wanted my mate to know this about me, to know that I am gay, but it wasn't particularly because I cared how he would react, rather it was that I had finally accepted myself for who I was and I felt like I could not continue a friendship with someone if had to keep denying that part of myself. I didn't feel comfortable telling him until I knew that being gay was such an important part of who I was that I didn't care if he accepted it or not. Personally, I have never felt as good about myself as when I have relieved myself of the burden of caring about other people's opinions. And I wish that I could do that all that time, and never ever care, but that's very difficult for me," Ben said. "What's your favorite feeling, Michael?"

"That's pretty much it... Freedom. Just being completely yourself, being completely honest about you and your thoughts and your dreams and your feelings. I feel like that, right now," Mike said, smiling. Ben lifted his head to kiss Mike after that. "You know, I think it's time I played you the song I promised you on our first date," Mike said. 

"You do? Oh my, I thought you'd forgotten," Ben said, smiling, watching Mike move as he stood from the couch to get his guitar he left near the front door. 

"Of course not, it just took time. I wanted to make sure that you would like it. I'm a little bit nervous," Mike said as he sat down with his guitar on his knee. 

"No, no. You have no cause to be nervous. I love it already. You wrote this for me?" Ben asked. 

"Yeah. I started writing it when I came back home after watching Doctor Who with you. I just finished it earlier today," Mike said. 

"I love it, Mike. I love it so much," Ben said. 

"You havent heard it yet," Mike laughed. 

"Doesnt matter. I love it. I know I do. Wait. I need to record it on my phone," Ben said as he reached for his phone on the coffee table. 

"You want to record it? I can just play it for you again," Mike smiled, already flattered by Ben's excitement for the song. 

"No, Mike. You dont understand. This will be the only song that I listen to now. Night and day. Tell me what it's named," Ben asked. 

"Its called Colors Run," Mike said. "Is your phone picking up the sound?" He asked strumming some chords to make sure. Ben nodded so Mike tapped on his guitar three times before beginning to play the chords.

"Talk is cheap, love is blind  
Spill the cliches from your mind  
Take your time  
If you let me lead you on  
I can make your colors run  
Colors run 

I cant make up your mind  
But you'll find that the longer you leave it  
You'll be left behind  
You cant handle the truth  
Because it burns deep inside you  
You want it but you'll never learn

You'll never find another point in time  
I am yours, you are mine  
It's right  
Collapse into these eyes  
You'll never have if you'll never grab whats yours.  
Take it all  
Smash down doors  
You cant be ignored"

Mike slowly began fading out the guitar chords, anxious to know Ben's thoughts. When he looked up from the strings, he saw Ben with flushed pink cheeks. Ben took a deep breath and lifted his hands to rub his warm face. 

"Oh my god," he said, voice shaking. "I dont... Oh, I dont even know what to say," he said as his tears started burning the corners of his eyes and flowed down. "That was..." Ben tried again but still unable to find the words. He wiped away his tears with his hand. 

"So you hated it?" Mike asked sarcastically, setting his guitar down so he could cuddle up to Ben. 

"Definitely not," Ben said, laughing and kissing Mike softly. "I've never had a song written for me before. It's so bloody romantic, Michael Huttlestone," Ben whispered as he caressed Mike's cheeks. 

"Well, you are reacting much better than the girl who threw my song away," Mike said, laughing, enamored by how emotional Ben was about the song. They kissed again and didnt come apart, leaning against their foreheads and breathing in each others air. 

"I loved it... I love..." Ben started whispering, making Mike's heart begin to beat faster, but he didnt finish his sentence. 

"Wow, I almost thought you were going to say that you love me," Mike whispered quietly, holding Ben tightly in his arms. 

"Yeah... I was..." Ben whispered, cheeks turning red, embarrassed that he said it too soon and was moving too fast for Mike. 

"I thought of saying that earlier tonight but I didnt want to freak you out saying it after only our third date," Mike said, making Ben's heart skip a beat. 

"Really?" Ben asked, choked up a bit. 

"Yeah, I love you, Ben," he whispered quietly. 

"I love you, too, Mike," Ben whispered and they just sat in silence for a second. "I said that to you this morning. That I could collapse into your blue eyes," Ben marveled. 

"You inspired me," Mike said lovingly. 

"You are perfect, Mike Huttlestone," Ben said, moving to fully envelope himself in his boyfriend's arms. 

"You've got me confused with someone else, mate," Mike joked, kissing the top of Ben's head. They sat in each others arms for a moment soaking in the smell of each others shampoo, the sensation of fingertips wandering across skin, the feeling of lips on lips was the sweetest feeling that either of them could describe. Like kissing honey or roses or the feeling you get when you wake up in the morning on your day off. Like kissing the only one you ever want to kiss. Mike spoke again after some time, "What do you want most out of life?" He asked. 

"Besides you?" Ben started, earning him another kiss. "I just want to be happy," Ben said as he looked at Mike with stars in his eyes. "What do you want, love?" He asked Mike. 

"I want my life to matter," Mike replied, again kissing Ben. "Are you happy?" He asked. 

"Ive never been happier," Ben answered truthfully. "You matter to me," he said, and Mike thanked him with a kiss. Then another and another until both men were breathing heavy and feeling each other under their clothes. "Let's move to my bedroom?" Ben asked, making a move to stand up and grabbing Mike's hand in the process. They walked over and as soon as they were inside, Mike's mouth was back on Ben, only separating for the seconds it took to lift both their shirts over their heads. With his hands on Ben's hips, Mike pressed his boyfriend up against the wall and kissed his jaw now. Meanwhile, Ben's hands were worrying at Mike's belt buckle. He had just unfastened it when Mike moved his lips to his earlobe, he bit him some and licked him some. Ben was getting warm to the touch and moaning at each tug of his earlobe. 

"I want to suck your cock," Mike whispered into Ben's ear, stroking his back, then swiftly pulling Ben off of the wall and guiding him to lay down on his own bed. 

"I'd really rather suck you off, babe," Ben whispered as Mike crawled over him and started peppering kisses all over his face. 

"I want to make you feel the same way that you make me feel. You do such a good job. I want to try. Want to take you in my mouth," Mike whispered hotly in Ben's ear as he licked his earlobe and bit him, while stroking Ben's bare arms. The assault on his ear was breaking him down turning him into such a mess, sqirming and moaning underneath his boyfriend. 

"Mike, I get off by giving you pleasure. Let me," Ben insisted as he wrapped a hand around Mike's neck to pull him closer. But that was when Mike started to pull away. 

"Ben... I, I know I've never done this before but I want to try it," he whispered, still moving his hands to caress Ben's soft skin. 

"You dont have to, love. Just because I did. I love taking you," Ben said as he tried to pull Mike back to kiss him. 

"No, Ben, I want to. I want to make you feel good," Mike replied before leaning down to take Ben's lips in a wet kiss. Mike could sense Ben's hesitation. "What is it? Tell me, please," he asked quietly, gently as he put kisses all around Ben's mouth and cheeks and nose. 

"I'm just... A little insecure about my size..." Ben whispered back, feeling his cheeks begin to burn. The insecurity wasn't so bad with just wanking or touching because Ben knew he could always do something with his hands or mouth to distract whomever was playing with him. But with blowjobs, with the person's head all the way down his body, the focus was all on him and his cock, and it made him feel inadequate. 

"Ben, you know I've never... Never felt another man's penis before. I quite fancy yours. It's not about the size for me... I just want to feel your body. You're beautiful, I love every part of you," Mike replied, trying to say something to rid Ben of these insecuties, and the look in his eyes showed Ben that he really meant it. 

Ben nodded and said, "Okay, but I want you touch me first." Mike mumbled something like "my pleasure" before attaching his lips to Ben's skin yet again and kissing him all over. "Your mouth feels so good on me," Ben moaned as Mike kissed down his neck to his collarbones and his chest. He settled on Ben's right nipple, curious to see what kind of reaction he would get for kissing and biting him there. As Ben moaned softly, Mike raised a hand to his other nipple and gently squeezed it between his fingertips. "Oh, Mike, oh please yes," Ben moaned as his back arched, moving his chest into Mike's face. As Mike kept touching him, Ben's nipples grew harder and firmer. Mike got so hot watching his boyfriend squirm underneath him. 

Mike had to remove Ben's trousers and pants and he did so with ease. When Ben was free, Mike wrapped his right hand around his cock and wanked him slowly, then crawled back up his body to kiss him passionately. Mike bit, licked, and kissed Ben's reddened lips as his erection grew in the palm of his hand. "You'll tell me if I do something wrong," Mike whispered in Ben's ear. "I want this to feel good for you," he promised because he felt unsure about his ability to deliver on his blowjob. Really, Ben was happy that Mike was touching him and loving him at all. Ben moaned as Mike started leaving kisses all the way down his body again and then he was kissing Ben's cock. 

No, Ben hadnt done that, and neither had any of the girls that had ever sucked Mike off before, but Ben looked delicious there, squirming on the bed, moaning at every touch, that Mike felt this was the right thing to do. He wanted to kiss his boyfriend's cock, feel the veins under his lips. Mike held Ben's cock in his right hand as he licked him at first, tasting every inch and then licking the bell end. Pre cum was dripping from Ben's cock and Mike licked it all up. He knew he just had to do it, not think about it too much. Mike wrapped his mouth around the bell end of Ben's cock and gently took just the tip in. He tongued the underside of Ben's cockhead while he tasted him. It was salty and smelled musky. It was the taste, the smell, the feeling, all of it excited Mike. Ben was moaning already, which was a good sign of course, but Mike was both excited and nervous to swallow more of Ben's length. 

He only had about an inch and a half inside his mouth when he felt the need to gag and pulled his mouth away. And the fact that this was Mike's first blowjob did wonders for Ben's self esteem because here was his boyfriend, gagging on his cock, like it was too big or something.

"Easier if you suck your breath in," Ben said as he moved his hand to touch Mike's hair. Mike took a few seconds to breathe and tried again, employing Ben's technique and holding his breath as he swallowed Ben's cock. He could only fit about another half inch but he held Ben in his mouth a couple seconds more before coming up again for air. This time a lot more spit came out his mouth and covered Ben's cock, and Mike's chin, as he pulled away. Ben watched on as Mike got all messy, covered in spit and pre cum. He moaned at how good Mike's warm and wet mouth felt around his cock. 

"I dont know how you do this," Mike complained as he wanked Ben's cock with his hand instead. He hoped that he could take all of him deep inside his throat like Ben did, because he knew it felt incredible and so tight and warm. He had no idea how Ben could swallow him whole, especially since Mike even had almost two inches more length. 

"Its just practice," Ben explained. 

"Should I take lessons?" Mike asked with a cheeky smile before he began licking and sucking the bell end again. 

"Oh yeah. Youre doing well for your first. I'll see you again tomorrow, as well," Ben said, smiling happily, feeling his blood rush through him when he felt Mike's lips on the tip of his cock. Mike wrapped his arms around Ben's hips and moved him so his legs stuck up further. He pulled his mouth back but kept wanking him with his hand. He thought of licking Ben's arsehole and although it seemed unpleasant, the twitch of ben's hole when he teased him with a finger turned Mike on too much. Mike liked the saltiness on his tongue and the musky smell because of how Ben reacted to Mike playing with him. He shivered, he shook, he moaned, and squirmed every time Mike touched him. 

Mike rubbed his nose against Ben's bollocks before lapping his tongue on Ben's hole. It didnt feel all that strange and that pull he felt on his hair when he did that meant he was doing something right. He buried his face in Ben's arse and licked him until Ben was a writhing, moaning mess on his bed. Ben's back was arching off the bed and his fingers were pulling on Mike's hair when he soon realized that he was going to cum. Mike moved his hand faster until he came, feeling Ben's cock twitch in his palm as he ejaculated all over his stomach. When he was done, Mike was kissing him all over again, his cock, his stomach, and chest. All while Ben had his eyes shut and was trying to regain his breath. 

"That was good," Ben heaved a big sigh, smiling at his boyfriend who straddled him and leaned over him on his knees. 

"Yeah, that was good?" Mike asked, smiling as he rubbed his hands over Ben's warm torso and then leaned down to kiss him passionately. 

"Yeah, it was amazing," Ben replied again, laughing now. Mike ran his fingers through the pools of cum on Ben's stomach and brought them to Ben's mouth, first spreading his cum on Ben's red lips and then making Ben suck on his fingers. This was the part that always made him hard. Seeing how eager Ben was to suck his fingers and swallow his own cum or Mike's cum. 

"You like eating your own cum," Mike whispered as he slowly pulled his fingers from Ben's mouth and leaned down to kiss him, to taste the salt in his mouth. 

"Yeah," Ben said, in a hazy state still, high from the orgasm. "And I love it when you suck my cock and eat my arse," he said, squeezing locks of Mike's hair in his fist. 

"Wasnt very good at it," Mike said, smiling at how blissfully happy Ben looked. 

"No, you were amazing," Ben said, pulling him in for another kiss. 

"You say that every time," Mike whispered, climbing off of his boyfriend and laying down next to him. 

"Because its true," Ben laughed.

"My, are you happy?" Mike asked sarcastically, enamored by that smile that hadnt left Ben's face since he came. 

"Happy as I'll ever be," Ben said, smiling as he looked Mike in the eyes and caressed his face. "Would you like me to make you happy, love?" Ben asked in a whisper as he kissed Mike's cheek and jaw.

"Yes, please," Mike begged, becoming suddenly aware of his erection, still covered up in his pants. Ben's warm lips felt like sparks against his skin, he basically followed the same pattern. Leaving soft and wet kisses all along Mike's neck and shoulders. Ben was pleased to see that Mike's nipples were already hard before he put his mouth on them and sucked them. Mike moaned and whispered obscenties as Ben toyed with his nipples, not just with his lips but his teeth too. The skin around Mike's chest turning a blushing red. Mike's eyes were shut tight but his mouth hung open, he was unable to control all the sounds leaving his mouth. He had raised a hand to the back of Ben's head and curled his fingers against his head. The other hand landed on his cock as he squeezed himself firmly through his pants. He could feel the pre cum leaking out of him.

No one else had ever touched his nipples in a sexual way before, except for himself. Mike really enjoyed it, has for years, and always rubbed his nipples when he was taking some time for self love. But he didnt know how to say it to a girl without being thought weird. And with Ben he didnt even have to ask. Ben could tell from his reactions that this was really working for him. He was making him happy. It felt amazing. 

After a long while sucking and biting his chest, Ben started moving back down and pulled away Mike's pants to reveal his erection. Ben spit in his hand two or three times before wanking his boyfriend's cock, mouth watering as he saw more pre cum leak from the bell end. He opened his mouth and stetched his jaw, eager to swallow every centimeter of Mike's hard cock. Mike moaned and whimpered the moment that Ben's warm and wet mouth took in the tip of his cock. He saw stars appear behind his eyelids when he felt the tip of Ben's nose touch his pubic bone, felt the tip of his cock in the very back of his boyfriend's throat. Mike didnt think he would ever be able to swallow that much. But it felt better than anything he could imagine, especially at that moment when Ben reached an arm back up his body and touched his nipples. 

Ben bobbed his head up and down, giving Mike a nice, warm, and wet hole to fuck. They both moved in tandem as Mike thrust his hips upward. With all the stimulation, Mike could hardly control himself, couldnt think, far away from being able to form phrases, he couldnt warn Ben that he was gonna cum. Ben had his full cock in his mouth when Mike started orgasming, and it was too much, he pulled up quickly and started coughing hard. Mike's cum got all over his face, some of it of course went deep inside his belly. Mike was moaning and crying out 'yes, yes' throughout the entire orgasm, oblivious to Ben struggling. After a few seconds, he opened his eyes again and saw Ben laid out next to him, breathing very hard. 

"You really have to warn a bloke before youre cumming down his throat while your bollocks are on his chin," Ben whined, chest heaving up and down. 

"What? Oh, fuck. I'm sorry, love. I couldnt even think about how to put any words together," Mike said, turning onto his side and laying his hand on Ben's chest as he slowly started regaining his breath. "That was the best orgasm I've ever had," Mike said excitedly. "Youre just amazing, Ebbers," he said with a wide smile, making Ben laugh quietly. 

"Your nipples, theyre very sensitive," Ben responded, cuddling up to Mike, stroking his chest, and rubbing his nipples. 

"Yeah, its kind of my thing. But, but I've never told anyone it was my thing and I've always just done it alone. But that was fucking incredible. And your fucking mouth, Ben. Fuck," Mike said as he held Ben close to him and caressed his hair. 

"What else is your thing, love?" Ben asked, looking at Mike with big, youthful eyes. 

"I just like making you feel good, like touching and exploring your body," Mike answered. 

Ben hummed, "Fuck, that was so hot when you were kissing my cock, licking my arse." 

"What's your thing, love?" Mike asked curiously. 

"Everything," Ben replied. "I love sucking your cock. Eating cum. Being told what to do. Being praised. Spanking. I love taking anything in my arse. I like it raw, no rubber," he went on. 

"We have got to try all of that," Mike said excitedly, holding his jaw in his grasp as he kissed him passionately. 

"What else do you want to try, love?" Ben asked, peppering the words between the kisses. 

"Mmm... I want to choke you," Mike whispered quietly, moving his hand around to lay at the base of Ben's neck.

"Go on then," Ben said, looking at Mike's hand and then looking at Mike. 

"Now?" Mike asked, his eyes lighting up. Ben gave him a nod so he moved his hand up about an inch and curled his fingers around Ben's neck, lightly squeezing him. 

"Thats not choking. Put your heart into it," Ben said, then his breath hitched as Mike squeezed tighter and he could really feel the pressure on his skin from Mike's fingertips. He couldnt take a deep breath because Mike closed up his passageway. Ben's eyes rolled back as he moaned and, in a second, the pressure was gone. He gasped and took a deep breath when he could. "Fuck me," Ben whined. 

"You liked it?" Mike asked, blood rushing to his cock yet again. 

"Yes," he said in a breath.

"What do you want to try?" Mike asked him. 

"Ive always wanted to use wax," Ben said, chest heaving up and down.

"Hot wax?" Mike asked, to which Ben said yeah. "Well, where do you keep your candles?" Mike asked, rolling off the bed. 

"In the bathroom cupboard," he said. "I turn them on when I'm in the bath. But I've never put it on my skin," he explained, watching Mike as he walked away. When he came back, he was surprised and excited to see his erection growing again. "You have such a great arse, Mike," Ben said as Mike stood by the bed lighting the candle. 

"Ive always thought it was too big," Mike smiled as he set the candle down on the nightstand and laid back down on his chest. Ben lifted his hand to caress and squeeze Mike's arse. 

"As a gay man, I can tell you that a big bum is an asset. Not a detriment. You are so beautiful," Ben said, then kissed him. 

"Youve got a great bum too. I thought about that picture I took of you all day," Mike said, pulling Ben closer so they were laying chest to chest, and they kissed again gently and slowly. 

"Did you?" Ben asked in a whisper, thumb caressing Mike's cheek. 

"Yeah," Mike said. "It was weird actually because I wanted to see it again before I came over here but it wasn't there. I guess I didnt have enough space on the camera or something," Mike said, completely unaware that it wasnt on his personal camera because he accidentally took it on his work camera. And Barry deleted it anyways. 

"Well, you are free to take as many more as you would like," Ben smiled, holding Mike closer. "I cant remember the last time Ive felt so happy," Ben said. 

"Me too, love. And I've never been so honest with someone before. It feels... Like the best feeling Ive ever felt," Mike said, holding Ben's gaze for a long few seconds then kissing him again and again. He only stopped to sneak a glance at the candle, happy to see that it had started melting and pooled at the top. "Wax?" Mike asked raising his eyebrows. 

"Wax!" Ben replied enthusiastically. 

"What if it's too hot? Dont want to burn you, love," he said, reaching over to pick up the candle, careful not to spill any wax before it was time. 

"Darling, I'm a chef. I think I can take the heat," Ben remarked sarcastically as Mike straddled him and blew out the candle. 

"Yes, chef," Mike responded sarcastically with a smile. 

"Fuck, there's another thing," Ben said smiling back and raising his arms to hold Mike's hips. 

"You a chef in bed, too?" Mike asked, laughing. 

"You like to eat my arse, so yeah," Ben teased, heart beating faster in anticipation. 

"Yes, chef, I do," Mike teased back, stroking his hand over Ben's chest. "Where do you want me to pour, love?" He asked 

"Uh anywhere just where there isnt any chest hair," he responded, holding his breath as Mike scooted back a little more, arse resting on Ben's thighs. Ben's cock was nestled flat underneath Mike's arse. 

Mike decided that right below the rib cage was a good spot. He tipped the candle over slowly and a small drop of wax fell quickly onto Ben's skin. It felt like a really sudden spark of electricity, eliciting an "ooh" at first and then "more." Now Mike moved over to Ben's right nipple, he tipped the candle again, allowing a slightly bigger glop of wax to coat Ben's nipple. There came another "ooh." Mike scooted up, straddling Mike's stomach now and dropping the rest of the melted wax on Ben's neck. 

"Oh, fuck me," Ben whispered as the wax warmed his skin. He felt his cock twitch. "I want more," he whined. 

"Candle wasn't burning very long, thats all there is, love," Mike said apologetically. Then he felt Ben tugging at his hips, forcing him to sit up on his knees, and just as youd have it, Mike's cock was right against Ben's face. Ben opened his mouth to receive Mike's cock now for a second time, with his spit slicked lips and soft tongue. It happened so fast that Mike was took by surprise. His erection returned the moment that he had his hand wrapped around Ben's neck, where a pool of wax was cooling down now. 

Ben was as enthusiastic about the blowjob as he was just minutes earlier. They were in the perfect position for Ben to look up at Mike with his big doe eyes as he sucked him. Seeing that pleasure in Ben's eyes lit Mike's whole being on fire. Ben had brought his hand to his own cock and was wanking himself at a fast pace using only his pre cum for lube, but after being choked and getting wax poured on him, that was enough. He moved his head back and forth, taking time to swallow Mike's whole cock and to lick just the tip because he knew how good it felt. After a few seconds, Mike pulled his cock out of Ben's mouth and wanked himself, hanging his bollocks over Ben's mouth and letting him suck those instead. 

"I want to cum on your face, fuck," Mike moaned as he sat further back and wanked himself to orgasm with his cock pointed into Ben's mouth. Mike's cum got all over Ben's face, and Ben's cum got all over himself and Mike's back. They both sighed when they were done and Mike rubbed his soft cock on Ben's cheek before he climbed off of him. "Fuck, Ben, you look so fucking sexy like this," he said as he laid down next to him and used his fingers to spread his cum around. Ben opened his mouth again and let Mike slide his fingers in to coat his whole mouth in his cum. 

"You taste so good, love," Ben sighed happily. 

"You were so good for me," Mike said as he gently caressed Ben's cheek. "Opening your mouth for me two times. Letting me choke and pour wax on you. Fuck, Ben, I love you," Mike said cuddling closer to Ben and kissing him passionately. 

"I can still feel your fingers around my neck," Ben whispered, eyelids feeling heavy. 

"No, that's not my fingers, love. It's wax," Mike said as he picked at the dry wax with his fingernails, it broke into smaller pieces and underneath, Ben's skin was a light pink. "I'll clean you up," he said as he stood up to go to the bathroom for some tissue. He wiped up the cum on his lower back first, then cleaned up Ben's stomach, and picked off the last bits of wax on Ben's torso. Finally, Mike laid back down with Ben who he presumed had fallen asleep. Not quite yet. 

"I love you too, Mike," he had to say before dozing off.


	7. can you show me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was all the little things like Mike watching Ben's lips closely when he spoke, like Ben missing a few words because he was busy staring into Mike's eyes, like their fingers wandering across each other's skin, raising goosebumps and igniting tiny flames in their path. When Mike called him beautiful Ben felt like he really meant it. And when Ben looked at him like he was responsible for hanging the moon and the stars up in the sky, Mike felt very special.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, warning for some explicit sexual scenes at the end. Some of the more kinky things explored here are Dom/Sub undertones, dirty talk, orgasm delay, and spanking. Enjoy reading!

The last time that Mike had been served a homemade breakfast in the morning was around 5 years ago when he still lived with his mum and dad. That made this morning all the more special. And even though he didn't feel Ben's warm body laying next to him, he still woke up feeling happy because the smell of bacon and coffee meant that his chef was out of bed, in the kitchen, making him breakfast. He hugged Ben's pillow close to his chest, also breathing in the vanilla scent of Ben's shampoo. Then, as he listened closely, he heard Ben humming and singing along to a song from a musical that Mike might have heard him talk about. So, what reason would Mike have to be unhappy? He couldn't find one. These last few days with Ben had been the happiest days of his life. 

"Morning, love!" The chef said cheerfully as he saw his boyfriend coming toward the kitchen. Mike didn't respond at first, just walked over to hug Ben and kiss him like a man starved for affection. He went after his lips even after Ben tried to pull away then tried even harder a second time. "Mike, you don't want your eggs to burn," Ben smiled and laughed, turning back around to move the scrambled eggs around in the pan before turning the hob off. 

"Good morning, my love," Mike replied, now standing back and watching as Ben did his thing. "I missed you in bed this morning, but then I smelled you cooking breakfast," Mike said, smiling. 

"Yes, well, I'll pour you a cup of coffee. And your eggs and bacon will nearly be ready. Did you sleep well, love?" Ben asked, going back over to his boyfriend once all the hobs were off and the eggs just needed to finish cooking with residual heat. He gave him another kiss, now bringing his hand to Mike's neck to pull him down and caressing the skin there. 

"I slept better than I think I have in a very long time," Mike said, his hands laying on Ben's hips. "It only would have been better if you and I were still in that bed right now," he whispered as he held Ben against him, moving his hands around to grab his bottom. 

Ben giggled, feeling his heart race at how endearing his boyfriend was for making him feel sexy. "I wish we could be, love, but I have a class to teach in less than an hour now," he said sadly, placing his hands over Mike's to gently move them. Then he began plating up their breakfasts. 

"We don't have enough time in the day just for us. Ben, you and I should just go away together," Mike proposed. "Didn't you say you would like to travel more?" He asked. 

"I do, and I would love to go away with you. Where would you like to go?" Ben asked, flattered at Mike's suggestion. He handed his boyfriend a plate filled with scrambled eggs and a few rashers of bacon. 

"Anywhere, love. Anywhere that I can go with you," Mike said, savouring Ben's delicious food. "Somewhere with a beach so we can watch the ocean together. Or somewhere in the country so we can go on walks and admire the landscape," he continued. 

"Now you are speaking my language," Ben said, loving the idea of being alone with Mike in a cottage in the country with big, open fields filled with grass and green trees surrounding them. 

"So, let's go," Mike insisted. 

Ben giggled, "Sure. Let me just pack a bag and go."

"I'm serious! Let's go to Scotland or somewhere else over Christmas. Just us. No class. No photos," Mike begged. Ben had to smile. He was content with just the fact that Mike had planned to still be with him in few months time. 

"I think my mum would have my head if I didn't go home to cook Christmas dinner," Ben giggled, though the idea of a vacation with Mike was very appealing. 

"We'll go a few days before. Be back in time for Christmas with your mum," Mike said. 

Now Ben's heart was beating very fast. "You would.... You would like to spend Christmas with my mum and dad then? And my brothers?" He asked quietly, unsure if Mike meant as much by his previous statement. 

"Um... Yeah. Yeah, maybe," Mike said, unsure exactly how he felt. Of course, he would love to meet Ben's family, but the prospect that this would require also inviting Ben to Christmas with his family, introducing Ben as his boyfriend to them, caused his stomach to tie itself in knots. He was scared of what they would think or what they would say of Ben or of himself. Mike didn't know if he would be ready to do all of that in a few months time. "Can I... can I make a decision about that later?" he asked quietly, hoping that Ben wouldn't be offended.

Ben was internally cursing at himself. He knew he shouldnt have asked. Sure, things had been moving quite fast for them. They had been dating for three days but were already talking about love and going on holidays together. Cut Ben some slack though, these dates they were going on were longer than 10 hours each. And Mike was crying in his arms the first night they spent together as boyfriends. But something about the relationship also felt like it was going slow. Ben of course didn't want to be pushy but he didnt like that idea that they would be going out together to the pub with Mike's mates at the end of the week and have to pretend there was nothing between them.

"Yeah, yeah, you can decide later," he said after a long pause. He thought that maybe he shouldnt be making this relationship out to be more than it was. 

"I want to meet them, definitely, but I just... well, then I'd feel like I'd have to invite you for Christmas with my mum and dad as well, so then I'd have to come out and tell them about you, about us. And... and I still don't know when I'll be ready for that... I really hope that you... well, that you understand," Mike explained, hoping that it didn't make Ben feel bad but he was just being honest. When Ben didnt respond, he started to feel very anxious. "I... I just wanted to plan a holiday for us to be together. Just me and you. And I'm not ready to think about the family and things like that. But I want to be with you," Mike tried explaining how he felt, but felt his heart ache more and more each second that passed and Ben didn't say anything to mean that it was okay. "Bloody hell... I'll just, maybe I should just stop talking," Mike laughed then stood up to wash his plate in the sink. 

Ben brought his plate to the sink as well. "Mike, I've got to go, I'm sorry. Class starts in a half hour," Ben said. 

"Are you angry with me?" Mike asked, now being forward and direct. Ben couldn't say he was angry. It was something more like disappointment, although not quite so either. 

"No, I'm not," Ben said. "I understand, Mike. It's our secret," he said, giving Mike a kiss on the cheek. 

"Ben, just because its a secret now, it doesnt mean that it will be forever. I can promise you that now, and I am a man of my word," Mike said, attempting to give Ben some reassurance. "I love you, Ben.... I, I love you," he repeated, unsure if the words conveyed what he wanted to say. He kissed Ben back before running to Ben's bedroom to put his clothes back on. Ben followed him, said that he loved him too, and both of them knew it was the truth, but something about it didn't sit right. Once Mike was clothed he walked with Ben to his car before giving him one last kiss and then going off back home. 

So this was the confusing part. Each of them had fooled themselves into thinking that maybe this relationship just wouldnt have that part, but all of them do. The first few days were spectacular and both were on the same page the whole time, enjoying each other's company, and thinking about the other non stop. But now things were confusing and neither of them knew what to say as the hours passed by and no invitation for another date was extended. No "come over to mine" or "can I come over" and maybe this was better because Mike was able to focus better on those photos and Ben was getting on the slackers in class more. They wondered if the weird little disagreement that morning meant way more than it seemed it did. 

In the end it was Mike who cracked. 'So are you going to invite me over?' He texted Ben as he got to the last few photos, his work day almost being up. Barry had wondered what happened to Mike, why he was remarkably less smiley and bubbly today. He guessed it was the pressure of it being the deadline date for the wedding photos. But he wondered if possibly this also had something to do with Ben. 'I miss you,' Mike texted again before even waiting for a response. 

'So are you going to come over?' Ben responded almost ten minutes later. 'Will be back from work in about two more hours,' he said. 'Miss you too.' Mike had to smile. It gave him that bit of hope that he needed to finish editing without having the crushing anxiety that he had driven away the first man he ever loved. Truthfully, it made him feel like such a drama queen. But the feeling in his chest when he knocked on Ben's door and his boyfriend greeted him made all the weird mix of emotions worth it. This felt like coming home. He didn't even respond when Ben said hello, he just stepped forward, bent down, and kissed Ben like he missed him for 8 years rather than 8 hours. 

"Oh my," Ben whispered, taken slightly aback by the passionate kiss they shared right there in Ben's doorway where any neighbors may be passing by. None did, though. "Would you like to come inside?" Ben asked rhetorically with a giggle, moving aside to give Mike room to walk in and then shutting the door behind him. 

"I'm sorry for acting weird this morning," Mike said as he started taking off his beanie, scarf, and coat. 

"No, you weren't acting weird, I was acting weird," Ben replied, taking Mike's clothing from him and hanging them up on the hooks by his door. 

"I think we were both acting weird," Mike said by way of compromising. "I just... It almost feels like I can't explain it to you, how much I feel for you," Mike said, watching Ben's face closely as he pouted. 

"Mike, you must stop being such a romantic. I'm not sure how much a man's heart can take," Ben replied, laughing slightly. Really it was unbelievable how much such few words meant. He felt a physical ache in his chest. Then he remembered that he had pizza in the oven and, oh dear, it probably had turned black by now. He was pleased to see that it was only a shade darker than perfectly done. Which was still very much acceptable. 

"You made pizza? You must really love me!" Mike laughed, staring hungrily at the two pizzas that Ben pulled from his oven. One was just classic salami and the other had slices of tomato and basil. 

"I really do," Ben giggled as he started cutting each pizza apart into slices. He gave each of them two slices. "Well, come on. We're not going to miss the new Doctor Who, are we?" Ben asked as he walked over to his couch and Mike followed him happily. 

"I didn't know that you watched it," Mike smiled, glad that he wouldn't have to miss it and also that he didn't have to ask to watch it with Ben. He thought he could just catch it later and he didn't want to ruin whatever Ben wanted to do that night by interrupting it with television. 

"Mike, I'm English," Ben said by way of mocking the entire Doctor Who fanbase. But, it was true. If Ben had to guess, most of his building right now were getting ready to watch it. It started in only 15 minutes. When Mike sat down, Ben laid with his legs draped across Mike's lap so he could be closer to him. "How was your day, love?" He asked, excited to hear all about it while laying next to his boyfriend eating pizza. So, their night more than made up for their awkward morning, as they cuddled together on the couch feeding each other and talking. They sat together for hours after the Doctor Who episode was over, with Ben's arm laying across Mike's waist and Mike's hands in Ben's hair. And it was all the little things like Mike watching Ben's lips closely when he spoke, like Ben missing a few words because he was busy staring into Mike's eyes, like their fingers wandering across each other's skin, raising goosebumps and igniting tiny flames in their path. When Mike called him beautiful Ben felt like he really meant it. And when Ben looked at him like he was responsible for hanging the moon and the stars up in the sky, Mike felt very special. 

"You know, I'd really love to meet your family. And I'd like you to meet mine, as well," Mike said softly as he held Ben in his arms. 

"I'm okay, Mike. You don't need to make me any promises. I'm happy if it's just us for now. I am really happy," Ben replied, leaning forward to kiss Mike softly. 

"I'm happy, too. That's why I know that I want to meet them, because I know that I'm in this... forever," Mike said, grinning, then leaning back in for another kiss. 

"Mmm..." Ben hummed around Mike's tongue. "Forever is it?" he asked, grinning back as he raised a hand to Mike's neck.

"Yeah, or longer if I can," Mike smiled widely, pushing his tongue past Ben's lips and caressing Ben's own tongue. "Promise," he whispered gently against his lips before kissing him again. "I have something I wanted to ask," Mike started, his cheeks already starting to turn a rosy color.

"What is it, love?" Ben asked, wondering what it was that seemed to have turned Mike all embarrassed. 

"I was uh, wondering how you said that you liked being... The bottom... and I... well, I decided to try it after I left you this morning. And it really, really was very uncomfortable, and I just don't understand why one would enjoy... that," Mike said, making Ben giggle slightly. 

"Really?" Ben asked, somewhat unsure if Mike was just pulling his tail. 

"Yes, really! It hurt! It was so tight and painful. And I was just using a finger, I can't imagine what it would be like filling myself with a whole cock," Mike said. 

"Have you ever watched gay porn?" Ben asked, to which Mike shook his head. "Loads of men enjoy getting fingered. I guess, not everyone, really. So if you don't, then that's fine. But I think you were probably just doing it wrong," he said. 

"How do you mean doing it wrong?" Mike asked curiously. 

"Well, did you use lube?" Ben asked. 

"Yeah, kind of, I used lotion," Mike said. 

"Did you relax?" he asked. 

"I don't know how I could," Mike said. 

"Did you touch your prostate?" Ben asked. 

"What? No... Why would I do that? Don't doctors do that to find out if you have cancer?" Mike asked, confused. 

Ben giggled more. "No... Well, okay, well yes. But also, it feels really good to touch, it's very pleasurable. I think it's psychological. It does hurt a bit to finger yourself, but you kind of just breathe through the pain and when you massage your prostate, it feels amazing so the pain is worth it. Eventually, you kind of just get used to the pain or you might even like the pain because you know that you'll get a great orgasm out of it. It also makes for really great foreplay," Ben said, feeling his cock start to stiffen in his pants as he thought of doing this with Mike. Mike paused for a second to think and process all of Ben's explanation. 

"How do you know where the prostate is?" He asked. 

"You just kinda move your finger around until you find it. You can feel it physically on your finger, but mostly, you can tell when it starts feeling good. Then you just keep touching yourself until... You know," Ben explained. 

"Can you show me?" Mike asked enthusiastically. 

"Show you how?" Ben asked, smiling at that look on Mike's face. 

"I want to see you finger yourself," Mike said. 

"Oh you do?" Ben asked inquisitively. 

"Yeah, bet you'll look proper sexy doing it," Mike said, gazing at Ben while biting his lip. Ben gazed back, licking his lips, stirred by Mike's lustful eyes. 

"You're just gonna tell me to masturbate without getting me horny first?" Ben asked as he moved to straddle Mike and then kissed him softly. 

"You're the one talking about that 'amazing' prostate orgasm. Think of that," Mike said in between another kiss, each one more passionate than the last. "I want to see it," Mike repeated, moving his hands down Ben's back to his bum and squeezing him. "Touch yourself for me," he said, more firm and direct now, also causing a rush of blood to Ben's cock. 

Ben stood and pulled Mike to his bedroom where he immediately started undressing with Mike's help. Then Mike sat down in the stool close to the end of the bed. "I want to see how you touch yourself. Like I'm not even here," Mike insisted. Ben fished out a bottle of lube from his nightstand and squirted a good amount onto his right hand, leaving it on the surface for better access later. Then he started wanking himself, slow, as he laid down in the middle of the bed, making sure Mike had a good view of him. He hummed quietly as he wanked himself, growing larger and larger in the palm of his hand. 

"How often do you do this?" Mike asked. Ben didn't answer, not focused on anything that wasn't his cock. "Answer me, Ben," Mike said firmly, a nice reminder to Ben that he wasn't alone. 

"Whenever I think about your cock," Ben said, breathing labored. Before they had sex for the first time, Ben had wanked himself off and fingered himself to the thought of Mike nearly every night. Safe to say that Mike had invaded all his fantasies. This was one of the reasons why Ben couldnt beat around the bush when he was invited for a cooking lesson. He knew that something more between them was inevitable. So here they were. It's been a while now that Ben hadnt touched his arsehole, what with Mike being new to the whole gay sex thing and not being ready for it. Ben was more than happy to fill himself with his own fingers, to put himself on display for Mike's pleasure. "I think how badly I want you," Ben said as he rubbed the bell end of his cock with his thumb, pre cum attaching to his finger. 

"Like what? What do you think about?" Mike asked. Ben once again neglected to answer immediately because he was busy worrying the pre cum that continued leaking from his hard cock. "Ben, you don't answer me again and I'm going to punish you," Mike said. These words made Ben so horny that he couldn't hold off anymore. 

"Like fucking myself on your cock until you cum inside me. Now I just pretend its your cock when I fuck myself on my fingers," Ben said, taking a deep breath before he reached over for more lube. He lifted and spread his legs, then reached around from the side of his leg with his right hand to touch his arsehole. Mike saw it twitch as soon as Ben made contact. Ben returned his left hand to his cock and wanked himself slowly as he circled his fingertip around his hole and started pushing one in. Mike thought that it went in surprisingly easy. Ben knew, because he had done this hundreds or thousands of times since he was 13, just where to touch himself. 

A moan immediately left Ben's body at the first stroke of his prostate. Mike was even more surprised when he saw Ben stuff himself with two more fingers simultaneously. Ben's body shuddered as his three fingers massaged his spot and he moaned more as he kept going. "How does it feel?" Mike asked. 

"Oh fuck, oh. Thats so good," Ben said in a high pitched voice. He moaned as he pushed his fingers in and out, heart beating impossibly fast. In a few seconds, he removed his fingers and laid his hand down on the bed while he still stroked his cock nice and slow with his other hand. 

"Why did you stop?" Mike asked. 

"I didnt want to cum too fast," Ben said as he grabbed and squeezed his bollocks. "I want it to last," Ben explained further. He then returned to teasing himself with just a fingertip at his arsehole. 

"Dont use your fingers just yet," Mike directed, and Ben laid his hand back down. Ben continued wanking himself, rubbing his bell end everytime that pre cum leaked from his cock. After several seconds,, he was craving his fingers in his asshole and he raised a finger to tease himself again. "Did I tell you could use your fingers?" Mike asked. 

"I need to," Ben replied immediately. 

"Dont argue with me," Mike said firmly. 

"Please," Ben said, resorting to begging, laying his hand back down. "Please, Mike. I need to touch myself now. Please...." He moaned. 

"You do as I tell you," Mike said, to which Ben whined out loud. Mike was getting such a  
thrill from the power. 

Ben instead went back to focus on his cock, trying his best to ignore the craving, hoping that Mike would let him touch himself again soon, also hoping that Mike keeps speaking to him like this in the bedroom from now on because this was exactly what he needed. 

"How does it feel?" Mike asked. 

"So fucking good," Ben answered.

Mike was pleased with the immediate answer, unlike before. "You can fuck yourself now," Mike said. Ben immediately stuffed himself with three fingers again. He pushed them in and out with such a quick pace, abusing his prostate. He began moaning again, louder until he just started yelling. In seconds, he was cumming all over himself. He was breathing hard as he let his legs lie back down on the bed and let himself feel the afterwaves of his orgasm that made his head go fuzzy. He was smiling happily. 

"That was so fucking hot," he whispered out in a high pitched voice, lifting up his heavy neck to look Mike in the eyes. He was looking at him with such intense lust. Ben let his head plop back down. "I love it when you tell me what to do. Telling me I should be punished. Can you punish me?" Ben asked, still out of breath but slowly coming back to earth. 

"You want to be punished?" Mike asked as he stood from his stool, recalling how Ben told him he liked spanking yesterday. He presumed this meant being spanked. 

"I should be. I was a bad boy and I didnt follow your orders," Ben said, feeling his cock fill with blood again as he heard Mike's steps approach him. 

"You argued with me," Mike said, sitting down on the bed next to Ben, who rolled over onto his elbows so he could see Mike better. "You kept begging me, even after I told you no," he said, eyes steady on Ben. "You didnt answer when I spoke to you, and you spoke when I told you not to. How many times?" Mike asked, his tone like venom in his words. 

"I dont know. I dont remember," Ben replied meekly. 

"Five times," Mike answered for him. "Come here," Mike said, patting his still clothed lap. It was at that point that Ben had noticed Mike's erection growing under his trousers. Ben crawled over on all fours and laid himself across Mike's lap, his bare cock over Mike's clothed one. The fabric of Mike's trousers chafed him, but then again, he deserved punishment. "I want you to count each one," Mike said, admiring Ben's soft rump. He thought of a million different things he could do to him, hoping he would have the chance to try it all in the future. 

"Okay," Ben whispered, laying his forehead on the bed and waiting for his punishment. 

"Sir," Mike said, as he lifted his hand to caress Ben's bottom first. He felt Ben shiver under him, then he remembered his ring. "You address me as sir. Do you want me to keep this ring on?" Mike asked, rubbing his hand against Ben's cheeks so he would feel the cold metal on his index finger. 

"Yes, sir. Please, I deserve to be punished," Ben said, letting out a small moan already. 

"Will you be a good boy after I punish you, Ben?" Mike asked. 

"Yes, sir. I promise," Ben said, bringing his knees in so his arse would stick out more. This was when Mike raised his hand about half a meter above Ben's bum. He swiftly brought it down in between Ben's cheeks, causing Ben to breathe in sharply and his body to twitch. "One, sir," Ben said, remembering to count. Mike raised his hand once again and hit Ben the same way, now eliciting a moan. "Two, sir," Ben said. Again, Mike raised his hand but this time brought it down against Ben's left arse cheek, harder, making him yelp quietly, then moan. "Three, sir," Ben said in a high pitched voice. Mike did the same again on Ben's right arse cheek, a little harder, drawing out a louder yelp. "Four. Sir, can you please remove your ring?" Ben asked. Mike did so, holding it in his other hand, then delivering the final blow, hardest of all five, between Ben's arse cheeks. Ben proper yelled now, feeling both the tenderness of his arse from Mike's hand and the roughness against his cock as he humped against Mike's trousers each time he twitched from being hit. Then he felt another slap, this one lighter, on his right arse cheek. 

"You didn't say the final number," Mike reminded him. 

"Five. Six," Ben said, breathing heavy. "Thank you, sir," he said. Mike just stared at Ben's bright red bum, just seeing the outline of his fingers. He brought his hand to Ben's bottom to caress the warm skin there. 

"Can I take a photo of you?" Mike asked. 

"Yes, sir," Ben lifted himself up to stand on his knees to give Mike room to stand up. He noticed the tent in Mike's trousers had grown larger. Mike noticed that Ben's erection had returned for the second time. "Where do you want me?" Ben asked, wanting to touch himself but resisting since he hadnt the opportunity to ask Mike for permission first. Instead of answering with words, Mike put a hand on Ben's shoulder and firmly directed him to lie down on his face so that his arse would be up. Mike wished he had brought his camera with him, but he just had to use his phone instesd. He took one picture of Ben's reddened bum. Then he put his hand on Ben's bum, squeezed his arse, and took another picture. When he was done, Ben sat up on his knees again. 

He walked back over to show Ben the images. "You did that to me," Ben marveled as he looked at the photos. "You can see the shape of your fingers on me," he said as he looked on. Then Mike put the phone on the nightstand. "Can I suck you off, please, sir," Ben asked politely as Mike came back. 

"Youre being a good boy now," Mike smiled as he sat down next to Ben. 

"I want to be a good boy for you, sir," Ben smiled back. 

"You are a very good boy, darling. Youre just naughty. I love it," Mike said, just before leaning closer to Ben to kiss him softly. As they were kissing, Mike was unbuttoning his trousers. He lifted his hips so he could slide them down his thighs and off his legs. 

"I love you," Ben said in between kisses with his hands caressing Mike's neck and shoulders. Mike brought his hand to Ben's face and held him firmly, kissing him more passionately. 

"I love you so much," Mike said. "I want to finger you, make you have a nice orgasm," he said, so Ben positioned himself laying down with his elbows on either side of Mike's hips and his arse next to Mike's head. Mike reached over for more lube and coated his hand with it. Within seconds, Ben was swallowing his cock, his warm mouth felt amazing, instantly Mike was moaning with pleasure. He rubbed circles around Ben's twitching hole at first then delved his finger in, delighted at how smoothly Ben's arse received it, though he still felt it tight around his finger. Ben was fondling Mike's bollocks as he swallowed his cock and teasing Mike's hole but not pushing it. 

Mike tried moving his finger around to feel for Ben's prostate and he couldnt. He pushed two fingers in this time and after several seconds, he felt his fingertips brush up against something. He directed his fingers to touch that spot head on, and he felt Ben moan, around his cock, felt the vibrations from Ben's throat in his veins and he knew. He pushed in three fingers and stroked Ben's prostate over and over. Ben had to stop sucking Mike because he was moaning and gagging so much. 

"Fuck, Mike. Right there, that feels so fucking good, Mike, please, dont stop," Ben begged, leaning his forehead against Mike's hip. He continued moaning, feeling every single microscopic movement of Mike's fingertips against him. He knew he was gonna cum untouched because he was so hot from the last orgasm and the spanking that he didnt need much push. Mike brought his other hand down on Ben's arse and squeezed him firmly as he fucked him with his fingers. Ben's bum was still so sensitive and tender that when Mike touched him there, he started ejaculating, while Mike still abused his prostate through his orgasm, didnt stop until he noticed that Ben had stopped twitching. Ben continued riding the high of his orgasm as he brought his mouth back to Mike's cock and swallowed it deep into his throat. 

Mike brought his hand to the back of Ben's head and held him steady so he could fuck his mouth. Ben still squeezed Mike's bollocks between his fingers as Mike used him. He was delighted hearing all the sounds of Mike's heavy breathing and moans. After several seconds, Mike was saying over and over that he was going to cum. Ben once again lifted his head and finished Mike off with his hand so that he came all over Ben's face and into his open mouth. Mike's heart raced when Ben climbed up his body and he saw his cum covering his boyfriend's face. He touched it with two fingers that he promptly put into Ben's mouth, pushing them past the point that Ben could start gagging, but he had a really good reflex about that. Ben just closed his lips around Mike's fingers and bobbed his head to suck the cum off. They did this a few times until Ben was somewhat clean, then they laid down side by side, still breathing heavy and feeling the afterwaves of pleasure. 

"Fuck me, Mike. That was the hottest sex Ive ever had. I loved that. Thank you," Ben said, truly grateful. He had never had sex so satisfying. Mike knew just what to say and how to act. 

"You're thanking me," Mike laughed slightly, reaching over to hug Ben around his side and they kissed lazily. "You turn me on, Ben. Make me go crazy," Mike said, stroking the side of Ben's head. "We've got to do that again. All the time," he said optimistically. 

"We should come up with a word. Because I didnt want you to take your ring off, I wanted you to tell me no," Ben explained. 

"Really? I thought i was hurting you," Mike said. 

"You were, but it hurt so good," Ben smiled, kissing Mike again. "Youre incredible," he said, laying his head back down and closing his eyes to soak in the moment. 

"Whats your word then?" he asked. "And.... How does that work exactly?"

"I've never really used one before, but you keep going even when I tell you no or tell you to stop. Its part of the fun. But when i say the word, then you know that I really want you to stop and not just tell me no," Ben tried explaining. 

"You've been spanked and didnt use a word before?" Mike asked, showing concern. 

"Not really. The guys who've spanked me before were just hookups. We hardly knew each others name. They would just listen when I said no. But I think its more of a turn on to struggle a little bit," Ben said as he stroked Mike's chest. 

"So you've hooked up with loads of men before?" Mike asked, feeling a tinge of insecurity. 

"No, maybe 4 or 5... After I broke up with Alex, I was always horny for really good and satisfying sex. Then I met you," Ben said quietly, rolling a nipple between his fingers. 

"Whats the best one you ever had then?" Mike asked, regretting it soon after, scared to know the answer. 

"You are," Ben answered honestly. 

"I'm sure those other guys were much more experienced than me," Mike sighed, feeling embarassed by his lack of experience and aroused by the fingertip that was stroking his nipple. 

"Well, that doesnt matter. I love you. More than Ive ever loved before. That makes me the sex... Unimaginable," Ben said as he scooted closer. "You matter more to me than any of them," he whispered. Mike's insecurities were instantly washed away when he looked into Ben's eyes and knew he was telling the truth. 

"You make me wish that I had you all along. I dont know how I lived without you," Mike whispered, closing his eyes and focusing on the feeling of Ben's fingers on his nipple. 

"Dont worry, love. There's still plenty of time left for us," Ben responded quietly as he shifted to the other nipple and attached his lips to Mike's neck. He felt the vibration in his throat as Mike moaned. When both of Mike's nipples were hard, Ben started trailing his kisses down over the dirty blond chest hair until his mouth settled on his boyfriend's nipple. He licked all around it at first, feeling it firm against his tongue, and then wrapped his lips around it. When he sucked on it, he heard Mike's breath catch in his throat before he moaned. He also nipped at it with his teeth, did everything he could elicit all the noises, the moans, the whimpers, the whines, the shudders. When he looked over, he saw that Mike was touching the other nipple. He quietly moved on to hold that one in his mouth, giving it the same treatment, and now when Mike moaned he also arched his back off of the bed. 

After a while of stroking his chest, Ben sat up. "I want to finger your arse so you can feel what it's like," he said, shaking Mike's head so he opened his eyes and they could look at each other. Mike was still a little breathless, he nodded and said please quietly, making Ben smile. He was grateful that Mike was sharing some of his power. "You relax, okay? Touch your nipples and I'll stroke your cock so that it feels good going in. When it hurts just breathe and know that it's gonna start feeling amazing," Ben said as he stood up and brought the lube with him to the end of the bed. He laid down and first wanked Mike's cock, felt it becoming stiffer and wetter in his hand as pre-cum leaked from the tip. When he looked up Mike's body, he saw him already in bliss, eyes shut, and tweaking both his nipples. Mike moaned as Ben wrapped his lips around his cock and swallowed him whole. He missed the warmth of his mouth immediately though as Ben lifted his head back up in favor of kissing his cock and his bollocks. 

Ben poured some lube out of the bottle onto his hand and rubbed his hands together. As he stroked his boyfriend's cock again, he also used his other hand to gently tease Mike's arsehole. He saw Mike shudder and shake as his index finger circled around Mike's hole. Just before pushing his finger in in earnest with his palm facing up, Ben rubbed the head of Mike's cock and Mike squeezed his nipple. The feeling Mike had at first was much like the feeling he had when he was doing this alone for the first time. The lube helped, but it felt painful and uncomfortable. Ben had noticed that Mike tensed up. "You have to relax, love. Focus on your pleasure," he said quietly and calmly but loud enough for Mike to hear him. Mike took a deep breath, squeezed his nipple harder, and tried to focus on his boyfriend's hand on his cock. Ben pulled the tip of his finger out, stroked Mike some more, gave him some kisses on his thighs, then tried again with his index finger. Again, Mike tensed up. 

"You have to stop clenching, love. Try to relax," he said, not removing his finger this time, leaving it where it was as he watched Mike take another deep breath and let his muscles go lax. From that alone, he felt the tightness around his finger let up a little, though it was still very tight. Just a bit tighter than the feeling of his own ass when Ben fingers himself. Mike took more and more deep breaths as Ben started pushing his finger in more and more. Before Mike knew it, Ben had put his finger all the way in up to the joint connecting his finger to his hand. 

"How does it feel, love?" Ben asked quietly, stroking Mike's cock while he wiggled his finger ever so slightly. 

"Feels tight," Mike responded succinctly, taking another breath. He could feel every tiny movement of Ben's finger, and it didn't feel good. He still felt the pain, but it wasn't bad enough to ask Ben to stop, especially since Ben was wanking him, kissing his thighs, and being very gentle. 

"I know, love. It's gonna feel good, just wait," Ben said, now moving his finger, curving it upwards in a come-here motion and trying to stimulate Mike's prostate in earnest this time. After several seconds, he felt it up against his fingertip and stroked it gently to see how Mike would react. He heard Mike moan softly and he opened his eyes. Mike looked up at the ceiling, feeling blood suddenly rush through him, and he didn't exactly know how he felt. He still felt the pain, but the way that Ben just moved his finger also made him feel an adrenaline rush. Ben watched, unsure if Mike felt really good because he wasn't voicing anything and he moaned once, but gave nothing else. He pulled the tip of his finger back, without moving his wrist, and poked the gland again, all while keeping a steady rhythm on his cock, and he saw more fluid, a whiter color than pre cum leak out of Mike's cock.

"That, I want, give me more of that, more," Mike said in a desperate tone, then Ben knew that he was gonna get him there. Ben touched the gland and moved his fingertip in a circle around the edges of Mike's prostate, eliciting more moans and sticky fluid from him. "Ben, fuck, please, again," Mike begged, squeezing his nipple hard. Ben did as Mike asked, moved his finger around in a circle, over and over again, watching as Mike arched his back off of the bed and squirmed at the touch. "Fuck. Fuck," Mike whispered, his arsehole squeezing involuntarily against Ben's finger. Ben felt his prostate enlarge against his finger as he applied a steady pressure, moving his finger in circles over it. He stopped wanking Mike so he could focus more on massaging him, instead he started pressing soft, wet kisses to his thighs. 

"You look beautiful like this, Mike," Ben whispered softly. "Tell me how it feels, love. Is it good?" Ben asked, although he could tell from Mike's body shaking as he kept on touching him. 

"So, so good. Please, more," Mike begged, unsure of exactly what he wanted. All he knew was that he wanted more of that feeling. Ben softly, gently, and slowly started inserting another finger alongside the first one, kissing and nibbling at the skin on Mike's inner thighs to distract him from the pain. The second one was much easier, and since Mike was already very aroused, the pain wasn't so overwhelming that time. Ben did the same as before, circling two fingers now against Mike's prostate, and it felt even better, it amplified the pleasure even more with more pressure. "Ugh, don't stop, Ben, please," Mike whined, throwing his head back and giving himself over to the feeling. It felt so much better than touching his nipples or stroking his cock or even sucking his cock, it felt so new and so exciting and so good. He could feel his heart beat racing and his blood pumping, even in his ears and in his head. Suddenly, his body started shaking, even harder than before, and he couldn't control it, it felt like the best orgasm that he has ever had. He didn't just feel it in his cock, he felt it deep inside his chest and all the way through his toes. Ben didn't even stop massaging his prostate while he orgasmed, so the feeling just continued, and he shook for a really long time until he just started twitching every odd few seconds and then finally he stopped moving. 

It felt like he lost complete control of his body while he was orgasming, now he was back, Ben removed his fingers, and Mike let his legs down fast, feeling a dull ache in his muscles from holding them up for so long. When he came to, opened his eyes, and took a deep breath, he immediately started laughing. Ben was sat next to him on the bed, one leg folded in front of him, the other laying next to Mike's tired legs. He brought a hand to Mike's lower stomach and gently stroked him there. "Wow," Mike said, sighing when he finally stopped laughing. "I have never felt that before. That was better than anything, that... was better than playing guitar with Dave Grohl," Mike said, chuckling once more, eliciting a laugh from Ben as well. 

"See, I told you it was really nice," Ben said, smiling from seeing his happy lover. It felt really good just to please him. 

"You have to come down here and kiss me, because I dont think I can move now," he said, pouting slightly. Ben laid down on his side, curled up to his boyfriend, kissed him slowly and tenderly, and caressed his jawline in the meantime, as well. "You've paralysed me, Ben Ebbrell," Mike joked, smiling wide against Ben's mouth. He rubbed his nose on Ben's. 

"Yeah, now you know how I feel, love," Ben smiled and laughed.


	8. I love being your boyfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So maybe there was a little blushing when Ben brought him around to meet James. He remembered that Ben said this was a friend from when he was still a student at the school and James was a year below him. He also remembered that this James actually already knew. "You're the Mike that Ben never stops talking about!" he said as he extended a hand to shake and also put his other hand up on Mike's shoulder. 
> 
> "Oh, really? You say he never stops talking?" Mike replied, his cheeks probably going pink. 
> 
> "Absolutely not, mate. And you should have seen him before he asked you out, he was constantly waiting for you to talk to him," James laughed warmly, giving Ben a friendly shove.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the new chapter!

Mike told Ben that he should really wear trousers that matched his suit jacket. And Ben didnt know anything about fashion but given that Mike looked really hot in his suit, he trusted his boyfriend's judgment. 

"So, what's this event for again?" Mike asked as he not so subtly oogled his boyfriend as he took his trousers off and changed them. 

"Well, it's kind of a few things. For instructors and alumni to catch up, for students to meet and thank scholarship donors, for students to network... That sort of stuff," he said, turning around for Mike when he had his new trousers on because it was obvious that Mike would like to see. 

"Do your colleagues usually bring boyfriends or girlfriends or... You know?" Mike asked, taking a moment to appreciate the fit of the trousers. 

"Yeah, its kind of like a gala. One of the biggest events we have during the school year," Ben said, taking Mike's hand as he sat down next to him. "You dont... Dont have to go. It's really okay," Ben said, sensing Mike's hesitancy at going out to meet all of Ben's students and colleagues as his boyfriend. He would be lying if he said that the resistance didn't hurt but he just had to remind himself just how new this was for Mike, that he should be patient because he loves him. 

"No, I... I want to go. Do you think that people will... Will ask us questions about us or say something?" Mike asked quietly, squeezing Ben's hand. 

"No, Mike. I don't think so. I think that people will just think it's normal. There are other gay and lesbian alumni who have RSVP'd that will be coming with their partners as well," Ben answered softly, hoping to quell some of Mike's anxiety about people's judgments. "Most people there who will know me closely enough will know that I am gay already. Two years ago, I went to this event as a student with Alex as my date," Ben explained. 

"Alex. Is Alex going to be there?" Mike asked. 

"Yes, he RSVP'd," Ben said. 

And Mike started to sweat because why would Ben take note that Alex was on the list? 

"Is he going to be there with a boyfriend?" Mike asked, letting Ben's hand loose so that their hands were just laying next to each other. 

"I dont know whats going on in his life anymore, Mike. All I know is that after we graduated he became a chef at a restaurant outside of London," Ben explained. "Mike, would you like to go now?" He asked, standing up and pulling on his boyfriend's hand. Mike nodded quietly, sliding his suit jacket back on before leaving the bedroom behind Ben. 

"Did you... Did you ever hook up with Alex after breaking up?" Mike asked, clearly feeling bothered that meeting Ben's ex was inevitable tonight. 

"No, Mike. Hooking up was the center of the problem of my relationship with Alex... Remember?" He asked quietly as they walked out of the flat and he locked the door behind him. 

"Yeah, but you two, you had a really strong emotional connection right?" Mike wondered, looking down at his feet the entire way down the lift to the 0 floor. 

"Used to. I dont want him back. I never did. I dont think about him like that anymore," Ben tried making clear. "And what I had with him just doesnt matter anymore. Theres no reason to be jealous and if you'd like proof, just think about everything that we did two nights ago. Anything that I ever did with Alex... It never even came close to that," Ben swore. And that did make Mike feel better. 

"That was fun..." Mike mumbled under his breath as he smiled mischievously and they walked to Ben's car. 

"Yeah, and it would be more fun if I took that suit off of you when we get back home," Ben said, before pulling on Mike's tie to get him to bend down so he could kiss him. His lips and his tongue communicated much better what his words could not. Mike moaned into the kiss, pushing Ben up against the side of his car and kissing him until he ran out of breath. Ben winked and straightened out Mike's tie before leaving him and going to the other side of the car to enter the drivers seat. 

Mike wasn't prepared for all the emotions that flooded his brain and his heart when Ben introduced him to the first colleague they ran into at the event. 'This is my boyfriend, Mike.' These words were said aloud, right there in front of him. He shook hands with a bunch of new people who only knew him as Benjamin Ebbrell's boyfriend. Now, not only did they know it, so did everyone else. All of Ben's colleagues. His mates. His students. They all knew that he was Ben's boyfriend. They all knew that he belonged to Ben. 

And it was exhilirating. Mike also met spouses and significant others who had accompanied their partners to the event. What this was... It was normal. It was something that all couples do at parties, introduce their friends to their new partner. 

So maybe there was a little blushing when Ben brought him around to meet James. He remembered that Ben said this was a friend from when he was still a student at the school and James was a year below him. He also remembered that this James actually already knew. "You're the Mike that Ben never stops talking about!" he said as he extended a hand to shake and also put his other hand up on Mike's shoulder. 

"Oh, really? You say he never stops talking?" Mike replied, his cheeks probably going pink. 

"Absolutely not, mate. And you should have seen him before he asked you out, he was constantly waiting for you to talk to him," James laughed warmly, giving Ben a friendly shove. 

"I wouldnt say it was constant..." Ben mumbled, feeling slightly embarrassed and Mike could tell by the blush that creeped up on his boyfriend's cheeks. He had no idea what for. What sort of boyfriend would get upset in someway that his partner was crazy about him? No, certainly, that was not Mike. The taller man stood closer to Ben so that their sides were touching and he slid an arm around Ben's neck. 

"Well, agree to disagree. The point is that you two, you look happy together," James said with a soft and gentle smile. He wondered if the pair had stopped to talk with Alex. Who was avoiding who exactly? James had been around for the whole relationship, was good friends with the two of them back when Alex still studied at the institute. And he had thought they were a good couple, they seemed to never get into fights and were always very sweet on each other. James, he wasn't privy to the intimacies of their relationship, however. The only reason that Ben gave him for the mutual break up was that they had lost interest in each other and didn't feel like having a long distance relationship would make it better. 

Even though James was once friends with Alex too, it had been a while since they talked what with him being almost two hours from London and them both being busy. He had talked with Alex before meeting Ben and Mike, as Alex had arrived first. Things had been good with him. The head chef at the restaurant he worked at noticed him and what a great chef he is, so he was given the opportunity to create some new dishes for the menu all on his own. Besides that he had made some new friends in Brighton, reconnected with some old ones, and all that. No new boyfriend though. And, James was hoping this wouldnt happen, Alex had asked about Ben. 'Is he with someone new?' James wasn't stupid. He knew that this break up had to do with something more than just "lost interest" but he had no idea what. He deflected, just said 'yeah, i think so' then excused himself. He now also excused himself from this conversation with Ben and Mike too. Because he wasn't about to tell Ben that Alex had asked about him. It wasn't his business. 

Well, of course, Alex had noticed Ben walking around with a tall blond man on his shoulder. Ben had not because his eyes were not wandering. He either looked at whomever he was introducing Mike to or he looked at Mike. Alex thought that he must be really infatuated with this new boyfriend. He was really hot and looked like he could make Ben very happy. But Alex didnt know if it was a smart move to go over to them and catch up with Ben. By the time his feet brought him over to Ben, though, it was too late for his brain to rethink the idea. 

Ben greeted him with a great big hi and a hug. "Mike, this is Alex. Alex, this is my boyfriend, Michael," Ben said as he pulled away from the hug and stood himself firmly next to Mike instead with an arm around his waist. Mike extended his hand out to shake Alex's hand with a hello. "Mike, this is the Alex that I dated while we were in school together," Ben said, now removing any doubt from anyone's mind that everyone here knew what this was. A meeting of two exes where one had a new man and it appeared the other didn't. Knowing what was happening didnt make it any easier for Mike to understand what he should be doing with himself at this point. He decided that maybe it would be best to just let the two old friends talk. And took a sick sort of comfort in knowing that he's got a bigger dick than this guy. It was pretty clear that Ben has a type though. Dirty blonds. Though, Alex, he's just as short as Ben and has a very smug smile, or so Mike believes. 

"How long have you two been together?" He asked. Which was strange because no one else has asked them that tonight. Well, what does he care? Was their relationship any less valuable because its been going on for 5 days versus the 2 years Alex had with Ben? 2 years isnt anything, compared to a lifetime. An intrusive thought ran through Mike's brain. [i]Tell him that you and Ben have really satisfying sex.[/i] But no. Of course not, that would be really inappropriate. Another intrusive thought came up and Mike started feeling like he had something to prove because they haven't really 'gone all the way.' [i]Tell Ben that you're gonna fuck him hard when they get out of this event.[/i] Yet again, inappropriate. 

Mike was struggling to find a reason to be so jealous and internally competitive with Ben's ex. The one that didn't break his heart, right? The one that Ben got on with really well, right? Except for that one thing? He tried to quell his doubts. [i]If Ben wanted to be with this guy, he would be. And he's not. He's mine.[/i] All his. And as much was evident by the way that Ben had introduced him to all of his colleagues and students. As much was evident by Ben's arm around his waist and his chocolate eyes gazing up at him like Mike's got the answer to the universe. 

"It's been almost a week," Ben said, smile across his face. Because of course it isnt a big deal and Alex isnt going to start assuming anything about them. This was all just Mike's insecurities talking. He should really just calm down. "Are you with anyone?" Ben asked. 

"Kind of. It's complicated," Alex replied. This statement piqued Mike's interest. Ben, on the other hand, could not care less. He moved on the small talk with a question about how the restaurant in Brighton was and some other question that Mike paid no attention to until everyone came to the silent agreement that this was the perfect amount of catch up and they could all move on with their lives now. 

Mike and Ben stayed at the event for about an hour or so more before enough people had started trickling out that it wouldnt be awkward for them to leave at that point. 

"I love being your boyfriend," Mike said randomly when they made it back to Ben's flat. 

Ben giggled and Mike's heart grew two sizes hearing it. Yeah, he definitely loves it. "Any particular reason why you thought of that, love?" He asked, thinking the statement so out of the blue, yet clearly flattered. 

"I just do. I love it when you tell people. Your friends and your colleagues. I love putting my arm around you or holding your hand. I feel really lucky that I get to do that. In front of other people," Mike said in an attempt to explain. 

Tonight was the first night that they were a couple outside of their flats. It was big. Ben understood. When he went on his first date with a boy in public, he felt anxious to display his affections for him where other people could watch, but he also felt such a thrill from it. After hiding who you are from the world for so long, letting it out felt so amazing and freeing. Ben was glad that he was there for Mike when it happened to him. He didnt answer, just walked to Mike with a big smile on his face before pulling him down and kissing him. His kiss felt like a dream, all warmth and lips and tongue, good enough for Mike to get drunk off of. They both smiled into the kiss, not wanting to let go of each other. Ben licked Mike's lips as a way of asking for permission and Mike opened his mouth a little wider so Ben could push inside and lick Mike's own tongue. As he did that, he also loosened Mike's tie with his deft fingers. He gave Mike one last peck before pulling back entirely, choosing instead to embrace Mike and lay his head on Mike's chest. 

"I'm tired, love. Would you like to go to bed with me?" He asked. As much as Ben wanted to make good on that promise to take off Mike's suit and have his way with him, the event had drained him for the most part and he would really rather go to bed snuggling with Mike. Mike said of course, recognizing Ben's state and feeling exhausted himself. Ben thought there was no better way to live than with Mike's hand softly stroking his back as they drifted away together.


	9. I would never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Who cares, Mike? What would be so bad if that's what Barry assumed about us? Do you think its disgusting that we are together?" Ben pressed further, irritated that Mike wasn't even admitting his wrong. 
> 
> "Ben- what? Of fucking course, no. But I'm just not ready to tell him yet... I thought _you_ said that was okay," Mike fought back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is in the tags above but I should warn you that the beginning of the chapter contains some internalized biphobia and homophobia. All part of Mike discovering what his sexuality means for him and his relationships. If you want to skip that, scroll until you get to OC Liv asking Ben if he has a boyfriend. As well, there is sexual content once our guys get back to Ben's flat (and pretty heavy sexual flirtation prior to that too). There's the usual hand/finger kink, dirty talk, come play/eating that you see come up pretty often in this fic, and also some intercrural sex and mild verbal/sexual degrading. Some plot in the last four paragraphs so if you skip the sexies because there's a kink you dont like, please go ahead and read that last bit. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading!

Sitting in this pub with Mike and his mates and pretending like he doesn't absolutely adore Mike and want to kiss him like mad everytime Mike smiles or bats his eyelashes would have proven much, much more difficult for Ben were it not for all the reassurances that Mike loves him back. He doesn't want to do this. He doesnt want to pretend and he doesnt want to hide and he doesnt want to have to sneak his hand under the table across to Mike's knee whenever he wants to feel close to Mike. But this is what he has to do, at least for now. And he understands because he has been through this, all of this, before. Ben knows what its like to stay up at night wondering if the people you love most dearly would hate you if only they knew the truth about you. He just has to hope that this doesn't go on, forever and ever. Mike has already started off on the right path - he has already fully acknowledged that this, that Ben, is a part of him. That this is who he is. 

The difficult part has been figuring out how to tell it to people who have always known Mike as something different, someone who loved women and that's it. It's so clearly not him, at least not anymore because he loves Ben and Ben is definitely _not that_ Will they think that Mike was only mates with them because he was interested? That this bond was all part of a plan to bed or seduce one of them? Of course, none of that made any sense. But Mike's brain wandered and conjured up crazy and impossible scenarios to scare him into keeping this secret. It's completely irrational, but knowing that doesnt make telling the truth any easier. 

He tries so hard to distance himself from the concept of 'Mike might be gay' that he kind of goes too far. On this night, Jamie stayed home for the beginning of an all weekend long anniversary celebration. Instead, Barry invited his girlfriend, Hayley, along with a friend named Olivia that he and Mike knew from uni who was back in town on business. Mike, he was jealous of Olivia because she was so open about her sexuality. He thought that maybe he was somewhat like her, just open to new experiences. But he also thought that, _yeah, Liv's allowed to be unrestrained._ Because just think about how a male partner would react to Liv's escapades with strange girls in club bathrooms. He would willingly allow someone in to participate. With him... Mike felt like things were different. Like he wasn't allowed to be fluid, because he had to pick one. 

Liv is doing all sorts of things to get on Ben's nerves like looking into Mike's eyes for too long or putting her hand on his shoulder. And when Liv puts a question up the table- "How much would it to take for you blokes to kiss another bloke? And Hayley, how much for you to kiss me?" - Hayley just laughs and says modestly, 'Well, I wouldnt do it for any number of pounds because I'm in love with Baz.' Barry leans in to kiss her softly and thank her for saying so, but he would be ashamed if she turned down a million dollar offer to kiss Liv or any other woman. Barry says that it would depend on the man - 'Are we talking like... A handsome bloke or like Rowan Atkinson?' - and that gets a laugh out of the table. Ben, well, he's got nothing to do hide, he says he would do it for free - 'Alternatively, you'd have to pay me handsomely to snog a woman.' - that gets Liv excited, gets Barry and Hayley intrigued, and makes Mike uncomfortable. Because what does this look like now? Now it is evident that Mike has invited an openly gay man out for drinks with his mates, twice. Mike never invites people unfamiliar with his mates to their nights out. 

He fears that this may start looking strange. He starts to panic a little. He vehemently denies that he would ever do such a thing - "I wouldn't kiss a bloke even if all the women on earth didn't exist." Little does he know that this bold statement only makes things worse. Particularly because Barry already knows this isn't true because he saw the photo Mike took. 

"No, that's just not true because you've kissed me, mate," Barry replied with snark. 

"That didn't happen! You always say that, but why dont I remember?" Mike challenged back. 

"Its because you were shitfaced that night, mate. But I remember that. I was at that party that night as well. You kissed Baz right on the lips after someone dared ya!" Liv said, once again pushing her hand up against Mike's shoulder. Mike didnt let up, though. 

"No! Bloody hell. This is a conspiracy. You two, you are conspiring against me, that's what this is! I have never snogged you and you couldnt pay me to snog a bloke, never!" Mike shouted back with tears in his eyes from laughing so hard at Barry and Liv's accusations. Kiss a man? _Oh, I would never,_ he led on. 

"Well, should you ever have a change of heart, Mikey, your buddy Ben here has offered a kiss free of charge," Liv joked. This only led to even more denials, even said something along the lines of disgust. Ben's blood began to boil as he looked for an excuse to just end this point of conversation and go on about something else. Slowly, the group transitioned into another topic. 

"I think we all need some more beers, I'll go put more drinks on our tab. Mike?" Ben sighed as he stood up, asking Mike to come and help him pick up some drinks from the bar. They asked the barman for 5 more bottles but Ben had to stay at the bar for a little longer. Just to chat. 

"What the hell, Mike?" Ben said, to begin with. But he knew that didn't really mean much. "What was it with you going on and on about how you wouldn't kiss a man for all the money in the world? That the thought of kissing me repulsed you?" he said quietly so that only Mike would hear him, and his boyfriend could tell by the tone of his voice and the flush in his cheeks that he was really angry about it. 

"Ben, I-" Mike tried to laugh it off. "You know I didn't mean it. I guess I... I just got scared that Barry would assume something like us being together after you just openly admitted you were gay and that I had invited you out to the pub twice," Mike said in defense of himself. 

"Who cares, Mike? What would be so bad if that's what Barry assumed about us? Do you think its disgusting that we are together?" Ben pressed further, irritated that Mike wasn't even admitting his wrong. 

"Ben- what? Of fucking course, no. But I'm just not ready to tell him yet... I thought _you_ said that was okay," Mike fought back, now pushing some blame onto his boyfriend. 

"Yeah, I said it's okay if you want to wait to tell them that you're bisexual. Not that its okay for you to act like you are viscerally repulsed by the simple thought of kissing me," Ben said, affirmative of how he felt that Mike had just crossed a line by how offensive his whole answer to that stupid question was. "Or that its okay for you to just let your mate Liv flirt with you like that, without giving her any indication that you aren't interested," he added. 

"Ebbers, it's obvious that I didn't mean what I said. I... I love kissing you, alright? And Liv is not flirting, okay, thats just how she is. Its gonna start looking weird that we've been standing here for so long getting drinks. We can talk about this later, Ben. Im sorry," Mike said dismissively as he grabbed three beers from the counter and walked back to the table with his mates. Ben begrudgingly followed behind him, willing the scowl on his face to disappear. When they got back to the table, they handed out the beers and joined back in the conversation. After a while, Barry and Hayley said good bye for the night as they were ready to head on back home. Ben wished that Liv would do the same but she didn't. He took the seat across from Mike in the booth that Barry and Hayley abandoned. 

"So, Benny," Liv began in her insufferably annoying tone. "Do ya have a boyfriend?" She asked, crossing her arms in front of her and looking intently at Ben. 

"No... No boyfriend. I broke up with my boyfriend, Alex, 7 months ago," he said, crossing his leg under the table when he felt Mike try to slide his leg against him. 

"You broke up?! Why was that? You're quite a looker, I can' t imagine why he would let you go," she complimented him, which he admittedly did feel flattered. People dont usually say things like that about him. 

"You know, I dont know why we broke up," Ben said brazenly, in nothing more than effort to get Mike to feel bad like he did. Mike, of course, recognized this. 

"Have you seen each other since the break up?" Liv questioned, completely unaware of the importance of the exchange of glances and squeezing of knee caps between the two men sat next to her. 

"Yesterday," Ben said as he felt Mike's fingers press on top of his leg. "Ran into each other at a party," he elaborated. 

"Did you hook up?" Liv gasped, intrigued. 

"No... But I think there was a spark," Ben lied, then feeling Mike's whole hand wrap around his leg and squeeze hard. 

"A spark? So do you think you'll be getting back together soon?" She asked. 

"No, not likely. Im interested in someone else anyhow," he said, which caused the squeeze to lighten up. 

"Oh, tell me about him. Why dont you just go and get him? How could he tell you no?" Liv asked. 

Ben didn't know what to say now to keep Mike's secret. He wasn't a cock. He wasn't going to say something incriminating to out Mike, no matter how angry Mike made him. "He's very handsome... But I dont know him well. Its just a little crush, really," he said dismissively, and Liv just goes on to compliment Ben again, and the subject turns then to Mike and his love life. Mike doesn't give straight answers and just says that he doesn't want a relationship, and he thinks thats okay.

"When I find the one... And Im ready to be with her... Then I'll know," he said. 

"My God, Mike, what a lass you are," Liv said, rolling her eyes and playfully pushing Mike's shoulder. The night goes on far too long for Ben's liking, him still being upset and Liv still making subtle passes as Mike, he was about ready to give up on going home with Mike and leaving just to get out of the situation. It was starting to get too much. But then Liv said she should go back to her hotel to get some rest before her train leaves tomorrow, and the couple stayed behind a few minutes longer so that Liv wouldnt see them leaving together. 

"So, you felt a spark with Alex, is that it?" Mike whispered in Ben's ear as they're walking out of the pub to the nearest bus stop. 

"Yeah, and so what if I did?" Ben said defiantly, not even turning to look Mike in the face. 

"You're bloody gorgeous when you're angry," Mike whispered again. Ben tried to ignore the rush of blood straight to his cock when he felt Mike's hot breath on his ear. It didn't help that he drank 5 bottles and was experiencing these warm feelings coursing through him. "How angry would you get if I told you that I liked how much Liv was flirting with me?" He inquired quietly, even though they waited at the stop with no one near them at all. "Or what if I told you that I liked my kiss with Barry better than all of yours?" He asked, reading Ben's face carefully. Ben was already flushed from all the alcohol, but he was biting his lips and clenching his jaw. Tell tale signs of angriness. 

"I'll bet Barry's never done this," Ben replied, noting how there likely wasn't anyone looking at them, and reached his hand out to palm Mike's crotch and squeeze. 

"Do you not like it? That Barry had kissed me before. That I lied when I told you you were my first," Mike continued, stepping closer into Ben's space. Ben just didnt respond. "Does it make you angry?" He asked, lilt to his tone as he was very excited to hear the answer to his question. 

"It makes my blood boil," Ben replied honestly. 

"Do you think that I am repulsed at the thought of kissing another man than Barry? That I am disgusted by you?" Mike asked, leaning his head down to give Ben a peck on the lips, the slightest sense of intimacy. 

"Fuck you, Mike," Ben said, crossing his arms and willing his arousal to go down. He had no right to be aroused by this. But Mike's warm breath and affirmative demeanor very much attracted him. 

"I cant fucking wait to have you when we get home, so can show you just how fucking disgusting I think you are. I think that you'll be surprised," Mike said, causing Ben to shiver. 

"Yeah, and how much am I gonna have to pay for it? Apparently, you wouldnt kiss me for all the money in the world," Ben replied stubbornly, moving himself away from Mike's presence with a big step to the right. But Mike was right back on him anyway. 

"Darling, you can have this for free. I'll give you anything that you want for this," he said, which actually and physically pulled a whimper from Ben. He was weak. There was no way he could stay angry. Not with how hard Mike was making him. The bus finally arrived and the couple shared adjoining seats, once again, even though there were only three people sat on the bus so there was plenty of room. They stayed silent through the duration of the ride back to Ben's flat, both thinking of what would happen when they finally got through that door. And they did not even get that far and started in the elevator. 

Mike pinned Ben by the hips against the wall of the elevator and kissed him furiously, clumsily even, knocking their teeth together and bruising their lips. Ben moaned into the kiss, bringing his hands up to the back of Mike's head and pulling him even closer. He shoved him off when the bell rang signifying that Ben's floor was next. The taller man leaned up against the wall and quickly took several breaths, trying to get it together. His legs didnt start moving for a couple seconds until he had to scurry out of the elevator before the doors closed again. 

"Does Barry kiss you like that?" Ben asked in a high pitched voice. "Do you think Liv would?" He asked again. "Maybe you should leave right now so you can find someone better," he said as he fumbled his keys into his door and opened it. Mike pushed him inside and immediately shoved him up against the wall. Their lips were connected at last, with more tongue and spit this time. They ran out of breath quickly. 

"Youve got no reason to be jealous, Ben. But please dont stop because it gets me so fucking hard," Mike said, taking a beat between each of those last three words. They stopped now to slough off all of their outerwear then just as soon as Ben's boots were off, he was pressed up against the wall again, at the mercy of Mike's strong hands holding him in place. 

"You want me to be jealous?" Ben asked in a low voice. 

"I saw the look on your face whenever Liv touched me, when she complimented me. So angry. So beautiful," Mike said as he attached his lips to Ben's neck and sucked on his skin, pulling a moan from him. 

But that wasn't even the half of it. "I was angry because you said men disgusted you," Ben clarified, trying to hold himself together. The thought of pushing Mike away crossed his mind, to punish him for his offense, but he couldn't. Not with the feeling of Mike's lips on his throat or his smell intoxicating him even further. It didn't matter how angry he was before because now all he wanted was Mike's cock. 

"Yeah and what does that look like now? This is what repulsion looks like?" Mike asked, moving down to kiss and suck on Ben's collarbone. 

"Clearly not," Ben answered, moaning as Mike continued ravaging him. "You're not very good at hiding things, Mike," he said, caressing the back of his boyfriend's neck and rolling his hips against his body. 

"You make me not want to hide anything," Mike said as he brought his hands to the hem of Ben's shirt and pulling it up over his head. He ran his fingers through the dark hair on his chest, moving his hand with purpose to get Ben's nipples stiff. "Come on," he said once he felt like Ben was sufficiently keyed up, he grabbed his hand and pulled him to the bedroom. "Fuck, Ben, I can't believe you'd think for one second that I want someone else," Mike said in a deep voice that shook Ben's very being as he spoke warmly into Ben's ear. "Why? Why would I want anyone else when I have all of this?" he asked in an even quieter whisper before sucking Ben's earlobe into his mouth and gently pushing him down onto the bed. 

With his fingers wrapped in the belt loops of Mike's pants, Ben also pulled Mike down with him. Mike loomed over Ben, holding himself up by his forearms, and keeping Ben in place under his hips between his spread legs. "My god, I can't resist you, Michael," Ben moaned, moving his hands to Mike's chest to undo the buttons on his shirt. He didn't get past the top 4 buttons because once there was enough chest exposed Ben just had to wiggle down and lean his head up to Mike's chest to kiss his skin. "I would never want to," Ben whispered loud enough for Mike to hear. He continued undoing buttons until finally the shirt was open and he could move the fabric away from Mike's nipples. Just the thought of getting Mike hard from this excited Ben. He opened his mouth and licked Mike's nipple with the tip of his tongue, moving it back and forth until the little nub fully hardened. Then he pulled the whole areola into his mouth and sucked softly. Meanwhile, Mike was turning into a mess above him, moaning and shaking and sweating. 

"Fuck, Ben... Don't leave the other one out, please," Mike begged from above him, and whimpered the moment that Ben's tongue touched the other nipple. He gave careful attention to it, sucked on it and gently grazed his teeth against it, feeling all of the little bumps raise against his tongue, greatly appreciative of how Mike's body shook with each soft touch. Ben wiggled his way back up the bed and placed his hands on the back of Mike's leg to guide him into pulling his knees forward so he could sit up on them, as Ben too sat up. He grabbed Mike's face in his hands and gently kissed him like Mike was liable to break apart if he was too rough. Ben wasn't even thinking of anything else, focused only on the taste of Mike's tongue and the softness of his lips. He wasn't thinking of anything else, until he felt Mike's hips begin to thrust against him. That painfully reminded him of how hard his cock was, straining against the fabric of his trousers, and feeling Mike's cock grind against him only aroused him even more. He let his hands fall away from Mike's face and moved them to caress Mike's lower back. Mike moved his hips slowly, rolling them against Ben's crotch, craving some friction. 

The taller man slid his hands down Ben's sides and grabbed him by the hips, holding him firmly as he continued humping. He noticed that the spot on Ben's throat where he sucked on his skin was beginning to turn purple. With the hickey and the pair of them grinding against each other without removing their trousers, part of Mike felt like a teenager again. Just desperate and in love. He didnt want to get his hands or his body off of Ben for even a second. 

"Yes, fuck, that feels so good," Ben moaned, leaning his head back and pulling Mike even closer to him by pressing his hands on Mike's back. Mike's thrusts started becoming more erratic and shallow as both their cocks grew more and more erect. Ben nearly thought that Mike was ready to cum, judging by the noises he was making. A steady stream of groans and curses fell from his lips as he grinded his hips against Ben. But as he humped Ben, his erection started to hurt more and more, straining to break the confines of his jeans. Both of them stopped and began frantically messing with the buttons and zippers on the trousers, so that they could shove them off. Not even all the way, just about halfway down their thighs, because they didnt have time to take them off before they had to get back on each other. Mike humped Ben again, now rubbing his big cock, leaking pre-cum, on Ben's smaller cock. When they touched, both men let out the longest groan. 

"Fuck, I'm so hard for you," Mike cried as he carried on another rhythm, slowly, agonizingly slowly, grinding against Ben. The friction was not enough that way, so Ben wrapped both his hands around their two cocks and wanked them both off. It felt incredible. On one side of Mike's cock was Ben's dick, hard and wet, sliding against him, and on the other side was Ben's fingers wanking him. Ben was letting out the lewdest moans, only seconds from coming as he felt Mike's hard, thick cock grind against him. He couldn't help himself. His jaw dropped as he had a very powerful orgasm, his spurts shooting in between the both of them and coating their chests. Mike admired Ben's beautiful face as he was overcome with pleasure, unable to say any words. He looked so fucking sexy like this and Mike felt such pride at the simple fact that he was the one that brought him there. 

As soon as Ben was done, he stopped touching himself from the over sensitivity. Mike had to pry Ben's hands off of him, because he was still wanking him, because he didn't want to cum yet. Mike took his own trousers all the way off and shoved them somewhere in the room, and then took Ben's off for him when he noticed that Ben was still catching his breath. Ben still had his eyes closed, feeling a little wiped out and weak. Mike touched all the cum on both of them, coated his hands with it and Ben was expecting fingers in his mouth, but instead he felt his thighs being coated in his cum. Mike moved over to the side of the bed and fished out a bottle of lube from the bedside table and wanked himself with a handful of lube. He still didn't feel ready for anal penetration, even though sex with Ben was really hot and turned him on so much. It was something that he never did before and he didn't want to mess it up, he wanted to talk to Ben before doing anything. But he was reading up and watching some gay porn in his spare time, and he learned of a really hot sex position without any penetration, that he really wanted to try now. 

Mike pushed Ben into lying down on the bed, grabbed his side and rolled him so that he was laying on his stomach. Ben, almost instincually, spread his legs excited at the thought that Mike was finally gonna fuck him hard and rough and unforgiving. But Mike pulled his legs back together before smearing the leftover lube in between Ben's thighs where his cum was already. Ben felt the warmth and slipperiness between his thighs, and he locked his ankles together now so that his legs would be as close together as possible now that it seemed that was what Mike wanted. Mike planted his forearms on either side of Ben's head and his knees on either side of Ben's legs, then carefully lowered his hips and his cock easily slipped between the wonderfully warm and wet crevice between Ben's thighs. He groaned as his hipbone met the back of Ben's legs, and he felt the tip of his cock touch the bedsheets below. He lifted his hips up again and began thrusting into Ben's thighs, fast and shallow thrusts. After humping Ben and Ben wanking him, he was ready to cum hard and fast. Not only that but Ben's thighs felt so warm around his cock, and it felt tight enough that it was like wanking himself off with his boyfriend's thighs. He couldnt even imagine the tightness of Ben's bum. Whenever they did take that step, Mike would probably cum in five seconds flat. But for now, he was fucking Ben's thighs and on the verge of an orgasm after a couple minutes. Ben could tell from the noises Mike was making, from the shallow breathing. 

"Fuck... Baby, you feel amazing, I- ugh, I love this," Mike moaned before stopping for a second to take some deep breaths, resting his forehead on Ben's shoulder blade. Part of him felt incredible from the delicious friction around his cock, and other parts of him, his arms and his legs, were starting to burn. 

"Mike, love, let me get on top," Ben said as he lifted a hand behind his head to find and caress Mike's cheek. He could tell that Mike was getting tired, and he could also tell how badly it was that his boyfriend wanted to come like that, with his cock in between both of his thighs. Mike pulled out and laid himself face up on the right side of the bed next to Ben. Before climbing on top, Ben took a second to kiss Mike deeply and passionately. Then he propped himself up on his knees and looped his arms underneath Mike's shoulders. Mike spread his legs to give Ben room and helped guide his cock to the space in between Ben's thighs. Ben lowered his body until his knees touched the bedsheets. Then he lifted himself back up and down in slow and deliberate strokes, as if doing pushups with a cock in between his thighs. He opened his mouth to kiss and suck on Mike's nipples again. In no time, Mike was moaning like a pornstar all over again. He groaned in a high pitched squeaky tone which told Ben that his boyfriend was very close. 

"That's it, love. I want you to cum for me. I want to hear you say my name," he said into Mike's chest while bumping up the pace of his strokes. When Ben's lips reattached to his nipples, he couldn't stop himself from coming. He held onto Ben's hips as his body started to buck away from the sheets, moaned his name just as Ben had asked. His cum splattered the back of Ben's thighs and legs. Mike was happy to open his eyes to Ben's face right above his. "You look so gorgeous when you cum," Ben said as soon Mike made eye contact with him. Mike could only groan in response, still not fully with him yet, and Ben giggled at his reaction. They kissed again, soft and satisfied kisses, while Mike traced his fingertips down Ben's back, over his bum, to the streaks of cum that coated his legs. He rubbed the back of Ben's thighs, spreading his cum all around. Ben pulled away from the kiss and just laid his head down in the crook of Mike's neck. He adjusted his body so he was laying on the left side of his body on his body and his right side in in between his body and his arm, he lifted his own left arm so it lied above Mike's head on the pillow. 

"Mhm, I want to taste you, baby," Ben whispered into Mike's ear as he lowered his right hand down to wank himself. Mike brought his fingers to Ben's open and waiting mouth and put three inside at once. Ben closed his mouth when he felt Mike's thick fingers covered in his cum, and he moved his head to suck on his fingers like he would suck on his cock. Mike reached down with his right hand to cover himself with some of the lube in between Ben's thighs and teased Ben's hole with a finger, while Ben was trying his best to wank himself slowly so that he wouldnt cum too fast. 

Mike removed his fingers from Ben's mouth, which pulled a whine from his throat, and spit twice into his fingers before putting them back. "How many fingers do you wanna take in your bum?" Mike asked as he pushed one finger in to the second knuckle. "Three in your pretty little mouth and three in your arse, is it?" Mike asked as he massaged Ben's perinium with two other fingers. He shoved the hand in Ben's mouth further in for a few seconds until Ben was gagging around his fingers and he was fervently shaking his head up and down in answer to the question. He quickly removed his hand when Ben gagged and gave him a second to breath before asking again. "What do you want, Ebbers?" He asked, keeping his hand away from Ben's mouth and staying with just one finger in his anus, feeling around for his prostate. 

Ben stopped his hand moving so that he could think a bit more clearly. He squeezed his balls as he begged, "yes, yes. Three in my mouth and three in my arse. Please. Please." He opened his mouth wide as an invitation and Mike spit in his fingers again before putting them back in. Mike would have liked to spit directly into Ben's mouth, but he couldnt because of the angles of their heads. When Mike felt something up against his finger, he proceeded to push two more in at the same time and pressed down on Ben's spot. This caused Ben to squirm, move his hand faster on his cock, moan around Mike's hand, and suck harder on Mike's fingers. Mike pulled the hand in his bum in and out at a fast pace, the same way he saw Ben finger himself, and gave his prostate constant stimulation by pressing directly on it each time. 

"That feel good, baby?" Mike asked as he continued pleasuring him. Ben shook his head up and down as he dribbled spit all over Mike's fingers. He started whining and moaning more and more. "Do you want me to take your cum on my fingers so you can suck on that too?" Mike asked, and again Ben nodded. "Of course, you do. You love sucking on my fingers and tasting cum, you dont even care if its mines or yours," Mike said in a low baritone voice that encouraged Ben to wank himself faster. "Look at you, stuffed in both holes and wanking yourself off too, trying to make yourself cum so you can swallow more of it. You're such a dirty whore," Mike said, pushing harder against Ben's prostate. Immediately, Ben's body started to shake as his orgasm was pulled out of him. His cock let out powerful spurts of sperm in between himself and his boyfriend. He stopped moving his head and his hand, and just moaned around Mike's fingers, giving himself into the sensations. Mike pulled his fingers out of Ben's arse and just watched him as he came undone in his arms. When the ejaculating and the shaking stopped, Mike did as promised and gathered up Ben's cum on his fingertips and put them on Ben's lips. Ben licked his fingers clean, and they repeated that two more times until all the cum on their chests was either swallowed or rubbed into their skin. 

Ben started to giggle as he rolled himself over to lay more directly on top of Mike. "Bloody hell, that was so fucking hot. Ugh," Ben said as he wrapped his arms around Mike's shoulders and leaned his head down to kiss his neck. Mike wrapped his arms all the way around Ben and held him closely as he kissed the top of his head. 

"I don't understand why you got so angry with me, love," Mike said, hoping it was obvious now how much he absolutely did not mean what he said. "I'm not lying to you, even if I don't tell Liv or anyone else the truth. You and I, we know the truth," he said, caressing Ben's back softly. 

"I know. It just..." Ben started to say as he ran his fingers through Mike's chest hair. "It doesn't feel good to hear that. Even if I know it's not the truth. You can take your time to come out to your mates, but you don't have to aggressively act like you're straight. Mike... What you said... It was borderline homophobic," Ben tried to make his feelings clear. 

"You're probably right... Even before we started seeing each other, I didn't act like that. I probably wouldn't have answered like that if someone had asked me before I met you. I just got scared... But I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Ebbers. I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?" he asked before kissing the top of his head again. 

Ben lifted his head to look Mike in the eyes, and he said, "Of course, I forgive you. I love you." As cheesy as that was, Mike smiled and told Ben that he loved him too, then kissed him softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of National Novel Writing Month, I'm making it a personal goal to have achieved 50k words on this fic by the last day of November. Cheers!


	10. the beautiful part (one)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I just want to help you through this," Ben said, using a finger on Mike's chin to gently coax his head into looking at him. "That's why you have me, Mike. Please let me in," Ben asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of felt like my tags were getting obnoxious and long. So, deleted most of them and only kept story related ones. If you've been keeping up with the story and are reading this chapter right after it's posted, then you can probably tell that certain kinks will be showing up in almost all NSFW chapters. I'll give a warning in the notes if a chapter will be sexually explicit and I'll highlight some of the more obscure, uncommon, or "kinkier" kinks. Obviously, I want everyone who reads to enjoy the story, so just let me know if you want me to tag something or highlight something in the notes. 
> 
> No sex in this chapter though. I hope that you enjoy the new chapter!

Ben lied awake next to his boyfriend for a few minutes before he gave into the urge to touch him. To run his fingertips across Mike's back and shoulder blades and arms. He looked just gorgeous. With his hair a mess from sex last night and his face at peace as he rested. Maybe it was selfish of Ben to want to wake him up instead of leaving him resting, but he wanted him so much. He wanted to hold him, to kiss him, to touch him, and none of that he could do while Mike was still asleep. He tried being gentle about it, softly rubbing his finger on Mike's earlobe and caressing his cheek with his thumb. Part of him thinks that Mike must be pretending because there is no way that he wouldnt have been woken up by now. Ben reached over with his mouth now to begin pressing soft kisses to Mike's shoulder. He could hear the gentle breaths now that he was closer. He heard another noise then, something like a closed-mouth moan, a happy noise. 

"You are awake," Ben stated after he caught Mike. Then he finally opened his eyes and smiled before closing them again and settling back into bed. 

"I knew if I woke up you'd stop kissing me. Please don't," Mike said, wiggling his shoulder to encourage more kissing. 

"Love, the beautiful part of you being awake is that you can kiss back," Ben answered, moving himself closer to Mike now and Mike lifted his head now to give him what he wanted. Their lips and mouths were dry from sleep, they became painfully aware this was not the best circumstance to be kissing in, but it was the thought that counted. 

Mike pulled back and asked, "how do you feel? Hungover?" Ben had drank quite a lot yesterday, probably because he spent most of the night being angry with him, and now was the time for Mike to learn if his boyfriend could handle his alcohol as well as him. Mike combed his fingers through Ben's hair and held him tightly to his chest. 

"Kind of... My head hurts. But I'm okay," Ben said. Mike's fingers massaging his scalp felt quite good. 

"Where do you keep your paracetamol, love?" Mike asked as he continued petting Ben's head and kissed his hair. 

"In the cupboard next to the fridge," Ben said, missing Mike's touch when his boyfriend started climbing out of bed. He didn't want Mike to leave, but some relief was a good tradeoff. The other good part was watching his naked boyfriend leave. He wanted to say something as a comment on Mike's bum, but knew that it might make Mike feel insecure if he wasn't in the mood so early in the morning. So he just appreciated the view in silence. Mike came back in no time with two capsules of paracetamol and a full glass of water, which Ben took and drank after sitting up straight in bed. "Thank you, love," Ben said after setting his glass down and laying down with Mike again. 

"So its our anniversary," Mike commented as he scooped Ben up in his arms again. "We had our first date a week ago," he smiled as he caressed Ben's back. Ben laid his head on Mike's chest, comforted by the gentle and steady rhythm of Mike's heartbeat. 

"Yeah, I think saturdays are my favorite days now. Can we lie in bed together for our whole anniversary?" Ben said as he let his eyes fall closed and snuggled into Mike. 

"I would love nothing more than that," Mike responded. Then he heard his phone buzz on the night stand over his shoulder. At first he ignored it, but then Ben told him that he should answer it. He picked it up and saw that he had a message. "It's Liv," he said. The message said that it was good to spend time with old mates while she was back in town and also to meet his new mate Ben. "She told me to apologise to you if questions about the ex made you uncomfortable. She thinks that after that happened, it seemed like you kept wanting her to leave," Mike explained the rest of the message. 

Ben raised his eyebrows. "Really? She wants to apologise?" He asked, starting to think that maybe he had been too harsh to her because he assumed that Liv was flirting with his boyfriend. "Did I... Did I seem like I wanted her to go?" He asked Mike. Mike took a second to think before giving him an answer. 

"Maybe? After I screwed up and made you angry, you were being curt and like not really interested, maybe, in what she had to say. But she didnt know that you were angry with me. She probably assumed that it had to do with her asking about your ex," he said. Ben thought back to last night and thought about how he acted. That definitely wasn't right. And after all, this was one of Mike's mates. It wasn't right for him to treat her rudely just because he thought she was flirting. 

"Oh God, I am very sorry. Can you tell her that I didn't mean to come across that way? I was just... Jealous," Ben said with a frown. 

"Yeah but I... If I tell her that, then... Then I'd have to explain why you would tell me that..." Mike tried explaining without upsetting Ben. If he told her that Ben acted that way because of jealousy, then that means that telling her why Ben had cause to be jealous, because him and Mike were dating. Or at least that Ben was interested in dating Mike. Maybe he could ask her how to respond to Ben showing interest him? No... At that point, why not just come out and say the truth?

Ben understood that Mike didnt want to come out yet. He tried the best that he could to be okay with it. "Okay well... Tell her I was tired? But I didn't want to be rude and leave for no apparent reason before she did," Ben tried coming up with a good enough lie. 

Mike nodded, deciding that was a good course of action. But he decided to just text her back that it was nice seeing her too. He couldnt tell her how Ben responded to her apology now. Then she would know that they were still together so early in the morning. And that could mean one thing. He texted her that he would let Ben know that she apologised the next time that he saw him. Then he put his phone down. 

"Mike, I'm sorry that I was rude to her... I, I want your mates to like me and I should have listened to you when you told me that she wasn't flirting," Ben said, holding tightly onto Mike. It became perfectly clear now that Mike wasn't the only one that made a mistake yesterday. Ben felt pretty horrible about it. What kind of boyfriend was he if he didnt befriend or at least respect Mike's mates just because of his own insecurities? Maybe he was jealous. That didn't give him a right to act that way, treat her poorly, and treat Mike poorly just for being mates with her. Especially since he was the new piece to Mike's life. "I'm really sorry. I didn't have a right to be angry at you because of my jealousy. I should have trusted you. Can you forgive me?" Ben asked softly, big brown eyes impleading Mike. Of course. 

"You should have trusted me. Ben... I am so obnoxiously in love with you. Even if Liv was flirting with me, I would never, ever act on it. Of course I forgive you, love. And we're okay, because you certainly had a right to be angry with me because of what I said about being disgusted by men. We both made mistakes," Mike said as he caressed Ben's shoulder. This greatly comforted Ben. That they could talk openly about these sorts of problems. 

"I'll try to work on the jealousy bit. Do you think that I can still make things right with Liv? For the next time that she comes back and we see her. What if you're out by then?" Ben asked. 

"Yeah, of course. I'm sure that she would understand. Its not the first time something like this has happened. Ive told you that is just how Liv is, she is very friendly and touchy and compliments people a lot. Hayley, Barry's girlfriend, didn't used to like how Liv acted towards Barry either, until she realized thats how Liv acted towards everyone," Mike explained. Ben nodded and snuggled Mike again, content with the resolution about this whole problem. 

As they laid together in silence again, Mike started to wonder... What if he just told Liv? She could keep a secret. And it would be a lot better for her and Ben's future communication if she knew the truth about what happened last night rather than some lie about Ben being tired. It would probably make him feel good too. 

"Should I... Should I tell Liv about us? It would be so much easier to just do it over text. I think that would be fine because I dont see her that often anymore. And she's fluid with her sexuality as well, so I know she would get it," Mike reasoned through it, unable to come up with any reason not to. 

"Do you think that she could keep it a secret from your straight mates?" Ben asked. 

"Yeah. I think so, if I asked.... Im- I'm just going to tell her the truth," he decided as he picked his phone back up. He texted her back _Ben says he is really sorry for seeming like he wanted you to leave. He was jealous because he thought you were flirting with me but I explained that it wasn't flirting. He feels bad about how he treated you and wants you to know that he still wants to be alright with you._

He got a text back in almost 10 seconds. _What??? Ben told you he was jealous of my flirting with you??? Does that mean he told you that he was interested in you???_

Mike smiled. _Yes._

_Well??? What did you say?_

_Well, I told him that i was very interested in him too... Because he is my boyfriend and we have been dating for the past week..._

_MIKEY!! YOUVE BEEN WHAT!!_

Then he got a phone call from her. Mike put it on speaker so Ben can hear. "Hello Liv!" Mike answered excitedly. 

"Hi Liv!" Ben said too. 

"Mike!? Was that who I think it is?" Liv asked after screaming when she heard the other voice. 

"It's Ben! Hey, Liv, I'm sorry if I treated you rudely last night. That wasn't right of me," he said. 

"Oh, Ben, thats fine. That's totally fine. This happened all the time in uni when one of the guys picked up a new girlfriend. But, Mike, I knew you were overcompensating last night when you said that you would never kiss a bloke!! Why didn't you tell me about you and Ben yesterday?" Liv asked, clearly very excited for them. 

"Well, because Barry doesnt know yet about the dating or about me," Mike explained. 

"Wait, so Mike, are you gay?!" She asked. 

"No. I think I'd call it bisexual?" Mike said, to which Liv squeed. 

"Mike, you are bisexual!! And you have a boyfriend!! Love, I am so happy for you! Are you and Ben happy?" She asked, to which she received a simultanous 'Very happy.' 

"Liv, but dont tell Barry yeah? Or anyone?" Mike asked. 

"Of course, Mike, yeah! So you haven't come out to them yet? Am I the first one youve told?!" She asked. 

"Yeah, yeah. You're the only one of my mates that knows now, and I need to tell my mum and dad as well," Mike said. 

"Oh! Okay! Well, good luck and take your time. Only tell them when you are ready. Mike, you just text me if you ever need me alright? I am so happy for you. And Ben, I am glad we met and I look forward to seeing you again when I come back to London, so we can start again on the right foot! I am happy for you both! Ive got to go now, my train just arrived. I'll see you again, hopefully sooner than the last time, Mikey! Bye bye," she said. 

"Bye, Liv! Cheers and have a safe ride, alright?" Mike replied before hanging up the phone. He was smiling so wide. He hugged Ben tightly and kissed his neck. "She knows! One of my mates knows that you're my boyfriend," Mike whispered in Ben's ear excitedly. 

Ben started giggling, adoring how happy Mike looked. "Yes, she does, love!" Ben replied through laughter. "How does it feel" Mike?" He asked with a loving smile and a warm hand on Mike's chest. 

"It feels so amazing. Ben. I want to go up to my roof and tell London how I feel about you," Mike beamed as he held Ben and gently rocked him in his arms. Ben smiled wide, from cheek to cheek, before kissing Mike with fervor, taking his lips in between his and licking into his mouth. Mike smiled right back into the kiss, stroking his hands up and down Ben's back. "Ben, you've just made my life so much happier since I met you. I really do, I want to tell everyone. I- I love you so much," Mike said softly as he tangled his fingers into Ben's short hair. His heart skipped a beat as he lovingly gazed in Ben's chocolate eyes. He loved the way that Ben looked at him like he knew all the answers to the universe. Mike felt so special being looked at like that. 

"I love you too. Mike... Can you tell me what... So, Liv was talking yesterday about a woman that she was seeing. How long did you, Barry, and Hayley know that she's queer? And how did you react when you found out?" Ben asked, hoping to get Mike to talk through why he wouldnt come out, even though he wants to. 

"We knew it when we met her. At a party in our first year in uni, a group of us, myself, Barry, and Jamie included, met her and she seemed to like us and want to hang out with us. One of my other mates, George, he was hitting on her and we were all egging him on, she was responding to him as well. Then, she introduced us to her girlfriend who showed up to the party late. We were all confused because she had been flirting with George. So George started backing off, but she didn't and then her girlfriend also started flirting with George... And then we kind of understood. George spent the night with them both. A few days later, he told us all about it. After the party, Barry and I and couple of my other mates started hanging out with her more because she was in a lot of the same classes as us. I guess... I guess, you know, we were interested that she took our mate George home with her and her girlfriend after the first time meeting each other. She was an interesting girl, and we got to know her more, she was fun too and really nice. I dont think that any of us ever treated her badly because of her sexuality. I think she would tell us if that is how she felt," Mike explained. 

"Okay... S-so if none of your mates treated her poorly even though you knew from the first night you met her that she was interested in men and women, then why do you think that your mates would treat you poorly?" Ben asked softly, hand on Mike's chest feeling his steady heart beat. 

"Its just different, Ben..." Mike said turning his head and stuffing it inside of his pillow so he wouldn't have to look at Ben. "You said that I could wait..." Mike mumbled. 

"And you can. And I love you no matter how long it takes, Michael. But this isn't about me. You are not disappointing me, if that's what you think. I... I just want to help you through this," Ben said, using a finger on Mike's chin to gently coax his head into looking at him. "That's why you have me, Mike. Please let me in," Ben asked. Mike didn't speak for a long minute. Ben almost thought the conversation just would not go anywhere. But then, Mike spoke. 

"She's a woman, who had a threesome, with one of my mates the first night we met her. We all fantasized about it. And I dont fantasize about it anymore, I definitely don't. But we all did at the beginning. It was hot. If I tell my mates now about me and about us, they wont fantasize about us. And I'm scared that they'd think it's weird or disgusting," Mike explained, chewing his lip. 

"Mike, it's not weird or disgusting," Ben said, to which Mike immediately tried to interrupt to say he knew that but Ben put a finger up to his mouth to silence him. "It's normal. And it's beautiful. Just because they aren't going to fantasize about it, it doesnt mean that they will think bad things about it. Your mates love you. They choose to love you. And if they stop choosing that when you tell them, then it's their problem. That's not your problem, Mike, okay? It's something wrong with them, but it's nothing wrong with you," Ben said quietly, moving his hand to caress Mike's cheek as some tears began to fall. Mike turned his head to press his lips against Ben's hand. "Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?" Ben asked, rubbing away Mike's tears with his thumb as Mike nodded. They shared another soft and sweet kiss before Ben climbed out of bed to make them breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading!


	11. the ugly part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think I want some donuts, should we get them, love?" Mike asked, eyeing the different kinds of donuts on the shelf. 
> 
> Ben was about to say sure, but he was cut off by the teenager, who said, without having anything else to say...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of don't like myself for making this chapter go the way it does because it ends up being very sad and I hate sad things. But it also felt very cathartic to write this. I hope that you enjoy it or at least appreciate it for what it says. 
> 
> Trigger warning for homophobia and homophobic language at the end as our couple goes into a store and the whole conversation that follows.

Mike has never been one to celebrate anniversaries after one week, but Ben is unlike any partner he has had before for more than just the obvious reasons. Things didnt get serious with Camila until a couple months of dating, and dates would only happen once or twice a week. She was more of an annual anniversary type of girl. There were other girls too, but none of them even made it past a year and none of them were weekly or monthly anniversary type of girls either. With Ben, Mike kind of wanted to celebrate each day he woke up and knew that Ben still wanted to be with him. Mike and Ben progressed from "seeing each other" to "serious relationship" after perhaps one date. When you know, you know, right?

Unfortunately, this means that they skipped the whole courting portion of dating. The whole taking the other person out to do something they liked, like going to see a film or going to the zoo, and then having a dinner at a fancy restaurant after. "Lets go on a romantic date to celebrate our first week," Mike said as he's finished chewing on some toast. Ben was the master of romance, always making Mike these incredible dinners and amazing breakfasts. So, Mike thought it was time that he really treat his boyfriend. 

"What did you have in mind?" Ben asked, and maybe Mike was just really infatuated but he thought the way Ben said that was really cute. He already seemed excited to spend more time with Mike as they were already spending time together right now. 

"Well, you really like the theatre, so I wanna take you to see a show, whatever show you like. Then afterwards or before or both we can go to an exotic foreign restaurant for dinner. And we can come back to yours, or mine," Mike explained, hoping that Ben thought the idea was as romantic as it seemed in Mike's head. Ben was thrilled. 

"I would really, really love that," Ben said with a big smile. He thought it sweet how well Mike knew him already because that date just sounded absolutely perfect. "I pick the show and you pick the restaurant," he said, and Mike was just about to say that he doesn't know any good foreign restaurants. Before Mike met Ben, whenever Mike didnt cook himself (woefully subpar to Ben's) meals at home, he would just eat the same Chinese takeaway or chicken from Nandos or whatever the hell. Mike wasn't usually adventurous when it came to food. "Google it. Look up reviews or something for a restaurant nearby Piccadilly Circus or Leicester Square. Something that you think you'd like. I promise you that I would like anything and everything," Ben swears and Mike nods. He supposed it wasnt so romantic to come up with an idea and expect Ben to fill out all the details. Besides, he could definitely look up restaurants in Google.

They spent the morning and a better part of the afternoon together. Doing nothing at all. Mike sat on the couch watching Netflix music documentaries with his fingers entwined in Ben's hair. Ben sat with his head in Mike's lap and marked his students' quizzes. Later on in the day, Mike had to excuse himself so that he could go back home, have a shower, change. Ben said, again in a voice that Mike thought was incredibly cute, "Do you have to go? I have a shower here. We can shower together."

And as temping as the offer was, "But I don't have a change of clothes here," Mike said. Maybe Mike had made it to the extra toothbrush at Ben's flat stage of the relationship, but he wasn't quite at the his own drawer in Ben's wardrobe stage. 

"Well, let's cancel the date, we go take a shower, and you spend the rest of the night in your birthday suit," Ben said with his big chocolate eyes that Mike always found difficult to resist. 

Mike laughed, pressed his lips to Ben's, and gently caressed his arm. "I'll text you when I'm nearly ready and you can come to mine, we'll leave together, yeah?" Mike suggested. 

"Okay," Ben replied, looking at him with a soft gaze. So, Mike went off back home to get ready for the date. 

Ben had picked a musical for them to watch, which he told Mike was meant to be a surprise when he asked what they were going to see when Ben met him at his flat. They held hands as they stood in line for tickets and huddled together, with Ben's face shoved in the crook of Mike's neck where it was warm. Yeah, Mike felt plenty warm both from Ben's hot breath soaking into him and from holding Ben like this out on the sidewalk of the theatre, surrounded by many other theatre goers waiting to get their tickets and get inside. He looked around at the crowd and his anxieties slowly started dissipating. He saw other guys there cuddled up to each other, saw two guys just a couple spots down the line with their hands underneath each other's coats and resting on each other's hips, and when he looked forward, he saw two women holding each other, rocking back and forth. He asked Ben what kind of show this was. Ben nuzzled his nose against Mike's neck and said, "it's a musical about a boy named Jamie who wants to be a drag queen." 

"A drag queen? Like he wants to dress up as a woman for show?" Mike whispered back as they shuffled up the sidewalk as the line started moving. 

"Yeah," Ben whispered, gently kissing Mike's neck as he finally felt his boyfriend release his tension. "You don't need to worry about holding me like this here. It's okay," Ben said as he lifted his head, stood on his toes, stretched, and gave Mike a soft kiss on the lips. Mike smiled, feeling such a warm sense of comfort from all of the other gay couples around them who weren't nervous about showing each other affection like this. After several minutes passed, they were finally making it to the front of the line where Mike could see the signs and the posters for the show. 'Everybody's Talking About Jamie' had a picture of a teenage boy wearing red lipstick and heavy eye makeup with his head thrown back in laughter. 

"Why are there so many boys named Jamie in England?" Mike asked, to which Ben laughed and kissed his neck again, and Mike held him tighter, craving his warmth. Even though the heating was on in the theatre, the couple still wanted to get cozy together in their seats. Ben watched the show from a bit of a sideways angle with his head leaned up against Mike's shoulder. They laughed together when Jamie teased his bullies at school, fought back tears when Jamie's dad said he wanted nothing to do with him, and smiled when Jamie got all dressed up and sang in front of the whole class. Mike loved it. He loved that Ben picked this for him because he knew that he did after the conversation in the morning. He loved that Ben cared, really cared. 

They talked all about the show and the musical numbers in the corner of this little Korean restaurant. They ordered a selection of appetizers, new things that neither of them ate before, but really enjoyed. Ben ordered soup as a defense against the cold and Mike ordered something spicy. They talked about what to do for their next date and agreed that they would have to do something that Mike enjoyed, like an open mic night at a pub. They laughed at each other's jokes and held each other's hands in their laps and snuck kisses from each other and drank cocktails. As the couple was on the way back to Ben's flat, they agreed to stop by a Tesco Express to get some more drinks and maybe snacks. Ben had begun telling his boyfriend stories on the bus about his summer in Ireland living with 5 of his mates from culinary school, plus Alex. They all worked for a company that made meal-ready frozen foods by order. Their supervisor had such BO and seemed to know hardly anything about how to actually cook food besides what he needed to know to boss them around. The group schemed to get the supervisor locked in a freezer for 10 minutes. After they let him out and apologised, said it was a complete accident, that they had 'no idea' he was there, he was dumb enough to actually believe them and just told them to carry on working. 

Mike held Ben's hand and laughed at his story while they strolled through the aisles of the grocery store. The couple ended up in an aisle where an employee was stood stocking up the shelves. Because Mike had all his attention focused on Ben, he didn't notice the way that the young teenage boy stocking the shelves looked at them when they walked in the aisle with their hands clasped, smiling and laughing together. Ben did though, so he tried to steer Mike away, but then Mike noticed that they were in the sweets aisle and pulled back when Ben tugged on his hand. "I think I want some donuts, should we get them, love?" Mike asked, eyeing the different kinds of donuts on the shelf. 

Ben was about to say sure, but he was cut off by the teenager, who said, without having anything else to say, "Fags." Ben just immediately wanted to leave and picked up the first box of donuts he saw. 

"What?" Mike asked first, wanting to know that he just heard something wrong, and then the teen just rolled his eyes and kept on stocking the shelf. "Did you-" Mike was saying before he was being firmly pulled away by Ben who flew them to the self checkout line, scanned the 4 pack of beer and the donuts and dropped a tenner in the machine. "Ben, that twat just-" Mike was saying before Ben shushed him and pulled him again to leave the store. "Why didn't you let me say something to him?" Mike asked angrily as he followed Ben in the direction of his flat. 

"Because it's not worth it, Mike," Ben said quietly with tight lips, looking down as he walked with his hands in his pockets. 

"So you just let people speak to you that way?" Mike asked incredulously. 

"Oh what were you gonna do, Mike? Call him a twat and hope that changes his mind about gays? Call him a twat and hope that he tells you, oh I was wrong and gay people do deserve to hold their partners' hands in public without getting weird looks or getting insulted, I'm so sorry? Come on, Mike," Ben said, raising his voice back. 

"Well, it's true! I don't want to be called a fag by some punk kid in a Tesco in the middle of the night when I'm getting beer with my boyfriend!" Mike shouted exasperated. 

"Well, you're gonna have to live with that, Mike, if this is what you want!" Ben yelled then cleared his throat. "People are probably trying to sleep here, Mike," Ben replied, now quieter as they passed some flats. 

"You just live with it? With people saying those things about you?" Mike asked again, more quietly. 

"You can't get into shouting matches or fist fights with every homophobe in the world. Their opinions are not your problem, Mike," Ben said as they rounded the final corner before getting to his building. 

"It's... It's not fair, it's not right. We were having a great date and then some idiot kid ruins it for us... and you didn't even let me say anything to him. I can stand up for myself, you know, and I want to stand up for you too," Mike fought back, stubborn to be proved right on this. 

"Life is that way, Mike, it's not fair," Ben said.

"I'm not taking that as an answer, Ben," Mike said. 

"Fine, fine, say something to the kid next time, Mike. But you... you have to pick your battles. I wanted to take you to see that musical today because I knew that it would be a safe space for us to be who we are. The world just isn't like that and you don't have to be okay with it, but you have to understand how things will be for you. I've dealt with people calling me names and assuming a whole manner of things about me since I was 13 years old, Mike. You've only just learned that this is what it's like. No matter how angry it makes you and no matter what you say to that kid, you're not gonna change what he thinks and you're not gonna stop him from saying the same bigoted thing to the next gay couple he sees holding hands on the street. And it's not your job to do that," Ben explained, finally making it inside his flat by the end of his talk. 

"Then why did you hold my hand?" Mike asked. At first, Ben didnt understand the question. "If you know that people are going to shame us for holding hands, then why? Why did you hold my hand? Let me call you 'love' where other people could hear us. Kissed me in a restaurant packed with other people. Should I be surprised that no one said anything to us earlier?" Mike asked as he shucked off his coat, sweater, and hat. 

"Because I dont care, Mike. That kid could have knocked me in the face and I'd still go back to that store tomorrow holding your hand because I love you and nothing short of killing me will stop me from showing you that," Ben explained, taking Mike's hand now again as they took a seat on the couch together. 

Mike squeezed his hand tightly. "Has anyone ever done that? Hurt you because of..." Mike trailed off, unable to think of how to phrase the question. 

"Because I am gay? Yes. My first boyfriend, before we got together, he shoved me in the school yard because he said that I was looking at him weird and he told me that he wasn't fucking gay like me," Ben said, leaning back on the couch. 

"Once I was out with a boy watching a film when I was 17 and a woman behind us poured half a cup of soda with ice on our heads and told us how inappropriate it was to be kissing in public where little kids could watch. And when I was 16, I went to a party and this boy was flirting with me and then he dragged me away to the backyard where I thought nobody was watching us. He said that he wondered what it was like to kiss a boy and asked if I could kiss him. I said yes and when I closed my eyes, he started laughing. Then I heard two other people laughing, who showed up from behind the bushes in the backyard holding up flip phones as they were recording me. The boy was laughing at how he really had me fooled. When he saw tears start to form in my eyes, he laughed even more and called me a fag and a fairy and stupid for even thinking that would kiss me. After that, I never went back to a party alone," Ben said in a surprisingly detached way that showed Mike he really had dealt with almost 10 years of what had happened to them tonight. 

"It was awful. And I wish I had the strength and the courage to fight every single person who's ever harassed me because of my sexuality but even if I did, I know that it wouldn't change anything because that woman that poured soda over my head is probably still giving looks and snickering whenever she sees another gay couple kissing at the cinema. That boy who tricked me into almost kissing him probably did that same trick or worse on a bunch of innocent guys in uni. I wish that some homophobe's stupid comment hadn't ruined our date tonight. I wish the world weren't like this for us. But it is and you just have to learn to live with it," Ben said, tears stinging at his eyes before rolling down his hot cheeks. It wasn't until he finished talking that Mike fully leaned forward to take him into his arms and hug him comfortingly. Ben just cried, relieving years of terrible memories of things he always hoped that he could forget but never did, and Mike squeezed him tightly as his body shook with the strength of his sobs. They both expected an entirely different sequence of actions once they arrived back at Ben's flat at the end of the date. And Mike felt deep pangs of regret as he thought that maybe this whole conversation wouldn't have occurred if he had just kept his mouth shut and not tried to say anything to the kid in Tesco, or if he wouldn't have kept goading Ben that he should've let him say something, or if he just wouldn't have asked Ben about how people have verbally abused him because of his sexuality. All those mistakes culminated in his boyfriend now sobbing in his arms and Mike hated that anyone had ever treated his man like they did. He felt like he had to do something about it, but like Ben said, there was nothing that he could do, except sit on Ben's couch and offer him a small sense of comfort that could never heal all his wounds, but at least it made the hurt not hurt so much. 

"I'm sorry that you've had to suffer through all of that," Mike whispered gently as Ben slowly started regaining his composure. Not only did Mike feel horrible for all that his boyfriend has been through, but he felt physically ill at the fact that this was going to be part of his life now too that he has a boyfriend who he absolutely loves enough to suffer throught it. Still, he just wished it wasn't so. 

"You don't have to be sorry, you did nothing to cause it," Ben replied, lifting his head off of Mike's chest where he left a big wet spot. 

"No, but I did, because I said to you and Barry and Liv and Hayley that kissing men is disgusting and that I would never do it," Mike said, feeling an entirely new sense of guilt over what he said yesterday. 

"You didn't mean it," Ben shook his head. 

"I still feel awful for saying it to you. You don't deserve to hear such rude things from anyone and least of all your boyfriend. I am very sorry, Ben," Mike said, squeezing Ben's hand in his grasp. "I love you, Ben. And I'll try to be better," he whispered as he got closer to kiss him softly and passionately, still feeling wetness on his cheeks. They kissed for a few minutes longer, so comforted by each other's presence and love. After a while, Mike suggested that they go to bed and sleep the drama of the kid from Tesco off, and try to restart the end of their date tomorrow. Ben nodded his head tiredly and let his boyfriend lead him off to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the beautiful part (two) and I'm just gonna write a whole bunch of fluff and sex with my favorite kink: love. Because writing this chapter has made me sad and I wanna write something happy. Stick around for the next one!!


	12. the beautiful part (two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben didn't answer, just opened the plastic packaging to get at the donuts. He ripped off a bite-sized piece of one powdered sugar donut. Mike didnt even wait to finish his ham. He opened his mouth and stared at Ben's fingers as they came closer to him. Ben extended the piece of donut out and placed it on Mike's tongue, his fingertips brushing Mike's lips as he pulled his hand back to rip off another piece. Mike mmm'd happily as he chewed and swallowed the sugary donut, then opened his mouth to receive another piece. He finished one in four bites, and after he swallowed the final piece, Ben raised his index finger to Mike's mouth. The blond leaned forward to lick the powdered sugar off of Ben's finger, took the tip into his mouth and sucked it clean. After that, Ben picked his fork back up to finish his own food and giggled slightly from seeing Mike with his lips covered in the white powdered sugar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for sexual content! Kinky stuff: Dom/sub undertones, choking, bareback, cumplay, the works! Enjoy!

When Mike woke up the next morning, he first smelled the scents of coffee and ham wafting in through Ben's open door. He could not stop himself from smiling when he focused his ears to listen to the noise. Ben was quietly singing numbers from the musical yesterday to himself as he fried up their breakfast. Ben heard the blond as he walked over to the bathroom and shouted a good morning, excited to see his boyfriend again. Mike of course returned the greeting before relieving himself and washing up so he could join his boyfriend in the kitchen. The plates were nearly ready as he arrived. He stopped Ben from placing the final slice of ham on a plate by moving him with his hands on his hips so that he could lean down and kiss him gently. Mike took his boyfriend's lips over and over again like he was starved for his kiss, softly licking into his mouth with his tongue, longing for his taste. "Thank you for making breakfast," Mike said in a quiet and deep voice, only pulling an inch away from Ben's face. 

"Thank you for kissing me," Ben responded, feeling flustered by the passion of the kiss, slightly foggy headed, already feeling his blood rush down to his crotch. 

"My, you are easily pleased," Mike replied, maintaining very intimate and close eye contact with Ben as the corners of his lips raised in a smile and he rubbed his thumbs in circles on Ben's hips. 

"Only by you am I easily pleased," Ben whispered suggestively, starting to find himself lost in Mike's eyes and smiling back at him. Mike bit his lip, causing Ben's eyes to drift downwards to look at his mouth, look at his blushing lips. Again, Mike leaned down for more kisses like he was wanting to get to know Ben's lips more intimately than he already did, licking into Ben's mouth like there were new spots to explore still. Ben couldnt help but moan into the kiss, encouraging Mike to lean himself closer against Ben's body. Mike wished he could pick Ben up and put him on the counter so they were the same height, so Mike could be chest to chest with him, groin to groin. He couldn't because he was strong enough, but he rubbed Ben's bum through his soft pajama pants and pressed him against the counter to influence him to jump up on his own. 

Ben pulled back finally, heaving big sighs as he detached himself, chest moving up and down. "We don't eat our breakfast now. It'll get cold," Ben said, gently pushing Mike back with a hand on his bicep. He was only half aware of how atrocious his grammar was just then, because he was mainly aware of how his heart skipped a beat and his face warmed up when Mike started fondling him. He didn't want to stop. 

"We better eat. Need to build up our energy," Mike whispered back, leaning down for one last kiss before stepping away and grabbing his plate. As he sat down at the kitchen table, he saw that Ben had left the donuts they bought last night there. "Coffee. Ham. Donuts. So good to me," Mike said as he filled up his fork with a slice of ham and scrambled eggs. 

"You are lovely to me. I only do it so that you'll kiss me," Ben smiled, taking a second to admire Mike as he ate his food. "Is it good?" He asked softly before taking his own bite. 

"Delicious," Mike said, moaning slightly as his cold hand wrapped around the warm mug of coffee. He took a small, careful sip to test the temperature before taking a larger gulp. "Is that all you want? For me to kiss you?" Mike questioned, sticking his leg further out to graze Ben's calf with his leg. 

"May I ask for more than that?" Ben wondered as he affirmatively pressed his leg up against Mike's leg. They tried to focus at least somewhat on eating, but it was hard with how aroused they both were. The passionate make out session earlier did nothing to quell the fire.

"You may," Mike answered, swallowing down his eggs perhaps a little too fast in anticipation of getting through this part and moving to the next. Using that energy for something. 

"May I feed you?" Ben asked quietly after several silent seconds. He had wanted to feed Mike several times now. He did not know how to bring it up, but now seemed like a more appropriate time to ask than in the middle of a busy restaurant like last night. 

"You would like to _feed_ me?" Mike asked for a sort-of clarification. 

Ben didn't answer, just opened the plastic packaging to get at the donuts. He ripped off a bite-sized piece of one powdered sugar donut. Mike didnt even wait to finish his ham. He opened his mouth and stared at Ben's fingers as they came closer to him. Ben extended the piece of donut out and placed it on Mike's tongue, his fingertips brushing Mike's lips as he pulled his hand back to rip off another piece. Mike mmm'd happily as he chewed and swallowed the sugary donut, then opened his mouth to receive another piece. He finished one in four bites, and after he swallowed the final piece, Ben raised his index finger to Mike's mouth. The blond leaned forward to lick the powdered sugar off of Ben's finger, took the tip into his mouth and sucked it clean. After that, Ben picked his fork back up to finish his own food and giggled slightly from seeing Mike with his lips covered in the white powdered sugar. 

"I'd love to feed you too," Mike commented before cutting off a piece of ham and eating it. 

"There are plenty of donuts left..." Ben said, alternating his gaze between Mike's eyes and the package of donuts between them. Mike didn't reach for the donuts though, and they finished their breakfast and coffee in near silence, communicating strictly through glances and movement of their legs under the table. Ben stacked up the plates and mugs and brought them to the kitchen. His boyfriend followed and pressed his body up against Ben's backside as he placed the diningware in the sink. He felt Mike's erection pressing into his back as Mike wrapped arms around his midsection and kissed his ear before whispering that he had had a dream about him last night. The shorter man caressed his hands over Mike's arms, leaned his head back into the touch, and gently rubbed his arse against Mike's legs. "What did you dream of, love?" Ben asked in a gravelly voice, feeling his cock stir in his pajama bottoms. 

"Your skin," Mike answered simply. "Your arms around me, and your chest underneath me. You quietly begging. Sighing. And shaking," he said, hugging Ben closely as he pressed more kisses now to his neck below his ears. 

"Tell me more," Ben whined softly, taking in shallow breaths as Mike rubbed his erection against his back. 

"That's funny, you were begging for more in the dream. You were beautiful. Your mouth was open and you didn't hold back any noise. You moaned my name and it was that easy to make me come. I'm surprised I didn't come in my pants. Then I smelled you making breakfast and singing. Like all my dreams came true," Mike whispered hotly into Ben's ear, moving one hand from around Ben's stomach down to his crotch. He felt his hard cock under his pants and wrapped his hand around the bulge. Ben whimpered at the touch. He lifted Mike's hand away though, tempted as he was, and turned himself around so that he was facing Mike. 

"Mike," Ben whispered into his ear, his hands warm on the back of Mike's neck, his lips soft on his ear lobe. "I need you to fuck me, please. I need your big cock inside me. Please, Mike, I want to feel it," he begged openly, grinding his cock against Mike's body. He had no qualms for begging. He had put Mike's cock in his mouth or in his hand enough times now that he was starving for it in his arse. He was desperate. He had had too many dreams of Mike holding him down and fucking him relentlessly that just the thought of it made him hard. 

And Mike felt the same, he felt ready. But that whimper in Ben's voice as he begged was too much of a turn on that he wanted to hear more of it before giving in. "Bet you've been dreaming of me fucking you," Mike replied in a low growl, moving his hands down to Ben's arse and squeezing him tightly. Mike grasped the waistband of his pajama bottoms and pulled them down, pleased to find out that Ben wasn't wearing any underwear. At any other time, Ben would be horrified at the thought of anyone getting naked in his kitchen, but that they were leaned up against a counter that he used for cooking didn't even cross his mind. More important things occupied his thoughts. 

"Yes, I never stop dreaming about you," Ben said, heart skipping a beat when he felt Mike's hands on him. 

"Yes, sir," Mike said, to get them into their little role play again. 

"Yes, sir," Ben repeated, shaking his bum a bit in Mike's grasp.

"Tell me what you want," Mike said, moving his hands and spreading Ben's arse cheeks so he could tease a finger around his hole. 

"You, sir. I want your cock. I want you to fill me up, sir. I want you to hold me down and use me. I need it, sir," Ben whimpered, now laying his head down on Mike's shoulder and shivering at how good his boyfriend's fingers felt around his hole and perinium. 

"You only get what you want if you're a good boy. Have you been a good boy, Ben?" He asked as he gently rubbed his finger back and forth between Ben's bollocks and his hole. 

"I can be a good boy, sir. I want to be good boy for you. What do you need, sir? Please, I just want to serve you," Ben said, bending his knees to stick his arse out further, and crying out every time he felt Mike press his finger behind his balls. 

"Ben, you've been a very good boy," Mike started to say. "You've been so patient. You've been so attentive. I think a good boy like you should get a reward," he said, pressing his finger harder. 

"Yes, sir. Please, sir. I've been so good," Ben moaned loudly into Mike's ear. 

"Touch me, Ben," Mike demanded, stopping his finger now and waiting for Ben to wrap his hand around his cock. "Feel how hard I am for you?" He asked when Ben was stroking him through his pants. Mike kissed him deeply, taking all his focus away, until it was just their lips, their tongues, and their sighs melting together. Then Ben's mind was brought back to the hard cock in his hand. 

"Please, sir," he whispered again. "I've been good, please make love to me," he begged, heart beat racing when he felt Mike's hands around his arms. Ben was pushed to jump up onto the counter, and he instantly spread his legs inviting Mike to nestle himself between them. The countertop felt cold underneath his arse. Mike warmed him up by pressing kisses into his throat, gripping his hips tightly. "I want to feel you pushing into me, holding me down, and kissing me. It makes me so hard. Sir, I want you. I want you, I can hardly... Hardly breathe..." Ben cried, ripped apart by the feeling of Mike's lips and teeth. 

"I want to make this really good for you," Mike preceeded, speaking into Ben's skin as he found that he could not pull himself away. "Tell me how. Tell me, love. Each detail," Mike requested before taking Ben's skin between his teeth and leaving his neck red. Mike pulled the front side of Ben's pants down and licked his hand before stroking his cock, swiping his thumb over the wet tip. 

"You- you have to get me ready. Put your fingers in me and stretch me until I'm begging you stop because I want to cum on your cock. And we can lay down in our bed, like you're spooning me, and I'll open my legs for you, and you'll fuck me hard. Hold my arms behind my back or shove my face into the bed or wrap your fingers around my neck," Ben said quickly, trying to keep himself composed although he was threatening to unravel from Mike's touch. 

"I love your cock," Mike whispered, pressing kisses into Ben's chest through his shirt. At that, Ben looked down at Mike's hand as he jerked him off. Thoughts started creeping in that his dick was too small and unattractive when he saw how Mike's hand wrapped around him almost covered the whole thing. Seemed like Mike was just trying to be kind. 

Ben whined, moving his head back and staring at the ceiling instead, trying to think less about what his cock looked liked and more about how it felt. 

"I do... I love seeing you turned on just thinking about me fucking you. I love holding your hard cock in my hand knowing that I made you this way. Ben, it's so fucking sexy," Mike growled as he got down to his knees. 

"Sir, please," Ben whined, feeling so keyed up but nervous. 

"Can I suck you off?" Mike asked, pressing his mouth to the exposed parts of Ben's hips. Ben just whined and failed to answer. "Please, Ben. I want to feel your hard cock in my mouth... Want to fuck my mouth with your cock. Please..." Mike begged, mouth starting to water with Ben's cock so close. Finally, Ben nodded without saying anything, his cheeks turning bright red as he tried controlling his breathing. When Mike gently licked the tip as he fondled his balls, Ben started letting out frustrated tears. Mike watched him as he reacted to the blowjob, watched his blushing cheeks and wet tears as he wrapped his lips around that cock and swallowed it down, at least as much as he could without gagging. When he did start gagging, he pulled back and asked, "why do you think it's small?" before moving his tongue purposefully on the skin just below the tip. 

"Because it is," Ben answered in a shaky voice. Mike's tongue felt like a thinly veiled threat, pressing against him and then pulling away, like Mike was fully ready to get up and leave him panting, half naked on his counter. He needed more but almost felt like he didn't deserve it. Mike gave him more, wrapped his lips around the tip again and leaned his head down until he was gagging again, spitting up on Ben's cock and covering it with saliva. Ben whimpered whenever he heard Mike start to choke on him. He leaned his head back and shut eyes, concentrating on his pleasure. 

"Why do you think that's so bad?" Mike asked after he let him go again, moving to kiss Ben's pelvis and hips. Ben didn't answer and Mike started gently biting his skin. "Tell. Me," he punctuated, waiting to hear Ben speak. 

"It's not enough..." Ben whispered back, wishing Mike would just start again or do something different. He didn't want to talk about it. "It's too small. It's a turn-off. What's the point of sucking my cock if you feel nothing?" Ben asked quietly, finally lifting his head and opening his eyes to look at Mike. His eyes were dark and he could hardly see any of the blue becaue his pupils were blown wide. He saw Mike put his mouth on him again, jaw unhinged, only able to get maybe two inches in before gagging and pulling back to lick him in broad stripes. Then Mike stood up and leaned in to kiss him passionately. He pushed him down until Ben was almost laying parallel to the counter and took his cock out of his pants so he could jerk himself off next to Ben's cock. 

"You have no idea, how much you turn me on," Mike whispered against Ben's mouth, sliding his cock against Ben's so he could feel it. "I love making you feel good," he said as he started kissing down Ben's jaw and neck, sucking his skin again again in the same spot, pulling moan after moan out of the brunet. 

"Then fuck me, you dick," Ben whined, leaning his head back to get Mike more access to neck, but as soon as he did that, Mike pulled his pajama bottoms back over his waist and pulled him off the counter. They rushed to their bedroom together. Ben kicked off his bottoms and climbed onto the bed face down, bringing his knees in so his arse would stick out, and spreading his legs to entice Mike. 

Mike crawled to the edge of the bed and crouched over Ben's legs, then he spread his arse cheeks apart again and leaned his head down to lick Ben's hole. He moaned aloud as he felt Mike's warm and wet tongue on him. Mike again started stroking Ben's perinium as he licked him, feeling the hole twitch under his tongue. He pushed his tongue firmly against his boyfriend's hole and then felt the tightness around the tip of his tongue, that he couldn't really move around at that point. So he just moved back and forth, pushing into and out of Ben's hole with his tongue before replacing it with his fingers. He put one finger in his mouth and coated it with spit before sliding it inside of Ben, crooking it downwards and gently pushing against Ben's prostate. 

"Fuck, Mike. More, more," Ben cried, taking the bed sheets and twisting them in his fists. 

Mike raised his free hand and firmly spanked Ben's bum, which came as a surprise and elicited a yelp. It was punishment for breaking character. "Sir," Ben said, silently apologizing for disrespecting him. "Sir, please. I want more," he cried, pushing his arse back. 

"What do you want?" Mike asked, using his free hand now to grab Ben's bum and jiggle it in his hands. 

"I want three fingers, sir. With lube, please, sir," Ben begged, craving a greater feeling for fullness. 

"You will take four," Mike said, pulling his finger out so he could squirt lube onto his palms and rub it into each finger.

"Yes, sir," Ben replied, waiting anxiously for Mike's return. He started with two fingers first, that quickly turned to three, and he spread them out in Ben's arsehole in an effort to stretch him open for his cock. Then, Mike extended out his pinky and pushed against Ben's arse. Ben had never tried fucking himself with four fingers, which he could not believe because he definitely could stretch enough for a little extra pinky, and the mix of pain and pleasure just became more intense the more he was stretched. "Fuck," Ben moaned, biting his lip hard as he tried to get accustomed to the feeling. Mike wiggled his fingers around slowly, applying some pressure to Ben's prostate with two of his fingers, before slowy pulling back and then forward again. While he fingered him, he used his other hand to rub more lube onto his cock. 

"You take it so well, love," Mike said, blood rushing to his cock as he heard Ben's steady stream of whimpers and curses as he pushed his arse against Mike's hand, trying to get his fingers deeper inside him. 

"Thank you, sir," Ben uttered, trying his best to hold off on cumming so soon. "Please, sir, I'm ready," he said. Mike slowly pulled his fingers out and told Ben to turn around onto his back. "Ive thought about this every night since we went on our first date," he said, stroking the back of Mike's neck. 

"And what if I dont live up to the expectation?" Mike asked, looking deeply into Ben's eyes. 

"You already have, love," Ben said quietly. He turned without a struggle or complaint when Mike pushed him to lay on his left side. Mike laid down beside him, his chest flush with Ben's back, and he started kissing Ben's neck as he slid his hand down his body and lifted his right leg for him. He used his hand to guide his cock inside Ben's hole and, when he felt the tip inside, wrapped his arm around Ben's side to lay his hand on his chest. He kissed him more until Ben resolved to begging again, "please, sir." 

Mike moved his hips forward slowly, sinking deeper into Ben's body. He felt Ben's heart beating in his chest underneath his fingertips. He saw Ben's face go slack with pleasure. He heard him start to moan and grunt. Only half his cock was in before Mike stopped, feeling overwhelmed. "You're so tight around me," Mike groaned. Ben felt amazing on his dick and in his arms, and he never felt like this before. Like this was where he was supposed to be. The universe led him to being in bed with Ben Ebbrell, holding him in his arms. 

"Sir," Ben said, snapping Mike out of his reverie. "Fuck me, please. I want you," he whined. Mike was helpless to push for more begging or to edge Ben even closer. With those words, he couldn't hold back any longer. He moved his hips forward until Ben was wrapped tightly around his entire cock. His boyfriend was tighter than anybody Mike had ever felt before. It made his blood rush and his head feel dizzy. Mike pulled back and started thrusting, slow, moving the angle of his hips differently each forward thrust to feel for Ben's spot. He also took one of Ben's arms and twisted it behind his back, holding it in place with one of his arms, forcing Ben into a position where his back was fully arched and his arse was pressing back against him. Ben loved the feeling of Mike's strong arms holding him down, pressing his arm back. Loved the feeling of Mike's cock deep inside him, thrusting in and out. Loved the feeling of Mike's hot breath on his neck. 

Mike pressed Ben's arm harder into his back as he started moving faster. After a few tries, Mike finally felt the tip of his cock push against Ben's prostate, making Ben moan out loud. He moved the same way again, touching his prostate again and he knew that was it. He finally started fucking him in earnest, thrusting in and out of Ben fast, going in deep as he could each time. "Fuck," Ben cried out after he felt the pleasure from the stimulation a second time. "Sir, harder, come on, fuck me, fuck me hard," Ben whined, moving his arse back against Mike. Mike let Ben's arm go and moved his own arm back around Ben's side and onto his chest. He kept up the pace, thrusting into him hard, as he slid his hand up his chest until he was at his neck. 

"Choke me, please, sir," Ben whimpered, the words difficult to get out. Mike wrapped his long fingers around Ben's throat, pushed him over so that he was laying on his stomach and he was on top, and then tightened his grip. Ben quickly found his airway constricted from there, unable to take a deep breath and struggling to breathe through his nose. At the same time, Mike started fucking him harder, thrusting down into him now, making a lot of noise as his hips hit Ben's arse. He let go of Ben's neck in favor of grabbing both his arms, moving them to his back. Mike pushed Ben so that he was laying on his face and held onto both his wrists as leverage so Mike could get up on his knees. When Ben felt the pressure leave his neck, he gasped, coughed, and had to take several deep breaths to recover. It felt amazing when Mike was fucking into him with his hands behind his back and his knees on either side of his hips. Mike was thrusting down into his prostate every time, at such a fast pace, and his thick cock made him feel so full and complete. His orgasm was a little unexpected honestly. Ben was loving it so much and then he started crying out, humping the bed underneath him, and his body began shaking. He could only say the word yes over and over again, and he was so grateful that Mike didnt stop on his part because he had a few orgasms, one right after the other from the constant and unrelenting prostate stimulation. His body was shaking and shivering for almost a full minute before Ben was able to think coherently again and could listen meaningfully to all the sounds Mike was making, telling him how fucking hot his orgasm was, how good he felt on his cock. 

"Cum inside me, please, sir. I want you to fill me up. I want you to breed me," Ben said in a whiny voice. Mike released his arms and leaned down, holding himself up with his fists planted down next to Ben's shoulders. Ben clenched his arse around Mike's cock repeatedly, trying to get him to cum soon. Ben begged him loudly to cum inside his arse, pushing his arse back so Mike would go deeper inside him. In seconds, Mike was crying out, his hips jerking forward as he emptied his load into Ben's arse. Ben felt it shoot inside of him and he missed the fullness of Mike's cock when he pulled out of him. 

"Thank you, sir. Thank you," Ben started saying as Mike slowly lifted his legs over so he could crash down on his chest next to him. He was breathing hard, his eyes shut tight as his heart very slowly and steadily started coming back to a normal rhythm. Ben reached a sore arm around his back and touched his arsehole with two fingers. He felt Mike's cum leaking out of him, so he used it as lube to fuck himself with his fingers. He didnt want Mike's cum to flow out of him and leak all over his sheets, no, he wanted all of his cum inside of him, locked away in his body for safe keeping. He brought his fingers up to his mouth to lick his boyfriend's cum, and that was when Mike finally started regaining awareness. He turned onto his side to watch Ben suck on his fingers. When Ben opened his eyes and saw that Mike had recovered, he instantly got on him, wrapped his arms around his back. Ben grabbed Mike's lips in a deep and passionate kiss, wrapping his legs around his legs, and trying to envelop his whole body. 

"That was so good. You make me feel so good. Im still shaking, Mike. Thank you, thank you," Ben whispered because he was out of breath, he kissed Mike all around his face, on his cheeks and nose and chin. "I love you, I love so much," he whispered in a desparate tone as he attached his lips to Mike's neck and sucked on his skin. Mike felt his heart grow by the way Ben was reacting, so loving, so grateful, so beautiful. 

"That was better than I imagined," Mike said, laughing and smiling as he ran his hand through Ben's hair and lifting his head so he could look him in the eyes. "You're gorgeous, love. Absolutely gorgegous. I love you, Ben. I'll love you forever," he said. Ben's eyes nearly began to water as he stared into Mike's blue eyes. He laid his head down on Mike's shoulders and held onto him tightly. 

"I want you forever, Mike. I want this all the time. Not just the sex. You. All of you. Your mind and heart and soul," Ben said, feeling his heart becoming full at all the open expressions of intimacy they were sharing. He never had this before. Amazing sex and amazing intimacy. Both fueling his love for the man underneath him. 

"You have me," Mike said, running his hand gently up and down Ben's back. "You're everything to me, Ebbers. I am with you forever," he said, holding Ben tighter to his chest and kissing his hairline. 

"I wish we could stay like this. I want to spend eternity with you here," Ben whispered, hugging Mike closer. 

"Did I choke you too hard, love?" Mike asked, worry evident on his tone. He knew Ben liked being choked, and he liked choking him partly because it felt so risky. He knew that Ben would do something to let him know if he was struggling too much, but after coming down, it still was something that worried him. 

"No, it was lovely. I loved it. I loved it when you held my arms down. They feel quite sore now," Ben replied, lifting his arm as Mike guided and sighing contentedly as he started kissing his arm and held his hands. 

"Your arse, too?" Mike asked with his lips on Ben's skin. 

"Yeah, definitely. I probably wont be able to walk tomorrow," Ben said, rubbing his thumb gently on Mike's hand. 

"Really?" Mike asked, now turning to look Ben in the eyes. He looked so innocent. Ben had to giggle. 

"Yes, really. You fucked me very hard," Ben laughed, bringing Mike's hand to his mouth and kissing it. "Leaving me bedridden, Michael," Ben smiled softly. 

"Well, I'll stay in bed with you tomorrow and make you feel better," Mike promised, pulling Ben down to kiss him on the mouth. 

"Mmm... If we stay in bed then you'll just fuck me again and I wont be able to walk the next day either," Ben teased, laughing. 

"Oh no, you've uncovered my plan to fuck the bloody hell out of you every night," Mike replied sarcastically, laughing along with Ben and planting soft kisses all over his face. 

"Please, you be my guest, love," Ben smiled as he captured Mike's lips in a kiss. They giggled more as they held each other in a gentle embrace and they laid together in bed, holding each other and talking and touching for hours until they decided that they had to get up and shower so they could find something to do as another date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy end of Nanowrimo! Ive met my goal so I'm officially putting this story on the backburner for 3-4 weeks. Its almost finals weeks for me so please wish me luck and know that this will be keeping me busy. I will come back to this story after finals end. Coming up is maybe some coming out to our favorite background characters?!?! Thank you for reading and I sincerely hope that you have enjoyed the story as much as I have. Bye for now!


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